Log In Sign Up

DH Rant


Forum: October 2013 Playroom

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree12Likes
  • 2 Post By Allisonjuly
  • 1 Post By anothermother
  • 1 Post By Rosiegirl7
  • 1 Post By Lemon
  • 4 Post By *Lana*
  • 1 Post By FishermansWife4
  • 1 Post By Irshtripletsmommy
  • 1 Post By jamieshalon2

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To October 2013 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 4th, 2013, 01:47 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 7,185
Ugh My DH is being a huge *** the last three days. First off let me say, he has been awesome so far in helping out around the house etc. And I don't blame him if he's just getting tired of it. BUT the last three days even though I've been nauseated still and throw up in the mornings, I am feeling better than I did a couple weeks back. I go the extra length to contribute to the household work whenever I get any burst of energy or just plain breaks in the nausea. To him it looks like I am feeling much better now but still not stepping up and letting him relax. First off we do nothing during the evenings. We have food in the fridge which we just heat up and we leave the dishes etc. to be dealt with during the weekend. The only thing we need to do is spend time with DD if at all she wants us to. She is usually good at entertaining herself.
So the last few days he's been constantly like get DD some snacks, help her out in the bathroom, can you go out and play with her etc. while he is sitting on his *** browsing. I don't mind doing these things at all, even if I feel like puking while doing them, because heck I know he's done a lot, but what bothered me is that he says this in an accusatory way like, ' you are feeling much better now, there's no reason you can't do it' Or 'you can't milk this any longer' I brushed this feeling off initially thinking it was all in my head. But yesterday when I asked him to do something for DD he actually came out and said, " You know you are expecting way too much just because you have this pregnancy excuse" . I about flipped out!!! He didn't use those exact words, because we speak Tamil at home. But that's exactly what it meant. I went off on him and just lost it.

There was this one time he woke up with a dreadful hangover and threw up like 3 or 4 times in a cpl of hours. I tried giving him fluids etc,. but he was just being a big baby. I suggested going to the ER and he immediately agreed and I actually took him to the ER where they just gave him a zofran and a sprite!! After we got home I babied him so much that entire weekend. Now try living through that hangover for 3 ******* months you moron, because that's exactly how I feel everyday!! He thinks carrying his baby is a cakewalk for me now that I am in the second tri. Ugh I am just soooo mad. When I asked him if what he said was really fair, he says ' yeah okay, it was a bit harsh okay' completely un apologetic!!

I dropped the subject went and threw up and just went downstairs, cooked something for DD cleaned up the entire freaking kitchen, did all the dishes, cleaned the living room and threw up again. Because he made me feel like I owed him or something!!

This morning he calls me like nothing happened and started chatting with me. I told him unless he was ready to beg and grovel for forgiveness I wasn't talking to him.

I don't know I might be overreacting here. But I am the pregnant one & No I am still not feeling well and I ******* come to work everyday because we ******* cant afford to lose my job and I do everything possible to make it easy on him. I tell everyone how amazing he is etc. Perhaps I should stop doing that. Ugh I am just mad Rant over!
__________________
Expecting baby girl September 29th

Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 4th, 2013, 02:27 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,298
Pregnancy is not easy on a marriage. I can honestly say some of the most intense haterid I've ever felt for my dh has been while pg. I think it's rooted in the sickness part. Overall I don't blame him but I know deep down I'm jealous he doesn't have to feel like this and still gets the reward at the end.

My dh wasn't as good going through this with the first two. Time, age, and experience help. They don't come out of the box that way
Anitha and jamieshalon2 like this.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 4th, 2013, 02:36 PM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Southwest, Missouri
Posts: 6,062
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allisonjuly View Post
Pregnancy is not easy on a marriage. I can honestly say some of the most intense haterid I've ever felt for my dh has been while pg. I think it's rooted in the sickness part. Overall I don't blame him but I know deep down I'm jealous he doesn't have to feel like this and still gets the reward at the end.

My dh wasn't as good going through this with the first two. Time, age, and experience help. They don't come out of the box that way

True that!! It's been rough this time around for me too. DH hasn't said anything like your DH said, but the underhand "sigh, this laundry is piling up" "this house is a wreck" "we're having that for dinner *again*" yeah.... I try to help as much as I can especially since this is the 2nd time I've been through 5+ weeks of morning sickness in the last 7 months. We finally had a long sit down and talk it out time. It really helped. He's actually been asking if there is anything he can pick up dinner-wise to bring home so I don't have to cook! (a little late because I'm actually feeling up to cooking dinner again, but the thought helps). DH is a huge baby when it comes to being sick, and sometimes he just needs to be reminded that when he's feeling like ______ that's me.... for 6 weeks.

