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I'm a mess of awkwardness but the people around love and accept me and I try to not be judgemental so I've been working on not judging myself, which, most of the time is a joke. That being said, I do have a heart of gold. It's just sometimes hard to see because I'm so awkward, especially in social situations. My favorite color is neon green and I'm also obsessed with Batman! I even found a Batman stroller but DH said no
I've worked in childcare since I was 16... first babysitting, then full on live-in nannying, then working in a daycare in the infant room, toddler room, after school program, then various other nanny jobs, infant nanny, taking care of a 2 year old and 5 year old... and I got to the point about a year ago where I just LOATHED taking care of other people's kids, I would get so bitter and resentful because I just wanted my own and it's so frustrating when they're screaming and crying but you're not their mom so you can't really comfort them in the same way-- not to mention kids can just be so draining- especially when there is no reward of a long term bonding situation like when parents just stop using you as a babysitting because the kids go into preschool full time, etc.... so I definitely was feeling like I disliked kids awhile ago- my last job was taking care of TWO 2 month old infants at once. the parents were nightmares to deal with and the job was pure hell. just crying constantly for 8 hours. What kind of baby CRIES every 10 minutes ALL ****** day long??? I have never ever in my years of childcare dealt with such a difficult little gremlin. The other baby I watched cried only when he was hungry or didn't want to take a nap but this other one... ugh- it was UGLY, no cute button nose, it had a hook nose already like its parents and it was like this little worm that just ate and ate and **** and ****...
I am really hoping my baby is super easy and that I love it and bond with it immediately so I don't resent it.
*"It is through the body we realize we are a spark of divinity"* ~ Iyengar