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We are meeting a doula tonight! She lives close by and seems very friendly, gets great reviews. Plus, she's coming to my house, so laziness-score!
I am going to ask her about hypnobirthing (I hope that her fee includes attending this class, because that would seem expensive otherwise?), what she does in the months before labor and during labor, whether she comes to the house before we get back, etc. Just basically get a run-down of everything. I want to know how many labors she's attended, and where she learned her stuff.
What else should I ask? What did you discuss during your meeting, if you went with a doula?
I have never had a doula, but those sound like pretty good questions to me. I don't think a doula would be very beneficial to me. My family has learned that when I am in labor (or any pain really) to just stay as far away from me as they can. I want no one near me, no one talking to me, etc. I can and usually am a total B when I am in pain. I just want to be left in my own little world to focus on helping my body naturally take the pain away, lol.
Jamie age 36-Married to Widget age 33 for 13 years
Tristen James born 10-28-00
Logan Boyce born 1-19-04
Brayden Monroe born 8/2/07
Sophia Elizabeth born 10-4-2103
I think I would ask that if for some reason she would not be able to make your labor or delivery, if she has an assistant or someone else that would be there for you. (If I was planning on hypnobirthing, I know I would want to make sure I most definitely had someone to coach me no matter what?.
the most important thing for your labor is that your support team gets along, she can be the greatest doula but if she doesn't get along with you then she isn't a good fit for you. You should also ask her about how she would deal with disagreeable hospital staff. You want a doula that can keep the environment calm for you so you are not stuck between a battle with your doula and other care providers, that being said as a doula I've only met one nurse ever who was disagreeable and I just tried to keep her feeling like she was valuable while silently disagreeing with most of her thoughts and advising my client when she wasn't around with suggestions of what might be helpful to her.
all your questions seem well prepared and she will have lots of information for you as well, doulas are pretty good usually at helping you to decide for yourself, and if she isn't a good fit she will probably have a list of other area doulas to recommend to you
Thanks ladies! I had a terrific meeting with her last night and my DH said she is perfect. She is so easy going but not meek at all, I like that. What we liked best about what she discussed with us was that she would play the role that we needed her to play, and that we might not know what that is until the day of, but that she would help DH and I along as little or as much as we needed. She is also familiar with my practice and teaches hypnobirthing. I can't afford to do both (this birth is such a cash drain! ha) so I'm going to do my research and figure out how I want to proceed. She also only takes one mother a quarter because she does teach those classes and have a regular job, so she wouldn't have any "birth collisions" with other clients at all. She has back ups, though, that would come in case she was super sick (the only reason, she said, she wouldn't be able to attend and in that case I'd be glad she missed! ha). It was a great meeting. I think I want to work with her also because (total narcissistic alert haha) she is my age, also from the northeast and we seem to have a lot in common and we'd get along. Honestly though I don't meet a lot of people that have some of my kookier qualities and I think it's rare to hit it off like that!