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  #21  
April 11th, 2013, 07:41 PM
Wren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I just want to clarify that in my original post I wasn't talking about you, YoginiMomma, when I was talking about people being dismissive of women's pain. I was just talking about the subject in general and some people who take it to extremes. I know plenty of people who have had wonderful experiences with natural childbirth and homebirth. I know things can get heated when talking about such personal choices, but I like to have these discussions and it is always interesting to hear someone else's perspective. As someone with a lot of yoga experience (assuming from your name) you are probably very well set up to benefit from techniques like hypnobirthing. I have always been crap at meditation and mind over matter, and since I had to be induced because of complications I think everything was way more intense for me than natural labor. I am hoping to practice some breathing techniques more this time to be better prepared, even if I end up with drugs because I do believe anxiety and tension worsen the pain.

Certain labors and certain women are going to experience levels of pain that probably can't be overcome, but I think all those techniques can help lessen even some of that pain and associated fear. I think it is empowering for women to go into labor knowing that it doesn't have to be bad and terrifying and that they have some tools. I just sometimes feel the need to balance out some of the beautiful labor stories with the story of mine - which it is definitely the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life and I wanted to die- but don't worry even if you draw the short straw you will make it through and eventually forget about it. I'm also the type of person who likes to warn people that the first 4 months of a newborn might be hell on earth, but don't worry, it will get better. I recognize that it is good that there are a lot of more optimistic, reassuring people out there to balance out my comments.

Edited to add - I am going to bed now before I create any more trouble!
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  #22  
April 11th, 2013, 08:06 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
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lol Didn't think I'd start this! I have nothing against natural remedies when they work for people, however, I am a big believer in medicine. My dad suffers from headaches constantly(whiplash side effect). For the past 40 years he has never had one day without them, and to not end up in the hospital, he takes narcotics daily. That's what he found to work. I love medicine. It keeps my dad in as little pain as possible.

But I also grab aloe leaves when I get burnt. =) I try water before trying pain pills, I even have a gluten free diet normally. You aren't weird to me, my mom is a health nut, too. I'm used to it. She grows sprouts year round, eats gluten free, doesn't use the microwave or take medicine, etc. She shops at that smelly store with all the vitamins and organic produce. She has GERD and changed her diet. I grab pills. My dad reaches for pills.

Autism and vaccinations, though. I won't say much cause I'd fight anyone on that one being Autistic myself. My child has it, my brother, father, and grandfather have/had it. I have one aunt and several cousins with it. Some have had vaccinations, some haven't, but they ALL ended up with it. Shots didn't change one thing. My grandfather was a home birth with no vaccinations, and he had it. I could tell my oldest had it at one month old. She was stemming by 4 months. Her very behavior during the day of her birth, looking back, was odd. You can see it in faces. Those form in the first trimester long before shots.
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  #23  
April 11th, 2013, 08:09 PM
Effervescence's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I had a home birth that I basically meditated through with my second child. I did NOT have an orgasm, in fact I screamed like heck when she pretty much just flew out of me (in my midwife's words). That was my gut reaction, and that was my experience. I don't think that anyone can judge what someone else's experience has been or could be. Perhaps someone could have an orgasm during labor, perhaps most people do not.
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  #24  
April 11th, 2013, 08:30 PM
Cccbb61013's Avatar Veteran
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To me, that is just creepy/weird to have any sort of sexual feelings when giving birth to your own child. I can't understand why anyone would even want to! That being said, I was to busy puking and almost passing out from the pain to even attempt anything but pushing him out and i did so in 20 min. I will never understand how some women can say childbirth is painless or have orgasims. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life and i am very in tune with my body.
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  #25  
April 11th, 2013, 09:53 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
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It was just close to the worst for me. By my 5th pregnancy, hormones had done a number on my gallbladder. Passing a thorny stone was the worst pain ever. I'd give birth naturally once a month for a year over a gallbladder attack! lol That's what kept me pushing last time. I've had worse!

