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What are you scared of?


Forum: October 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By allysmomma
  • 1 Post By Lemon
  • 1 Post By drewbears
  • 1 Post By SierraWinter
  • 2 Post By Spyctre
  • 2 Post By FishermansWife4
  • 1 Post By Irshtripletsmommy
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  #1  
August 24th, 2013, 04:38 PM
jennyrae03's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Iowa
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As a first time mom, there are a few things that worry me, or that I'm scared I will mess up.

For example, I'm worried that I don't know enough about breastfeeding (okay okay, I know it can't be THAT hard - insert boob and let them eat, yes?). But there are all these fancy terms that I'm not familiar with {letdown??}, a bunch of stuff I have to buy {lanolin cream, nipple shields, nursing bras, ect}...it seems like I need some sort of degree to get it right! And what if actually breastfeeding doesn't work for me, or I don't like doing it...then I have to worry about pumping, and storing milk, and OMGTHEREISSOMUCHTOTHINKABOUT!

I think this is my biggest worry right now. Hopefully I'll get some useful information in my breastfeeding class in a couple weeks.

What about you ladies? Anything in particular worrying you in regards to the new baby?
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  #2  
August 24th, 2013, 05:09 PM
allysmomma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I had issues with my first and BFing, but honestly, she wasn't getting enough to eat for like the first week and a half, even though I was feeding her 24/7, so we were not sleeping and i finally had to substitute formula and she got at least one serving of breastmilk a day for several months. I felt like a horrible mom b/c I couldn't produce enough milk for my baby, but literally, after giving her her first bottle of formula, she slept, for more than 30 mins, it was like 4 hours and it was some relief to me and DH. You hear all of this talk about how bad formula is and so on, but when it came down to it, it was a life saver for us and our DD. I'm not telling you this to scare you, just giving you some insight on bfing. It went much smoother the second go around. If you try and try and nothing works, don't feel bad, sometimes it just happens that way. I wish you all the best of luck in this department, I hope it goes smoother for you than it did for me!!
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  #3  
August 24th, 2013, 06:29 PM
Lemon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I worry about not sleeping, and dealing with the big kids.
I worry about having to be on the go all the time for my other kids and how the newborn will do.

I'm hoping to find my zen spot and just enjoy the baby, my big kids and be a chill mom...
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  #4  
August 24th, 2013, 07:10 PM
ILoveStorm2011's Avatar Mack :)
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SIDs, Bfing, holding a baby...haha
Pretty much everything, but I've never really been around a newborn that much!
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  #5  
August 24th, 2013, 07:30 PM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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First off, do not stress about nursing right now. While it is a very natural thing, it is also something that mom and baby both need to learn. Do not be afraid to ask help!!!!

As for what am I afraid of...... im afraid of just how this baby will fit into our schedule and how Sophie will react. It is stressing me out a TON!
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  #6  
August 24th, 2013, 07:42 PM
SierraWinter's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When I read the title the first thing that came to mind was spiders. I can't stand spiders

On being a mom, I'd have to say I'm most worried about breastfeeding taking.
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  #7  
August 24th, 2013, 08:09 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
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lol I clicked on this expecting to answer dolls and clowns!

I like my sleep, but I'm actually not too worried about it this go. My fears are later on fears. Someone tried to abduct my oldest about a year ago. I worry about that. Baby stuff not so much.

Breastfeeding is very easy if everything goes well. It's uncommon, but sometimes baby is tongue-tied or just doesn't nurse well for some reason. Sometimes the mother doesn't produce milk. These are like 10% of the time so there is a 90% chance you will be fine. Pop the boobie in, baby does the rest!

Allysmomma similarly describes what my sister went through with her second. First one, breastfeeding is a piece of cake. Second child had a problem. The nurses kept telling her that formula is evil, and her daughter was losing so much weight and constantly crying. The lactation consultant was the one that convinced her to go with formula. Sometimes it just happens that way. It's not the end of the world, but I know it may be disappointing.


