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I know nothing about babies.


Forum: October 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By east to west coast
  • 1 Post By curlimama05
  • 1 Post By SierraWinter

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  #1  
July 29th, 2013, 08:50 PM
ILoveStorm2011's Avatar Mack :)
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,361
I know nothing about babies. At all. Other than they eat, poop, cry, the gotta be fed a lot? No alcohol for then for a while...
I was not raised around babies - hell I dont think I've held younger than a year old in over a year and that was for like 10 minutes.
Is any other FTM freaked out by having your own or am I alone? And BTDT scared at first?
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  #2  
July 29th, 2013, 08:58 PM
Cccbb61013's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 491
Just have the Internet & a few good books handy like what to expect the first year & the one by the American academy of pediatrics. It may sound lame, but as a mom it will just come naturally. Yeah, you'll make mistakes, but everyone does. Those books really come in handy. My son is 4 & I don't remember hardly anything so don't worry!
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  #3  
July 29th, 2013, 09:09 PM
Wanta.number2's Avatar Hi, I'm Tiffani!
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,260
I agree completely with Ccc, there is so much that will come naturally! Please feel free to come here with any questions too, with my first, some of the ladies in my Playroom were so, so helpful.
Just soak up what you can, but remember that every baby is different, so go with the flow. You will learn a lot just from your baby!
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  #4  
July 30th, 2013, 03:02 AM
Julie
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 3,079
I wasn't scared when I was a ftm, but once she was born I was constantly worrried something would go wrong, like she would get sick or die in her sleep or so ething, but it did get better. ask for help from the nurses at the hospital. At least where I live, they expect to be asked for diaper change demonstrations and baby bath demos. This is just another one of those things that you will have to practice at and will get into a comfortable routine after awhile.
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  #5  
July 30th, 2013, 03:29 AM
sweety_pie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,765
I agree it will just come naturally, I was 19 when I had my first and had NO CLUE, but I did fine! lol
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  #6  
July 30th, 2013, 04:03 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was scared to death when I had my first baby. I had never really been around babies or kids either. It will come to you and you will make mistakes, but just try not to be too hard on yourself when you do.
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  #7  
July 30th, 2013, 04:52 AM
fludderbye's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 501
the first night home for me was the worst- was BF DD and had a panic attack- woke DH up and said bawling- " just tell me i am going to be a good mom- Just tell me that"- he held me and told me many times how I was a great mom-

poop hapens like others said- babies are very flexible and bendy when little- follow your gut- if your not sure ASK !! we are here for you !!!

and remember- one day at a time sometimes is one hour one minute at a time- what ever happens- it will pass-
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  #8  
July 30th, 2013, 06:32 AM
MrsPea's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm at that age where all of my friends are becoming parents or having their second child, so I'm trying to schedule more time with them and their babes. They all seemed to pick it up naturally so that helps ease my fears a bit. I'm also reading a few books about baby's development in the first few years and a more basic guide to baby's first year, etc. Anything to help me feel a little more prepared.
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  #9  
July 30th, 2013, 07:39 AM
east to west coast's Avatar ~Melissa~
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,003
A lot of it will come naturally. And, rest assured that even us BTDT moms and FTM who do have a lot of baby experience will be completely clueless about a lot of stuff. The old saying that they don't come with instruction manuals is, unfortunately, true. My daughter's DDC (now PR) was an amazing resource for me, and still is.
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  #10  
July 30th, 2013, 08:36 AM
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Location: Iowa
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This is my 3rd time around and newborns still make me nervous! lol

But the good thing is, once they're clean and swaddled, there's not much that a boob cant fix. You'll be fine, and just take cues from your baby.
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  #11  
July 30th, 2013, 09:30 AM
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What's neat is you have no idea what kind of mother you will be at this point. Everything I expected with my first was chucked out the window when I brought him home. I am not a natural with newborns. But guess what? You might totally rock at it!!!