Hopefully this time will pass for you soon. Maybe once you feel better other things will start falling into place. Sorry you have to go through this. You are in good company though. Totally get it.
Anitha likes this.
__________________
Christine, momma to Chloe [7.20.07], Alexis [9.8.09], and Jude [10.14.13]


Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 4th, 2013, 02:47 PM
Rosiegirl7's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Berkeley, CA
Posts: 1,207
Yea I feel ya. Especially after working all day then you are expected to do the housework PLUS being tired and pregnant can be exhausting and I don't think guys understand that. Even when I'm not throwing up sick I have ZERO energy for anything and its hard to explain that to my SO sometimes.

I hope things get better for you and maybe you can talk with him tonight about how you are feeling and maybe he feels a certain way too that he wants to get off his chest. During our 9 hour drive to San Diego this weekend my boyfriend and I really talked over EVERYTHING and came out so much closer and more understanding, so far no complaints he has really been stepping in to help!

Also hope that the second tri brings you more energy and the sickness goes away!
Anitha likes this.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 4th, 2013, 02:51 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 7,185
Thank you ladies, for understanding. Helps a lot to know that my feelings are not entirely unreasonable from an outside perspective.
__________________
Expecting baby girl September 29th

Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 4th, 2013, 03:02 PM
Lemon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,088
I'm so sorry.

I think my DH was tired of being super daddy helper over the weekend. I tried to remind him that in a few weeks I should be feeling much better.
Moms shouldn't be allow to feel sick.
Anitha likes this.
__________________
angela - mom to joey (8) and emma (4) and william jude (10/16/13)
Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 4th, 2013, 03:20 PM
*Lana*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 7,279
Next time you feel like throwing up, accidentally aim at him.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #8  
April 4th, 2013, 03:29 PM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,577
I'm so sorry DH is acting this way. I hope I don't cross any boundaries with this. I think he might have been out of line saying that. I don't think husbands or men in general, understand how rough it is on us to be pregnant, working, and a mom.( I did work while pregnant with DD#2 and it was a major strain on me and I had no one to help at the time. I kind of thank God no one was with me. I was a real witch lol) I hope you two can come to an understanding. Maybe sit down and talk to him about what's really going on, how you're feeling, etc. I also suggest getting some zofran for yourself. It's definitely helping me and I think a few other ladies here. It's also not supposed to damage/effect baby, just in case you're worried about that. I hope you start to feel better soon and DH starts to understand where you're coming from with being sick, working, taking care of the home and your beautiful daughter. :hugs: again!
Anitha likes this.
__________________
Amber Wife of Tim ; Mom to - (7) (4) (3), (2 months) and Step mom (9)




2013 Mommy
"No freedom til' we're equal. D*mn right I support it." - Macklemore "Same love"
Reply With Quote
  #9  
April 4th, 2013, 08:06 PM
Julie
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 3,079
I'm so sorry he was being so insensitive to you, I have been there many times as. I don't think you overreacted, you are right to stand up for yourself. If you don't men will walk all over us, believe me. I really hope he wakes up and appreciates you more for tthe awesome wife you are
Anitha likes this.
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #10  
April 5th, 2013, 05:26 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 3,143
Send a message via Yahoo to jamieshalon2 Send a message via Skype™ to jamieshalon2
I don't think you over reacted either. I would have done the same thing. I have a big mouth when it comes to my dh. If I don't like something he says or does I am very vocal about it right then and there. I guess he doesn't mind it so much since we have been married for almost 13 years, lol.
Anitha likes this.
__________________

Jamie age 37-Single mommy and loving life
Tristen James born 10-28-00
Logan Boyce born 1-19-04
Brayden Monroe born 8/2/07
Sophia Elizabeth born 10-4-2103
Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 5th, 2013, 07:57 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 7,185
Thank you soo much ladies!! Guess what, he came and offered me a super genuine apology. He said he really didn't mean it that way...he just meant that I was getting a bit too irritable and snappy because I am pregnant and it was wearing him down. He said still he should have let me keep on thinking that he accused me of taking advantage of the fact that I am pregnant and that he should have apologized sooner. He was so nice about it that I finally accepted his apology Phew...I am amazed that he did that! He usually draws these things out forever and even when he apologizes he makes it a point to say that I was at fault in some small way too. This time, he took full responsibility and said he felt really bad for hurting me Happy ending afterall
__________________
Expecting baby girl September 29th

Reply With Quote
  #12  
April 5th, 2013, 09:30 AM
mamarazzi40's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 423
I said to mine the other day, "Look I know I'm super sensitive right now, but you are super INsensitive right now."

Men are idiots.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:55 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0