We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
Wow, what a shock that must have been! Congratulations I've always found out pretty early in pregnancy, but if I hadn't I would be concerned like you since I do enjoy my wine. However, since your doctor is not worried and you were not an alcoholic, I would not worry
I think you are fine. I had a roomate in college that the following year she delivered a baby on her livingroom floor and said she never knew she was pregnant... She drank and smoke fairly heavily the whole time. He's now a 16 year old basketball star at his high school.
Sounds like you know the stats - it takes a pretty serious amount of chronic alcohol use to cause a real threat. Know that in many countries in Europe, women never stop having a glass of wine with daily meals. Our country's paranoia of alcohol is more likely a symptom of our Puritan philosophical ancestry more than it is of any alcohol-based epidemic of birth defects.
My thoughts exactly, and as others have pointed out, many of our parents and grandparents drank and smoked too!
If it makes you feel any better, my second child was a total surprise (we were using condoms). I had no symptoms, no clue, and didn't find out until I ended up going to the hospital for an unrelated medical problem, so I was probably already through my first trimester when I found out. After the shock and denial, my first reaction was to freak out because of all of the hard partying I had been doing (drinking, smoking, and probably a few hits here and there of a certain illegal crop of the herbal variety ). My doctor told me not to worry about it, and you know what, he was right...My daughter was born full-term and perfectly healthy.
I know it's probably worse for those of us in the medical field, but please try not to freak out too much. You didn't know, and now that you do, you're being more careful. Catching a few episodes of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant may be helpful - those women had no clue until they were in labor, so many of them drank throughout their entire pregnancies.
When my mom got pg with me she went to doc because back then she didn't take at home tests. The doctor tested her and it was negative! So she was worried about the weight she was gaining and started taking Diet Pills!!! A couple months later my dad made her go back to the doc because her stomach looked bigger and not natural. (I was their first). That time the doc said she was 4 months along!
All very reassuring thoughts and stories. I think as Moms we tend to let our imaginations and fears get the best of us. When you are pregnant your instinct quickly bonds you to your new blessing and I have such a fierce defense feeling for all of my girls. I'm always sweet and likable until someone hurts my girls. Lol
Congratulations and what an incredible shock! I looked at some of the research in my first pregnancy, and it does seem like it takes chronic heavy drinking to cause FAS. I know doctors here take the attitude of no alcohol at all because they don't know for certain where the line is because you can't do scientifically controlled experiments on pregnant women. I'm sure everything will be fine, and good luck with a somewhat shorter preparation for welcoming your new daughter!
Congrats! no experience with what you are going through but with my first I had a CT scan when he was probably implanting and he turned out fine... I think sometimes we need to be reminded that we do not control our world... and children do a darn good job of reminding.
I am a complete lurker in here. But thought I would drop in my experience. I am an addictions counselor who used to work with pregnant addicts. And I saw a LOT of craziness in that time. I will openly tell you that alcohol is probably the worst as far as its long-term effects on a fetus (unless you count the case we had of a woman whose baby passed from cocaine-induced labor...it causes abruptions). BUT, in my time working with probably 200+ addicts, we only had two babies born with FAS. One was to a woman that we had to transfer to a more secure facility before birth (she came back after, our program lasted to one year PP), she was extreme to the point of her life being at risk. She drank our hand sanitizer she was so addicted. The other was a milder case, but the mom was a regular drinker of many, many years (she was older and had probably been drinking 5 beers a day for three decades). So, I do, both research-wise and anecdotally believe it takes a lot more than a couple celebratory evenings to actually cause harm to a baby. Drinking was a common affliction of the addicts we got (pot was the most common, harder stuff wasn't as prevalent). And 95+% of them gave birth to completely healthy children. And we are still taking about alcoholics, drinks on a daily basis, binge episodes every single weekend, or both. So it is, apparently, a lot harder to cause FAS than we are led to believe (since scientists can't exactly do a double-blind study on it). They, along with your body, are very resilient, despite their small size. I hope seeing her on a 3D sonogram helps ease your mind! I am de-lurking now
Ok I have to say that was absolutely the most reassuring thing I've heard. It also helps me as a nurse because I too have seen a baby die from heavy cocaine use, she went into labor and baby had crowned before we even had her to labor and delivery. It was probably one of the worst things I have ever medically witnessed. Such a disregard for herself and her life. I understood her disease though, just like I do the alcoholics I see. They are so caught up and unable to rationalize that they do not understand the turmoil they are causing. It's all about being in love with the drug. I also saw this with Oma, it scared me so bad that I have intense anxiety over something like this. She wasn't addicted because of a lack of live for us but because she simply couldn't stop. I worked maternal fetal for 3 years and not once have I seen a true FAS child. I've seen withdrawals and seizures from the mothers use of drugs or alcohol.
I am in the same boat as you as this baby was a shock. There was no way I could get preggo without help so I was like no way. I had enjoyed a few long island iced teas before I had found out. But all scans right now show baby is fine.
Im still in denial a bit though and still trying to adjust to the thought of another.
Popping in from Sept DDC. I am in almost the exact same boat. I found out I was pregnant with this little boy when I was already 17wks along. I also had been on an IUD, had my right ovary removed last year & had to use clomid for 6months to get pregnant with my first 6 years ago. Prior to my son, I only ever had a period 1 MAYBE 2x a year. After is hard to judge because I didn't really have a period on the IUD, though I did get very slight spotting abt once a month.
I had the same symptoms that I had with my first, which was just being exhausted & moody. Nothing else. A couple of times it popped into my head but I dismissed it because there were so many other more likely things causing it. I had lost my job, we were in the middle of trying to find a new place & move. I was pretty much packing & sorting through a 3k sqft house by myself, was feeling depressed, not eating right or exercising like I had been. So around Easter my husband notices my breasts are fuller than usual. So I jokingly say, should I take a pregnancy test? Well, we decided, probably should. I ended up doing 4 of them. first 2 where inconclusive since the control line didn't show. The other 2 were definitely positive. Got in with an OB & he did and ultrasound & measured me at 17 weeks.
I work in medical also & was freaked. I don't smoke & only drink ocassionally, but I did have a couple of girls weekends during that 17weeks where I did drink. I also was more worried about being on 1800mg of Neurontin a day for chronic pain, plus the occasional Percocet or vicodin for extreme episodes.
I am trusting, we had 2 full anatomy scans, the 2nd by my perinatologist & everything looked great, so I am feeling hopeful that all is well. I am getting a 3d scan this Saturday since I will be at 32 weeks.
I am wondering, for me they think my IUD fell out at some point since it was nowhere to be found. What about yours? do they know what happened to it? I was on Mirena BTW.
They were unable to locate mine as well. Although at one ER visit in Dec I know it was there because they felt the strings or she told me she had. My first real clues were movement, pain and exhaustion.
Yea, mine was there when I saw my OB in October. Our first clue was almost movement. If I hadn't taken DH seriously and done the PG test, I felt movement not quite a week later. DH thought that would have been awesome.