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Am I totally crazy??


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  • 1 Post By Cccbb61013
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  #1  
July 11th, 2013, 01:15 PM
Cccbb61013's Avatar Veteran
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So I've been putting of telling this story because I don't want people to think I'm nuts, but it's to the point I have to ask for some opinions on this. I cannot shake the thought that a co-worker is faking her pregnancy. Normally I would just be like whatever & not care about it, but the other week it hit me what some women do when they fake their pregnancies & I'm terrified she is going to harm me & steal my baby. Please tell me I'm nuts here.

I'm a paranoid person in general but this pregnancy has put me over the top. My husband works across the country & for a while I couldn't sleep at night because I was worried he would have an affair (have never worried about it before & he gives me no reason to worry). Now I'm worried he's going to be hurt on the job or his plane is going to crash on the way home or there. I'm also worried I'm going to get us killed in a crash to/from the airport in the insane traffic. So pregnancy paranoia to say the least.

Anyway, I have this coworker who is a liar. I have no proof she is a liar, but I know her type. I have a hard time believing anything that comes out of her mouth. From all her illnesses (cancer, sinus problems, blood problems, skin problems, lung problems, almost every time she has to work it's another sickness problem). Me pinpointing her type is not a paranoid thing. I had her number from day #1 but it didn't directly effect me so I didn't care.

One thing I did know to be true was she desperately wanted a baby. She couldn't get pregnant because of her health problems (I don't know if that's true or not). Her & her boyfriend were supposedly trying for 5 years. Well 3 of us got pregnant at my office & a few weeks after I announced mine (at 12 weeks). She found out she was. At a later date she told me she found out at 2 weeks, which we all know isn't possible, but could be chalked up to her confusing 4 weeks for 2 which a lot of women do. I've had my doubts since I've heard & waited for the inevitable fake miscarriage to happen. She did have two episodes of bleeding (on days she had to work) & went to the ER & says she was told she had a low lying placenta. Which is certainly possible.

I find it strange after 5 years of trying, you get pregnant when 3 of your coworkers are.

She did take a pregnancy test at work though & showed a coworker the test. So that's a plus, but I then read you can buy fake ones online.

There are two offices that you can go to around here for prenatal care & when I asked her who she was going to, she said her doctor is handling it. That sent up a red flag. Especially if she's high risk because of her medical conditions. I'm certain the pregnancy doctors around here would send her to a larger hospital for specialty care. I can't imagine a primary office would touch it. Ive never even heard of anybody around here staying with their primary doctor. But my Mom did tell me our primary office used to handle pregnancies.

She was expecting a jan due date but got a mid dec due date. No biggie there if her periods arent regular. But every time I ask her how far along she is she says "um like 4 months" or "like 4.5 months". When I ask her how many weeks she doesn't know. She says she's not good at math. In my experience, most pregnant women always know the weeks, it's the months we have trouble figuring out!

She has not brought in one ultrasound pic. Either have I, but it's not my first & I haven't tried for 5 years. With my first who took a year to conceive, I always took pics in. Never mentioned anything about the tests they can do at 12 weeks or even being offered them. But again, one of the obgyns around here does not do an ultrasound until 20 weeks if you don't do the 12 week test. So I asked her yesterday if she had any cute us pics to bring in. She told me she always has her ultrasounds at the er because of problems & they never give her any. Which leads me to my next one....

We have a Doppler at work & I always tell her we should try it. She refuses & says the doctor can never find the heart beat so they always have to bring in a portable ultrasound. 2 things....a) so then she obviously had other ultrasounds b) she's between 16-18 weeks now. The doctors can never find my babies heart beat either because of my tilted uterus, but that's up to like 12 weeks. At 16-18, they have to be able to find it or at least hear it moving.

She said she didn't care about the sex. But now, 3 of us are having boys & now she just wants a boy.

She was talking about some hormone level being high to another coworker & said her dr thought she was pregnant with twins & lost one. I told her that happened to me & she totally ignored me. Had that been me, I probably would've asked some questions about it.

She is starting to ask me a lot of questions about pregnancy & baby gear

She told us she bought a bunch of stuff at a yard sale for the baby, I didn't believe her (because the story was the lady wanted so much $ & she got her down a ton of $ & got more things thrown in. It was an obvious lie. & that's what I mean, she lies over stuff there is really no point to lie about), but I saw it in the back of the car. So even though I still think the story was a lie, she did buy a bunch of baby gear. But now it's been back there for weeks. Almost like she wants people to see it.

She has been looking at day cares, baby stuff, etc. at work, but she also has a nephew who's only a few months old & she adores & is very involved in his care.

