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DH was just offered a new job and things are tight for the next few months since we are paying off all of our debt and starting to save. MIL was a pretty bad mother to my DH. And the way she treats him now is so manipulative I want to scream. If she wants to visit, she could care less to see me or DS. When she visits, she asks DH to go here or there and she EXPECTS him to pay, without asking, for everything, from her food, to her hotel room, to something she wants at a store. If DH goes to buy something, she puts everything she wants on the counter and steps back expecting everything to be paid for. She and her BF both work. She knows we have a baby coming and that we are trying to better our lives, but as soon as she found out DH has a new job, she now calls sometimes twice a day, when before we barely heard from her.
So, she calls up DH yesterday, and told him she wants him to pay for her car insurance, because she doesn't have any spending money left over. Are you KIDDING? I put my foot down and told him NO! and he finally listened. After we told her no, she got mad and hung up on DH because we refused to tell her how much DH's salary was. She claimed it was her business and that he "owes" her for taking care of him when he was kid. (They lived in a travel trailer, my DH slept in a large CABINET until he was 10, and she washed their clothes once a month, just to name a few instances)
Finally, I was able to help DH see how she has been using him, and while he will keep a relationship with her, she will no longer badger him for money!
Wow, what a horrible woman! What happened between her and your FIL? I would think he would be upset by that behavior.
She and my FIL split up years ago when the kids were babies, she left him. He tried to take custody of DH and my SIL, and she refused. Just to get them out of horrible living situation they were in, FIL insisted and MIL finally agreed to move herself and the kids in with him as a roommate kind of situation. Eventually he couldn't take it anymore and booted her out, but by that time the kids were old enough to make the decision to stay with my FIL (who I love dearly, he is an awesome guy)
FIL is never surprised by the crap she pulls, and he is always on my side when it comes to DH giving her what she asks for. Helping out family is one thing, but she constantly asks for money or things because she doesn't want to spend her own.
Last edited by Wanta.number2; May 15th, 2013 at 10:49 PM.
Oh my goodness, that woman sounds crazy. I am sorry you and your dh have to deal with that. For a mother to expect payment back for raising you is just absurd!! i am glad that he put his foot down.
I wish him luck with the new job.
Jamie age 37-Single mommy and loving life
Tristen James born 10-28-00
Logan Boyce born 1-19-04
Brayden Monroe born 8/2/07
Sophia Elizabeth born 10-4-2103
It might be the hormones but it would have been all I could do not to freak out on her lol. Good for you for letting Dh deal with his mom (even if it took a freak out from you for him to do it). That lets her know that it is coming from BOTH OF YOU and not just her mean DIL lol.
You don't even have to justify it with the whole 'cabinet' thing - if a person chooses to have and raise a child, they do so at their own expense. Most kids will someday happily give back if you raise them in a mutually-supportive family environment and teach them that generosity and caring for others is a virtue, but saying you're "owed" something is right out.
Best way to get people to dislike you: act entitled to what they have that they've worked hard to get.