Puking during labor sucks. Had that with my first, and the loving nurses were like, "I bet it moved the baby down some! That's a few minutes less of labor!" Ugh. They gave me some phenergan with my second. So nice. Helped me nap to boot.
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  #26  
April 11th, 2013, 10:22 PM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Mama to 5 girls and 1 boy
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I had an orgasmic labor(not planned just happend lol)with my 3rd lol

And it wasn't sexual just orgasmic there is a difference
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  #27  
April 11th, 2013, 10:30 PM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Mama to 5 girls and 1 boy
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I didn't even read these comments before I posted and I am appalled DO NOT say anything is not possible if you don't know it

I have had 4 babies one was horrible HORRIBLE the next one was amazing so yeah being uninformed is the worst thing a women can do

So sad!!!!
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6 time HG survivor , AP Mama to 5 GIRLS & a BOY
Karrara 10 01/11/05, Kaiah 8 1/2 07/01/06, Kayda 7 01/12/08
Katara 3 02/10/12, Korra 1 10/10/13, Kannon 3wks 02/21/15

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  #28  
April 12th, 2013, 04:31 AM
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Each labor and delivery is going to be as different as the child that it produces.

I had a vey medical birth with my first. My second was all natural and super easy. I felt like a million bucks after. All of a sudden I thought I knew everything and for the next 4 years I was critical of women who didn't do natural and thought most women were wimps.

Then I had my 3rd. Karma is B!!! The contractions with him hurt like nothing I could have imagined. 48 hours later, no sleep, they were unrelentless. I actually bit my dh hand!!! I finally asked for an epidural and it took the edge off but I could still feel the contractions.

Forever humbled.
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  #29  
April 12th, 2013, 05:09 AM
Lemon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I've been pretty lucky so far with drug free, quick births. But they both hurt during the last few hours.
I've heard of this before, it's just hard for me to believe.
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  #30  
April 12th, 2013, 05:58 AM
Wanta.number2's Avatar Hi, I'm Tiffani!
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I have to say that I think I'm done posting any of my honest opinions here. It seems like you have to tip toe around some people here about their beliefs or they fly of the handle. Just because I don't believe that something like "orgasmic" birth is a normal thing that's doable on a normal basis, does not make me "sexually stifled" or "sad". Ridiculous.
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  #31  
April 12th, 2013, 06:27 AM
fludderbye's Avatar Super Mommy
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I have read all of the post I honostly do not think anyone is mad at anyone else-

maybe i am just niave or whatever but i do not think anything said was ment to offend anyone else

it was something differnt that she found- I have never heard of it before either

so lets all have a HAppy & healthy 9 months together and respect everyones else and just agree to disagree sometimes
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  #32  
April 12th, 2013, 06:29 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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Okay here I go putting my 2 cents in.....

I'm in no shape or form an expert but I have given birth 7 times. And had different experiences with all of them.

On a sexual stand point I am very sensitive and let's just say it doesn't take me long to have the big O several times. Would I want that during childbirth? No. While I don't like the pain I find it amazing what our bodies can do in giving birth. Does it hurt? Yes. But I grew up with the bible and the bible states pain in child bearing was Eves punishment for eating off the forbidden tree.

That being said...... I have to try very hard to not laugh when people who have never experienced something come off knowing everything there is to know about it. Until you are in labor and the process is moving along you never know what will happen and how it will go. I think of myself as on the crunchy side of parenting yet I was not crunchy enough for one of those groups. With my 5th baby I was on a group like that and was told by someone who had never given birth before along with others that I could have a home birth. It was way less risky than having a hospital birth. And I wouldn't have people pressuring me to use drugs. Doesn't matter my history with my other births.

Well long story short, it's easy for someone to say things never having experience themselves.....

