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OT rant sorry :(


Forum: October 2013 Playroom

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  • 3 Post By jennyrae03
  • 1 Post By *Lana*

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  #1  
April 3rd, 2013, 06:50 PM
CountryMedic911's Avatar Kerana mama to be in 2013
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Location: Fort Bragg NC
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Do you ever have a day when everything and I mean EVERYTHING you say or do is wrong and makes everyone around you mad? My nephews 9 and 4 live with me and my parents, their mother my sister lives here too but she doesn't care for them so it falls on my mother and I to care for them. They listen fine to my mom but while she was at the store I tried to get them to turn the tv and laptop off and clean up a little that way my mom wasn't tripping over toys and Legos and shoes (my sister just doesn't care I don't think) they flat out refused and told me they don't have to listen to me because I'm just their aunt. So I shut the tv off. Well my mom came home and let into me for doing that because the 9yo called my mom and complained to her. And it's been like this for weeks I tell them or ask them to do something their mother and my mom tell them the exact opposite. Please don't bash on me and say its not my place maybe it's not but idk maybe I'm wrong and should just keep to myself and stay in my room go to work and bite my tongue until we get a house on base
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  #2  
April 3rd, 2013, 06:54 PM
jennyrae03's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think as an adult in that residence, and one of their many caretakers, that you had every right to do what you did. I feel like a 9 year old needs to be taught respect towards any adult, and I don't think it's fair that you got yelled at for shutting the tv off and asking them o clean up after themselves. Just my opinion, I gues...I'm totally on your side with this!
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  #3  
April 3rd, 2013, 06:57 PM
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I agree with jennyrae03, as an adult in the household you should absolutely be voice that has to be followed. For your mother and sister not to back you up is not acceptable!
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  #4  
April 3rd, 2013, 06:58 PM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Um no. You have every right to tell them what to do *especially* when you are responsible for them. I can't believe your mom got on to you for that! What if it was something where they could have gotten seriously hurt if they didn't listen to you!? I wouldn't put up with it. If it were me I would refuse to watch them even for 15 minutes if I am not given that respect.

**hugs** sorry you have to deal with that. Utter ridiculousness.
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  #5  
April 3rd, 2013, 07:15 PM
Wanta.number2's Avatar Hi, I'm Tiffani!
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IMO, by yelling at you and disregarding you as and authority figure, they are teaching the kids that its okay to disrespect you. That also shows them that they can disrespect other adults because "they are not mom or grandma". I'm definitely with you on this one. Totally unfair and disrespectful.

Luckily for you, you mentioned moving out. To be frank, your sister and mom are going to have their hands FULL. If a nine year is lacking that kind of respect and manners, god help them in about 4 years.
If my son EVER spoke to his aunt or uncle, grandma, or ANY adult like that I would be livid!
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  #6  
April 3rd, 2013, 09:12 PM
Dolly Lama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
IMO, by yelling at you and disregarding you as and authority figure, they are teaching the kids that its okay to disrespect you. That also shows them that they can disrespect other adults because "they are not mom or grandma". I'm definitely with you on this one. Totally unfair and disrespectful.
100% agreed. If you mom really had an issue with anything, it would be only right to pull you aside and speak to you privately about it. To do this in front of them, or react in any way based on a phone call from a complaining child, is undermining you. She may mean well, but all she is doing is teaching them to be disrespectful to authority figures and to complain more. Unfortunately life isn't fair and doesn't work that way, so she's not exactly doing them any favors.

Quote:
Luckily for you, you mentioned moving out. To be frank, your sister and mom are going to have their hands FULL. If a nine year is lacking that kind of respect and manners, god help them in about 4 years.
If my son EVER spoke to his aunt or uncle, grandma, or ANY adult like that I would be livid!
Agreed here too. I don't even want to think about what this little boy is going to be like if things don't change.

And, yes, I'd be furious if my kids ever spoke to any adult family members or even close friends that way. Fortunately that's not an issue around here - my kids will listen and even address adults as Miss or Mr ______, not even by their first names unless they are asked to.
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  #7  
April 3rd, 2013, 10:50 PM
*Lana*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sounds like they need to be treated like that more often.
If my nieces or nephews said something like that to me, they would have been in trouble. You may be their aunt, but you were the caregiver at the time. Would they be able to do the same thing if their teacher told them to do something? Probably not.
Dolly Lama likes this.
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  #8  
April 4th, 2013, 04:07 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yea that isn't cool at all. My kids know to jump up and do something when their aunt or uncle tells them to.
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  #9  
April 4th, 2013, 04:10 AM
2Corinthians10:4's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with the other ladies, I think you were totally within your right to say what you did. It's not like you told them to clean your room, you asked them to clean up THEIR mess so your mom or anyone else wouldn't get hurt. All your mom is teaching them is that they can do whatever they want as long as they cry to grandma...
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  #10  
April 4th, 2013, 05:47 AM
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My kids would never say that to anyone. In fact they seem to listen to other adults or family members more than dh and I LOL
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  #11  
April 4th, 2013, 07:59 AM
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No way! You were the caretaker at the time and you had every right to ask them that! Your mom is setting the wrong precedent for them
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  #12  
April 4th, 2013, 10:16 AM
SierraWinter's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sounds dysfunctional. If you're not given the authority to tell a 9 year old what to do, then you should never have to watch them. Ever. Those kids will be disrespectful monsters if they are not taught to mind their elders.
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  #13  
April 4th, 2013, 07:50 PM
CountryMedic911's Avatar Kerana mama to be in 2013
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Thank you all so much you have made me feel better! I don't know why my mom was like that she's NEVER like that, I just don't understand anymore. But thank you all again!
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