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limbo over. bad news. - more from me in post 42


Forum: October 2013 Playroom

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  #41  
March 23rd, 2013, 12:30 PM
1fabulousfem's Avatar Mommy to Finn + 1!
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I am so sorry for your loss. This is just terrible.
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  #42  
March 23rd, 2013, 05:17 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you so much to everyone. And thank you to all of the kind things said about me. It really means so much to me.
I'm sorry I didn't write more yesterday. I needed some time.
Luckily, this was my ex's weekend with the kids, so I needed to try to stay together while we drove them down, too.
I've had more time, and have gotten to cry alot, and some good talking with Tom and I'm feeling a bit better.

Basically they did the scan and they said the baby hadn't grown past 7 weeks, and that there was no cardiac activity. Baby must have passed very shortly after my last scan. They are sure, and without any growth at all, I feel confident that they didn't make a mistake. Really, they have been negative about how things looked from the first scan at 6 weeks, so I should have expected it.

Since it's been about two weeks, and I haven't even had a spot, and my hormones are still high, he felt that the wait for my body to pass things naturally could be long, and he said that that could be bad for me too. He was certainly open to not doing the d&c and waiting if I wanted to, but Ijust want this over with. My body isn't normal when it comes to expelling anything in there anyway, so I might as well have the surgery and move on.
I just feel like jeez, as if this isn't bad enough, they have to do surgery?? I wish I didn't, but I just want it over.

As far as our TTC journey. Well really, the only good news to come out of this is we know we can get pregnant. In four years, this was our first positive test. We aren't giving up. We still want our together baby. It might be the wrong time to be thinking of it, but what's getting me through things right now, is knowing it's possible, and that we can try again. The dr was pretty sure it wasn't our problem, or anything we did, so he said we can try again. As long as everything is ok on Tuesday, he said he will help us do more clomid cycles in just 6 weeks. It's going to feel like a long time, but it's really not. Ironically, 6 weeks from then will fall almost exactly on our fourth year anniversary of TTC.

So I really hope you see me back around the due date clubs sometime soon.

You ladies are all amazing people, and I hope each and every one of you has an easy pregnancy, and a fantastic sweet little baby in October, and I certainly plan on stalking you along the way. Thank you for always being so nice and welcoming to me. If anyone wants to say hi to me, please feel free to pm me. I would love hearing from any of you. I will miss you all!
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #43  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:11 PM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Southwest, Missouri
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Again I am so sorry for your loss. I know it had been a long journey for you only to end in heartbreak. I'm so glad to see that you are going to ttc again though. Please, please keep us updated. You were such a valued member of this group and will definitely be missed.
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  #44  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:18 PM
Wren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I had about 2 weeks with no spotting and opted for the D&C. It was painful, but short, and then it helped me move on. If you do the D&C they might be able to do testing too. It was helpful for me because it ended up being some sort of trisomy which is a common cause of early miscarriages and not something that pointed to any future problems. It is a hard journey but even though it took us a really long time to conceive the miscarriage, we conceived again with this pregnancy right away. I hope something like that happens for you. Take care and whatever happens keep us posted.
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  #45  
March 23rd, 2013, 07:01 PM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Even when we "should" expect it, it doesn't make it any easier. With my last pregnancy, we had signs starting at 6 wks that things weren't going well, but the baby hung in there until almost 9 weeks. And although for 3 weeks I had been trying to prepare myself for the m/c, it didn't lessen the pain when it was final. I also have never m/ced on my own, so I've had 2 d&cs. If it's any comfort, the procedure really isn't that bad, there isn't much bleeding or pain, and it gets the whole thing over with quickly. Plus, then they can do testing on the fetus to see if there's a cause for the m/c, so perhaps it could help you out in the future. Also, I've heard fertility can actually increase after a m/c... after both of mine, I got pg again right away the very next cycle (I got my first post-d&c AF about 6 wks after the D&c, and got pg again that next cycle). So I really pray that that happens for you, too, if you're ready to keep trying again.
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  #46  
March 23rd, 2013, 07:24 PM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm very sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family. I'll be praying you find your rainbow
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Last edited by FishermansWife4; March 23rd, 2013 at 07:26 PM.
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  #47  
March 24th, 2013, 03:50 AM
sweety_pie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So sorry again!!

I had a d&c with my 12 week loss, its really not too bad, at least its all over quick then. Hope all goes well for you, and I hope you get your rainbow baby soon. I'll be stalking you!
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  #48  
March 24th, 2013, 07:11 AM
Julie
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I hope your physical recovery is quick. It's great that you want to keep trying, I will pray you get a sticky bean soon after you start trying again, take care of yourself!
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  #49  
March 25th, 2013, 08:53 AM
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So so sorry for your loss! This is devastating I will be praying for and hoping to see you in the DDCs soon!
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  #50  
March 25th, 2013, 10:03 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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((((HUGS)))) This breaks my heart.
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  #51  
March 25th, 2013, 01:57 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you again everyone. D&C is at noon tomorrow. At this point, being pregnant just feels like a dream, that now I have to wake up from
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #52  
March 25th, 2013, 02:51 PM
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Write about it. It will help later. When I read what I was feeling during mine it makes me cry but it reminds me how far Ive come. Have you picked out a name?
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  #53  
March 26th, 2013, 04:18 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry
It is really horrible how many losses we have had in here. Makes me so sad.
I wish you lots of strength in the days to come.
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  #54  
March 26th, 2013, 04:20 AM
sweety_pie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thinking of you!!
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  #55  
March 26th, 2013, 04:20 AM
MarchMom2007's Avatar Sticky baby wanted!
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I will be thinking about you today as you go through your D&C. I am hoping with all of my heart that you get your rainbow baby so very soon. Warm thoughts to you all day and in the coming days and weeks.
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