Let me go back a little. My first baby I had an epidural. Didnt feel a thing even when it was pushing time. My 2nd I asked for an epi at 7cm got it quickly, laid back down and it was time to push. Didnt really have time to take. My 3rd I labored in the shower, it was great. Asked to be checked was told I was 7cm it would be another few hours, doc left and baby was born 10 minutes later with a panicked nurse. Cord was wrapped around his neck twice and had to be cut off before I could push him all the way out. He came so fast by the time my doc was done stitching me up I was hemorraging and going between somewhat awake and passing out. She had to manually scrape out my uterus after I was stitched up along with several doses of meds to avoid surgery and a transfusion. My 4th was a bad induction experience with cervidil ended with an epi Nd once labor actually started he was born in 40 minutes. They had meds on board to avoid me bleeding out. Then came my 5th. I knew birth without an epi was much better. I checked into using the birth center an was told no given my history. But I knew I could still go natural. I knew my docs didnt push drugs on me and I was fine with a hospital birth. Yet I was completely bothered by these ladies telling me how bad I was for deciding to go with an ob and the hospital. Well #5 did come all natural. Only again the cord was around his neck 2 times only this time I couldn't stop pushing for them to cut it off. He was chocked coming out and had broken blood vessels all over his poor little head and face. I on the other hand ripped VERY VERY bad and lost alot of blood. Thank god for being at the hospital.

You NEVER know how things will go.

#6 I actually met with 2 midwives because I would love a home birth both said given my history it would not be safe or worth the risks. And these 2 ladies are very crunchy. With #6 I did have an epi in hopes to control pushing better as to not rip and bleed too much. After birth I had a spinal headache for 8 months. #7 again I had an epi, only half took and was the worst experience ever.

None of this had anything to do with an orgasmic birth I know. My point is everyone had their own experience and has no right to judge others on their choices and experiences. No one gets a badge of honor to wear for all to see if they had a home birth or a csec. The goal is a healthy baby! As long as someone is not causing harm to their baby intentionally why should someone make them feel bad cuz they have a different birth choice or experience? In the end when you baby is 5 years old people aren't gonna walk up to you and give you a high five cuz you had a csec. Or pat you on the back cuz you had a water birth. Likely they don't know and won't care.

Putting energy into encouraging others is so much better than putting them down with know it all attitudes. What works for me may not work for you. If we were all the same the world would be boring.

Back to the original subject.... Natural birth for me was amazing but I would NOT want an orgasmic birth. That sounds a bit icky. I am also very yucked out when I hear nursing moms say they enjoy the feel of nursing as it pleasures them. That seems odd to me. I enjoy nursing as its a bonding time and it amazes me that I am the reason my child is thriving. But there is no sexual pleasure!

With this baby I hope for a natural epi free birth and I am looking into hypno birthing.
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  #33  
April 12th, 2013, 06:35 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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Btw I typed that big response on my phone so if it doesn't make a lick of sense and has a ton of spelling/auto correct errors and is disorganized blame the drunk monkey! Lol
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  #34  
April 12th, 2013, 07:48 AM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
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I saw a clip of one discussed in a news report online, and I know I felt the same way as you. Just total disbelief. Not that it's possible, but that there is any chance that is going to happen to me! I am totally down with breathing exercises, trying to stay loose and not tense up, reading about what to expect and how to try and overcome it. But I haven't done it before and the best I can hope for is that I can trust my body to do its job and give me those endorphins and other fantastic hormones that I need to love the baby that has the potential to hurt like hell coming out!

It is naive and a little presumptuous to make definitive statements about birth without having ever given birth before. I try not to and if I do please shake some sense back into me!

I don't like to see drama stirred up on the boards. I think we are all coming from the same place and think that we need to learn from and appreciate each other. I think there are hard feelings from another post - Ashley, I don't think you realize that sometimes your tone probably doesn't reflect your feelings and could put people off. Once you told all of us that the nickname Nana is stupid. I had a Nana, and she was lovely. My MIL is going to be Nana to my child. Other people here have beloved Nanas. Try and be more gentle with your words, that's all. I can guarantee you that everyone here respects and is interested in your ideas about health and nutrition - I mean ****, who else knows what kind of foods to eat to cure all these issues we have! I think that's awesome - I hate looking for a pill when things can work for me naturally. You truly do bring something extra to the group and I hope you stay!

Everybody needs to continue to give their honest opinions. I do… except in cases of significant others/relationships because my opinion is usually pretty stark (tough love! break up with the bum! etc) and also because that stuff is usually one sided when it comes out on the boards you know? I'm only an armchair professional.

