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I vote Helen too. It's your grandma too, not just after his. And if any of her kids are girls - oh, uh uh. I'd be loud pointing that out.
My sister and I have talked similar names before and all 3 girls would honor our grandfather in a name. Just because I may be first, so what if cousins have the same name? Growing up I had my grandpa Patric, an uncle, a stepfather and a stepbrother. Plus my sister who went by Mandy and a stepsister who did the same. Confusing at time, but no big.
I agree maybe approach it once you know. Maybe some time and distance will help DH come around. If she's not even having anymore - well who does that leave to honor his grandmother with the name?