I'm the lucky one who is due closest to her, is having a boy & joy....live a few blocks away. One of our coworkers is buying a house near us & I told her where I think it is & the other day she told me she was looking for it & that I probably thought she was a stalker because she rode by my house 100 times. Now today when I was in the backyard I'm pretty sure I saw her riding by again.

She knows my husband works out of town for long periods of time & that it will just be me, my 4 year old & a newborn home alone after he comes. I also made the mistake of saying I don't own a gun (she's a big outdoorsman with tons of weapons) in front of her.

We never really talked much but recently she has been sooo nice to me & we have been getting along great. I'm hoping its because she found out I'm not as close to a coworker she dislikes as she thought i was rather than she wants to get close to me for other reasons.

She does look like she's starting to show, but she's also a bigger girl. Plus, faking a pregnant belly in the baggy clothes she wears would not be hard.


Sorry so long. I just had to get it out. If anybody manages to get through the whole thing, please tell me I'm nuts. It's really starting to bother me! All I want is to see a real pregnant belly or an ultrasound pic with her name on it so I can stop freaking out!
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  #2  
July 12th, 2013, 04:07 AM
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First, I don't think you're nuts. It's a lot of red flags and I'd probably be a bit paranoid as well. I always get nervous during the last trimester about the scenario you're talking about.

Also in normal conditions its scary to be alone without dh. But the cheating thing is IMO a normal pregnancy fear. A month ago my dh and his co-workers took a visiting group from England out to a local bar. I have no idea why but by the time he got home my imagination was out of control and he thought I was crazy.

It's probably good for you to type all that out because part of what makes you feel nuts is having it all swim around in your head. One thing you could do is get a 4D u/s done of his face, frame it and have it at work. All my family and friends agree that mine looks just like my other kids, especially my 3 yr old. We all feel like we've kinds met him. It might make you feel more in control. Almost like sending the message to her that everyone knows what your baby looks like so she can't pass it off as her own.

It's sad if she's faking
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  #3  
July 12th, 2013, 04:53 AM
fludderbye's Avatar Super Mommy
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{{hugs}}

Being Pregnant & alone sucks- & def makes our head fill up sometimes

happens to me - I trust my DH 100% but yea i start to find my self thinking crazy things that I know ARE NOT TRUE LOL

Keep yourself safe-
Keep her at a distance- always carry your cell phone- and keep something in every room that you can use for self defense-

dont give her any more information then she already has- personal stuff about you or baby or family-

if your gut is telling you not to trust her- DONT !
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  #4  
July 12th, 2013, 05:33 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree, it is better to be safe than sorry. If it does turn out that she is pregnant and not lying, then you aren't losing anything. If she is nuts and wants your baby then you can be better protected.
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  #5  
July 12th, 2013, 06:44 AM
jennyrae03's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree with these ladies - better to be safe than sorry. Like stated above, keep a phone on you at all times, keep things handy for self defense, and keep your doors/windows locked! If you are going somewhere, tell somebody - even if it is just to the gas station. God forbid something should actually happen, and nobody knows to check on you, you know?

I am a naturally suspicious person, and the pregnancy paranoia doesn't help at all. But I do think this lady sounds a little fishy. Completely full of it? Maybe not - but definitely strange.
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  #6  
July 12th, 2013, 07:15 AM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
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I have had some unhinged coworkers in the past (like always having the dramatic thing happen to them! amazing how that happens! yeah.) but never one that I thought would steal a baby. Though maybe I am naive - I guess that does happen. Either way she sounds like she's just too much to handle, drama and personality-wise - I would stop talking to her in detail, never give her any personal information. If you start to pull back on that relationship naturally and she starts to be more aggressive, then I'd actually start to worry. Has anyone else in the office voiced these kinds of fears? Or suspicions about her character? Offices have gossip so if she's giving you vibes, you are likely not the only one and could probably find out quickly where things stand.
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  #7  
July 12th, 2013, 08:06 AM
Wren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think it is extremely unlikely she would actually go through with stealing a baby, but as a mother it is normal to worry about that with all the red flags she is giving. Definitely keep your eye out for her in your neighborhood, and have your neighbors keep an eye out. Will your husband be able to be around more for the first couple months? Could you stay with your parents for part of your maternity leave? Hopefully by the time you give birth you will have evidence one way or the other and she will be showing more. You can also take the precaution of telling the maternity ward specifically not to let her visit or let her know you are a patient. I know the hospitals I have been at are very good at that.
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  #8  
July 12th, 2013, 08:39 AM
Cccbb61013's Avatar Veteran
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Thanks ladies. I know the baby stealing is far fetched so I am hoping for some clear cut signs by October. Her faking her pregnancy is not that unbelievable with her personality. Nobody in the office has voiced concerns about the pregnancy (except a coworker who hates her said it's totally possible & to watch myself when I voiced my concerns to her), however I have had a couple of them make snide comments about her illnesses, obviously meaning they didn't believe her. One thing I just thought of is that I think I'm going to ask her if she turned in her FMLA paperwork yet right in front of my boss. She printed it off months ago so it would have to be done now. She won't be able to lie that she did if the boss is there. & if she did, I can breathe easier.