Oh and holy cow Jenn - quit doing so many dizzy bat races before going into labor! I can't believe how many wrapped cord issues you've had - I have my fingers crossed that you have a super easy #8!!

Peace and love! and donuts!
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  #35  
April 12th, 2013, 07:52 AM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Mama to 5 girls and 1 boy
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I'm not saying anyone was mean but some of the responses were majorly judgmental and hurt when I get called sick and other things because of the way I felt it so sad! it was orgasmic for me no actual orgasm yuck but it felt great dont judge if you don't understand!!!!!!!!

Every labor is so different my second was horrible my third great but to have people call my labor icky because they don't understand hurts sorry

Quote:
I have to say that I think I'm done posting any of my honest opinions here. It seems like you have to tip toe around some people here about their beliefs or they fly of the handle. Just because I don't believe that something like "orgasmic" birth is a normal thing that's doable on a normal basis, does not make me "sexually stifled" or "sad". Ridiculous.
I called the way this thread turned sad not you hun, I'm the first who should have kept my opinion to myself

I don't care what others feel about my experiences they weren't there, I will always say how I feel because I am 10000% honest and open
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6 time HG survivor , AP Mama to 5 GIRLS & a BOY
Karrara 10 01/11/05, Kaiah 8 1/2 07/01/06, Kayda 7 01/12/08
Katara 3 02/10/12, Korra 1 10/10/13, Kannon 3wks 02/21/15

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  #36  
April 12th, 2013, 07:54 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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Crazy part about the cords is my #2 had it once but it was an easy slip off as I pushed and same with #4. So babies 2-5 had cords and #6 came out sunny side up. Lol
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  #37  
April 12th, 2013, 07:58 AM
Wren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I just think on discussion boards it is really easy to misinterpret tone because you are not there face-to-face to react and moderate how you are coming across. Things like sarcasm and humor and nuance can be missed, people might reply to a post because it gets them thinking, but it reads like they are directly addressing the poster, and of course it is easier to be blunt about opinions because you are not sitting down with the person. I try not to take things to personally, but I understand when I feel like I am being misunderstood or attacked it is so hard not to respond and defend myself.
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  #38  
April 12th, 2013, 08:11 AM
Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Iowa
Posts: 5,286
I say if a woman has an orgasm during birth, good for her! Me personally, I have enough trouble Oing during sex, so I dont expect fireworks during labor.

I do feel though, that all women are made differently. Their girl parts are different. Maybe that has something to do with it. And every labor is different. I personally am blessed with fast, intense labors. I havent had epidurals, partly because I was determined to do it on my own, and partly because I felt like the pain was manageable up until it was "go time". Both of my births were definitely uncomfortable, but not excruciating.

I hope you'll stick around, Yogini. It takes all kinds of mamas to make a well-rounded group. And I look forward to hearing about your birth experience.
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  #39  
April 12th, 2013, 08:24 AM
Wanta.number2's Avatar Hi, I'm Tiffani!
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Summer, I'm not upset with you, one of the above posters is right, it can be hard to recognize tone when you are simply reading instead of hearing someone speak. I understand what you are saying. I just didn't feel like I was trying or attempting to be judgmental at all. The idea to me is just unrealistic, and I'm not saying it isn't absolutely possible, or that anyone was foolish for thinking it is. Just wanted to clarify.
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  #40  
April 12th, 2013, 08:32 AM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Mama to 5 girls and 1 boy
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No for sure I don't think you were judgmental at all most were not

But with saying its icky and not natural that feel like judgment, if you don't understand the feeling saying things like that makes people who have had different experiences feel judged

Women feel things so differently so really we all need to understand that!!!!

I have had 4 very different labours and all were beautiful!!!
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6 time HG survivor , AP Mama to 5 GIRLS & a BOY
Karrara 10 01/11/05, Kaiah 8 1/2 07/01/06, Kayda 7 01/12/08
Katara 3 02/10/12, Korra 1 10/10/13, Kannon 3wks 02/21/15

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