I think the fear you feel will help you succeed. You will be more willing to be open to accept advice and won't be set in your ways. Babies (and kids) are not like electronics...there is no manual telling you exactly which buttons to push
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  #12  
July 30th, 2013, 09:49 AM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Twin Cities, MN
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I think that fear is totally normal. Before DS, I was not a baby person AT ALL. I barely ever held babies, never changed a diaper, don't remember ever feeding a baby... so basically zero experience with babies. You learn on the job. And make tons of mistakes along the way. Even now that he's 5, I'm amazed by how little I know about parenting. I sort of always thought that parents somehow instinctively KNEW what they were doing, but I was wrong... it's all a big guessing game, and as soon as you start to figure it out, the kid changes it up on you again. So don't feel like you need to know everything--or anything--about raising a child. As long as you love the child and pay attention to its needs, you will figure the rest out.

(oh, and I NEVER could interpret my baby's cries... that's one of those skills that never came to me. So when baby cries, I just try everything... check the diaper, shove a boob in its mouth, then swaddle and rock it for a while... there's no magic baby translator, even though some people say they can read their child's cries)
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  #13  
July 30th, 2013, 10:10 AM
SierraWinter's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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If you have any doubts about taking care of a baby go to WalMart and hang out for 30 minutes, if some of those folks can procreate and raise babies without killing them, you'll do a fabulous job

In all seriousness, one of my SIL's had never held a baby till our wedding, she was pretty scared of babies. She and my brother had a baby last summer, it took her a couple of weeks to give their newborn a bath, she was so afraid she would hurt him. After a few weeks she got in the swing of things and now they have baby #2 on the way!
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  #14  
July 30th, 2013, 12:04 PM
Jackie1122's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 396
When I had my first child about 4 years ago, I felt just like you! My husband had a few nieces and nephews so he had been around babies a little but I never had. I literally couldn't remember even holding a newborn and had never changed a diaper in my life! Neither of us felt like we knew what we were getting into so we enrolled in a childbirth/parenting class. We learned swaddling, diapering, burping, different holds, etc. I also took a breastfeeding class. I think both of these helped us to feel prepared, but we were still nervous.

I know everyone is going to tell you this but it really does come naturally and much of it is common sense. If your baby is crying, you will want to pick it up and figure out what is wrong! It might be a process of elimination at first (are they hungry, wet, cold, etc??) but once you get to know your baby more you will have a better idea of what they might need. The hospital is also very helpful. They went over bathing, diapering, cord care, swaddling, and even strapping him into the carseat before we were released.
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  #15  
July 31st, 2013, 12:51 AM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
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Location: Freaking Louisiana
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It's alright. You don't really need to know much at first. Change and feed them every 3 hours or so. Let them sleep a lot. They'll do more as you learn more.

I'd taken care of a lot of babies, but the only thing I didn't know how to deal with was a sick child. Parents normally kept their sick babies at home. Both of mine ended up in the hospital for a week between 1-2 months old. DD1 for a random fever that disappeared an hour later, never came back. DD2 for reflux, the silent kind that made her stop breathing. =P Hoping this one doesn't end up in the hospital. DH can't afford to miss work while I'm there with baby.
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  #16  
July 31st, 2013, 06:48 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,167
I agree with the others, you will get into the groove, for real. Take it one day at a time, try and relax as much as possible because baby can sense the stress and get all worked up themselves. For a while, all they really do is sleep/eat/poop so you are on the right track there!

And don't be afraid to ask for help/support if you have any available to you. My mom came and stayed with me for a few days and that helped to ease me into the parenthood thing. Once she left I still called her all the time to ask dumb questions, but it was reassuring to hear that I was doing a good job and everything was fine.
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  #17  
July 31st, 2013, 08:58 AM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,110
Quote:
Originally Posted by curlimama05 View Post
This is my 3rd time around and newborns still make me nervous! lol

But the good thing is, once they're clean and swaddled, there's not much that a boob cant fix. You'll be fine, and just take cues from your baby.
lol! This goes for their daddies, too. I honestly had this same thought yesterday - that if DS was anything like DH, I'd know how to keep the cries reasonable out in public as long as I wore a flexible enough shirt or a scarf. Dudes love boobs.
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