I want to say you are free to ask me any questions about nursing, but I only know the basic boob and baby part. I've never needed nipple cream, and pumps do a lousy job trying to get milk out in my case. Baby is pretty attached to me for the first 6 months. I never really had any problems.

I did have to teach DD2 to nurse. DD1 did it perfectly from the start. She did all of her milestones perfectly from the start. DD2 had to learn everything. It seemed to take her over a month to get the latch perfectly on the first try every time. Sometimes you may have to break the latch and try again.

Letdown is kind of like when your bladder empties. You can't control it like your bladder, it's involuntary. Both of your breasts will normally release the muscle holding that milk in at the same time, usually a few seconds after baby starts to nurse. Some ladies will put their fingers over the unused nipple to stop the milk from coming, but you can stick a bottle under there to catch everything that comes out. Or even pump. The only time I could get milk was when I was nursing on the other side.

Some ladies need the nipple cream, but I never did use it. I just popped the boob out and stuffed it back in my regular bra. Nipples got cleaned during my bath. Didn't like nursing bras as much. Most women I know start with a sports bra that opens in front. More comfy.
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  #8  
August 24th, 2013, 08:29 PM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm worried about sids and my c-section. I'm pretty cool with everything else. I'm confident in my abilities to make time for everyone. I know the baby stage won't last for ever. I've faced the fact I may need medication for post partum. I think I'm going to be okay. Now the kiddos on the other hand, I worry if they'll all get along. I worry if they'll try to pick Susan up. I worry about jealousy. I worry about them leaving tiny toys around later and Susan potentially picking them up and choking. Ugh.

Breast feeding is a beautiful thing but it's not something every mother and child can do. It takes practice, patience and time. Please don't beat yourself up if it takes you awhile to get the hang of it. Please don't think you've failed if you and baby just don't get it. Every mom and child are different. Not every mom and child can do it. If you're willing and wanting to try it just know you gave or give it your best shot. That's all any mom who wants to do it can do.
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  #9  
August 24th, 2013, 09:43 PM
east to west coast's Avatar ~Melissa~
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I just worry about having to acclimate to the lack of sleep again. I really struggled with that last time, and never fully felt like myself until after my daughter was a year old. But, she was a really crappy sleeper, so here's hoping this baby is a little bit better!

As far as labor and the birth, the only thing that concerns me is the possibility of a c-section.
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  #10  
August 25th, 2013, 04:23 AM
Julie
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Don't worry so much about bfing. Sometimes I feel like babies are like bees or dogs and they can smell fear. If you approach it anxiously and unsettled, sometimes they sense it and can't relax either. Ok, so maybe I just think it's funny to think that babies can smell fear lol...but seriously, I do think they somewhat sense outr tension and it may affect the bfing experience. I think you will give birth, be overjoyed and start skin to skin, then simply put baby to breast and see if he is hungry. if not, try again a little later after he gets over being born. Nipple shields are not necessary unless you have flat nipples. I think you will learn alot of information from your class, but the actual physical part of bfing you have to just do to get it of course. I think you will do great
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  #11  
August 25th, 2013, 05:16 AM
mama2ladybugs's Avatar Super Mommy
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I'm worried about the birth....I'm terrified of the hospital I'm supposed to deliver in and I can't even pin point the reason, I just know I don't feel comfortable there, but I feel like I'm way too far along to switch drs now. I'm afraid that my daughter will end up in the NICU like Athena did and that I will have to live through that hell again.
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  #12  
August 25th, 2013, 06:41 AM
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I'm just worried about how the whole adjustment process is going to go. I know it's going to be sooo different having 2. I have to get used to getting minimal sleep all over again and then being up all day with my older son. I know it's going to be tough.