But no, my husband won't be home with me during my leave. I'm going to lie & tell her he's taking 3 months off though. Thank you for all the advice!
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  #9  
July 12th, 2013, 08:47 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't know about where you live, but I was told that I can turn my paperwork in anywhere up to 2 weeks before the baby is born. I had a meeting with our Health Services Rep yesterday and she told me I can get the paperwork at any time, but not to turn it in until 2 weeks to a month before my EDD, unless I start having problems and think I may have to take an early leave.
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  #10  
July 12th, 2013, 12:23 PM
MrsPea's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I had a roommate once that was a pathological liar, and always had to one up you to the point where he faked cancer. It was weird but never harmful. Sounds like she might have the same pathological need to lie and one up people, but I doubt she'll go to the extreme of stealing your baby. However, you should ease your own doubts & fears and stay away from her!
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  #11  
July 12th, 2013, 01:48 PM
ILoveStorm2011's Avatar Mack :)
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Can your mom or someone stay with you until your DH gets back after baby is born? Just having someone around the house to help might help you feel safer
And I agree with letting people know where you are. When I had to drive 13 hrs by myself I let Dh know every stop I made just in case something happened and I called my father a lot and let him know where I was.
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  #12  
July 12th, 2013, 02:26 PM
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I agree that things with this coworker do sound fishy. It is sometimes hard to read people that lie all the time but like others said it is better to be safe than sorry. I think there is a good possibility that if she is faking it, it is all for attention though. I have an ex sister in law that sounds very similar. She was always sick, and if someone else had something you can bet she would supposedly catch it to. Her Facebook news feed is all about how she hopes her blood test comes out ok, she just wants to feel better, why is she so sick all the time, etc. It is like one big pity party. When she was pregnant, every time her and her husband had people over she would go into fake labor and be rushed to the hospital, only to return home in a few hours. I think she just wanted to fit in and get attention but it just made people dislike her more.

I hope this situation turns out to be nothing for your sake, but it wouldn't hurt to invest in a baseball bat for every room just in case!
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  #13  
July 12th, 2013, 04:51 PM
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I think she sounds like a nut job, not you! I've thought of those same types of things though when I am pregnant or have a newborn. Like I don't want to put the stork sign in the yard because I don't want a crazy person to steal my baby. Or the last pregnancy I was sitting in the car at the grocery a couple of weeks before I was due and someone came up to ask me about the car.... I thought it was wierd and rolled up my window and locked the doors..

I would keep her at a distance, and maybe spread a couple of rumors that you have someone coming to stay with you after having the baby, or that you got a dog or whatever. Maybe that when he is born that he has a very unique birthmark somewhere so she would think that if she was crazy enough to do something stupid, she'd get caught. Keep your distance and don't feed her fuel for anything real...just in case.
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  #14  
July 16th, 2013, 09:37 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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again, better to be safe than sorry.

This is by far not my first, but even with all my pregnancies, if someone asks how far along I am, I tell them how many weeks, if you ask me what it is in months, I honestly have to do the math. Cuz when you call the doc with a concern they ask how many weeks.
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  #15  
July 16th, 2013, 10:29 AM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I knew someone once who was a pathological liar... she would lie about EVERYTHING, even the dumbest things that didn't matter AT ALL. She always got caught up in her lies because she couldn't keep her story straight. But she was never dangerous or anything. I think that there is a big difference between an attention-seeking pathological liar and someone who will go as far as stealing a baby. BUT, with that said, it's always better to be safe than sorry. I doubt this coworker really would steal a baby, but you certainly don't want to find out for sure! Keep her at a distance, and maybe keep pushing her to see if you can get verification for her pregnancy story. At SOME point she should start showing, right?
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  #16  
July 16th, 2013, 02:05 PM
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Yikes I would gently start distancing myself from her. She definitely sounds like a pathological liar. I like the idea of spreading a rumor that someone is coming to stay with you etc. I hope you get some confirmation of her pregnancy so that you no longer have to worry abt it. But there does seem to be too many redflags in her story...
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