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Okay I think I am going to go crazy - Vent :(


Forum: October 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
April 4th, 2013, 09:44 AM
ILoveStorm2011's Avatar Mack :)
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,253
Sorry I just have to vent!!
So when Dh deploys (super soon) we were planning on me moving home.
Home is driving me crazy already (we're visiting right now). Between feeling like I'm pulled in all directions, my dad's smoking, and my mom's super-all-of-a-sudden niceness I am already feeling so depressed everytime my SO leaves me alone.
I am debating just staying back where we live currently (10 hrs away from most family) just to keep what little sanity I have with this pregnancy, but that would cut into the money we were hoping to save with my moving back home (like 8,000) I just already have so many emotions going on and I can barely talk to any of the family as it is, but I don't want to be alone when the baby gets here...
At the same time I don't know if I'll want any of them around when the baby gets here haha.
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  #2  
April 4th, 2013, 09:49 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Is it possible to move home and not move in with them, but to rent a small place until SO is home from deployment? I can totally understand how hard it can be dealing with family. My mom lives with us right now and even though I love her dearly I really do want my own space back.
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  #3  
April 4th, 2013, 09:55 AM
ILoveStorm2011's Avatar Mack :)
Join Date: Feb 2013
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Apartments here are about 1000$ for a one bedroom in most cases...our BAH is only about 1000$ anyways and when DH comes back we might either have to pay the remaining time or break the lease which Idk if we could do that. If I could for sure get the higher BAH for this area I would, but that's a lot of money when I can get a house on post and only have to pay like 50$ for internet extra I am very bad when it comes to spending money.
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  #4  
April 4th, 2013, 10:03 AM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Are you sure you'll be able to save all the money you plan on or is it a maybe situation where it might get spent anyway? If it's a maybe situation, I'd save my sanity, but I have very little of it left anyway and value my own personal space WAY too much.

Either way, it sounds like a tough situation that only you can decide what's right for your family. I do it alone with 3 all the time and have c-sections. The last two c's I recovered from, I had no help in my home or near me and even if I did, I didn't really utelize it. I'm not your typical person though...In the last 4 years of our relationship, DH has been home for a total of maybe 2 years (not in a row) and I'm being generous with saying 2 years.
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  #5  
April 4th, 2013, 10:33 AM
Lemon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That's tough.

Will your family be helpful after the baby comes?
I know I'm more moody and emotional then I will be in the coming months, so there is a chance they will annoy you less in the future.
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  #6  
April 4th, 2013, 10:48 AM
ILoveStorm2011's Avatar Mack :)
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See I am not certain...
My dad would be too busy more than likely, or smell like smoke.
My mom would be overbearing and want it her way.
And the So's parents can be odd...so I'm very unsure, but with the bfing and cloth diapering I think I would turn them off to letting me stay there haha
I might just be better on my own, but it's scary.
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  #7  
April 4th, 2013, 11:01 AM
WorkerBeeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I say stay where you are. It will be peaceful just you and baby alone. You will get some really special bonding time. And if you can afford it, even if barely, I say stay home! Save your sanity and enjoy little baby. The truth is you will be doing it all by yourself anyway.

Go on meetup.com and meet some other pregnant ladies in your area before the baby comes so you can get some more friends with little ones and build a support group.

My experience is that moms do most of the work - like 95%, when others are around, so for 5% I would save my sanity.

But whatever you choose I understand.

I moved in with my mom when Sophia was about 3 months old (kicked my ex husband out when she was 6 weeks old and stayed for an extra 6 weeks which was all I could afford) and it was okay for a while and then I was driven nuts by my mom. I am grateful I was able to do that, as obviously there were financial pros to that, but ultimately I paid for it with my sanity in the end.
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  #8  
April 4th, 2013, 11:13 AM
Julie
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Location: NY
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That is a difficult situation, I can understand your indecision. Sounds like you living with them wouldnot allow you to fully enjoy your time with the baby. $8000 is a lot of money, however. Is your sanity and happiness worth that much? I really can't stand my mom most of the time so I'm not sure what I would do. You said it would be scary being alone, but it wouldn't be as bad as you think it will. You will get into a routine and feel confident in a short amount of time.
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  #9  
April 4th, 2013, 11:49 AM
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I'm so sorry it's not better at home.

When I was pg with my first my dh was deployed for a year. I moved home and it was a wonderful experience for my parents.
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  #10  
April 4th, 2013, 12:29 PM
katchi's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 525
Oh this is such a tough call. ITA about meetup.com. It has been an amazing resource of friends to me when none of my friends were having children and I wanted a playgroup. LOVE that site. I think I would opt to go it alone just because I prefer the solitude and quiet when I'm overtired or stressed. You can definitely do this! (My hubs deployed less than 3 weeks after I had Birdie and I'd had a c-section. It was hard, but having a newborn is hard no matter what.) $8000 is a lot of money, but not really when you count in that you're going to be made crazy for months, you'll have to move while pregnant and you'll have increased risk of asthma by exposing the baby to smoke.
Decide what you want to do and then post to us, we'll help you justify the decision either way. Hee hee.
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  #11  
April 4th, 2013, 04:26 PM
ILoveStorm2011's Avatar Mack :)
Join Date: Feb 2013
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Well Dh wants me to try it out! He bribed me with a new Michael Kors purse and wallet so what's a girl to say !
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  #12  
April 4th, 2013, 05:55 PM
Lotsakids's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Staying with your parents or staying where you are?

Either way I hope it goes well.
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  #13  
April 5th, 2013, 07:48 AM
ILoveStorm2011's Avatar Mack :)
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,253
Staying with them he really wants me with family so I guess I'll stay Thanks for the help ladies! If it gets too bad we found an amazing apartment for super cheap back home that I will move into if need be and an extended stay hotel for the super crazy weeks!
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