Also, labor. Sounds silly because I've been through it before but I can't say I'm totally excited to go through it again. It hurts...lol. Right after DS came out last time (well, after I saw him and they were cleaning him up etc) I grabbed DH's arm dead serious and said "NEVER let me do that again". I am hoping to get an epidural this time.
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  #13  
August 25th, 2013, 07:57 AM
CountryMedic911's Avatar Kerana mama to be in 2013
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Location: Fort Bragg NC
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Honestly everything lately...afraid I won't have what he needs, afraid of labour what if I can't handle it, afraid of not being able to take care of him. Pretty much everything right now I just hope these fears go away
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  #14  
August 25th, 2013, 08:12 AM
slmehaffey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Nothing..... yup I'm not worried about anything. How cool is that? I know you probably feel a bit jealous, but to be honest I just have this peace about things this time, and even though I've thought about the things that could go wrong and feel capable of dealing with them and getting through it all.

As for breastfeeding, you should know that it is a learning process no mater what number baby you are on. 1st baby was AWESOME, we never had a single issue 2nd baby not so much, she had a lip tie no one noticed, didn't gain weight for 2.5 months and I ended up pumping for another 7 months to try giving her the breastmilk even if she couldn't take it directly from me. but that was extremely stressful and I hated it, and couldnt' produce enough for her that way so we still suplimented.
My best advice is to have a boppy or other nursing pillow and don't buy a single other thing... most likely the hospital will have lanolin if you need it, but if you don't need it it is a waste of money to buy a tube, I used the same tube for both of my kids and still had some left. I bought a small pack of nursing pads, and never needed them... I'm one of the lucky ones who just doesn't leak... again it was wasted money. Don't buy the nursing 'stuff' unless you need it, and if you need it you'll have time to get it or send someone to get it. Also, nursing shields should be avoided unless they ABSOLUTELY need to be used.. 1. they are at minimum annoying, and maximum they will prevent successful breastfeeding... they like many other things have their place, but unless they are needed don't waste your money, and again, if they are needed the hospital will have them.
If your hospital has a lactation consultant then use them, regardless of how well things seem to be going, and unless your hospital is a Baby friendly hospital (meaning they don't offer formula incentives, everyone is trained in breast feeding help and several other things) then I'd ignore the advice of a regular nurse (some are great, others will discourage you and give you wrong advice).
Can you tell I'm a bit passionate about this stuff?
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  #15  
August 25th, 2013, 12:27 PM
Leah
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,877
Hmmm, a few things I guess....
I'm vainly scared about the aftermath of labor and its effect on my hoo-ha. I've had people tell me no it goes back and I've had others say oh it was different. I like my parts how they are/were.

I'm scared about childcare down the road. I don't believe that being a stay at home mom is a possibility at this time, and I'm not sure I'd want to totally. But I worry about him being in a daycare and being neglected. I'm hoping that I won't have to go that route when it's time to go back to the office.

I'm worried about my body's reaction to labor. I have existing back stuff and a high heart rate, so I'm a bit scared of one of those becoming an issue.

I'm more worried than scared about PPD. Well, I'm scared about the effect it could potentially have on people around me. I don't want to mess up my job or relationship because I'm in the midst and not caring. Hopefully SO will be educated enough to recognize if I'm not able to myself.
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  #16  
August 25th, 2013, 02:14 PM
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Honestly I am worried about handling two young children. DD can be a handful, it exhausts the two of us at times! It stresses me out thinking about that first trip to the store by myself, or really anywhere I may have to go out and about alone with 2 kids! I am also worried about DD getting jealous, and her feelings after baby gets here. I don't want her to feel left out or anything like that.
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  #17  
August 25th, 2013, 03:42 PM
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First, I BF all of mine, but only had trouble with the youngest. It took a couple of lactation consultants til one actually saw the problem was he was tongue tied. The ped missed this too and told me it was just me. I took him to the ENT, they clipped the tongue and he nursed til18 months.

I am nervous because my youngest is 2 and I worry about how he will be around the baby. I am also nervous about how much our daycare bill is going to be.
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  #18  
August 26th, 2013, 10:45 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My middle son is very clingy, needy and it is hard on him to even have one little sibling. I am scared of the toll it is going to take on him for me to have to give so much attention to Sophia. I hope that it all goes well and smoothly and that he doesn't feel left out.
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