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Forum: October 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By jamieshalon2
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  • 1 Post By ILoveStorm2011
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  #1  
September 9th, 2013, 07:47 AM
MrsPea's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Somerville, MA
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So DH & I are thinking about putting our city townhouse on the market next spring/summer and moving to a larger house with a yard, etc. We'd like this next house to be our "forever" home where we raise our kids and live for the next 30 + years.

We found a picturesque town just over the boarder in NH thats very rural, lots of pastures and farms and woods, where we can afford a very nice 4 bedroom home. The school system there is one of the best in the country, and this town is next to a city of 90,000 so every big box store/ restaurant you can think of is right next door. Going north into NH puts us closer to my parents and the same distance we are now from his parents, but means closer to an hour long commute for DH which is 20-45 minutes now.

My question is for you ladies that live in the country now. How do you like rural living? Is it isolating or do you have more of a community?

Anyone else have any insight on city vs. suburban vs. rural living?

Thanks!
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  #2  
September 9th, 2013, 07:54 AM
Julie
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY
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I live in the suburbs, so it's not the middle of nowhere, but where we want to move to is farther into the less populated areas. One thing I can give you advice about: if you come across a house you like that has an oil tank buried in the yard, run as fast as you can in the other direction, unless you are sure the homeowners are going to take full responsibility for it, meaning pay to remove it. I am not sure about other states, but in NJ and NY alot of homes in rural areas have buried oil tanks either in or out of service. They can be a huge liability if left in the ground.
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  #3  
September 9th, 2013, 08:23 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't think I have ever really lived in a City per say. They call the area near me the City of Charlottesville, but I would never compare it to something like NY or Boston.
I live in the Suburbs of the city of Charlottesville. It is pretty rural. We have tractors driving by my house a few times a day on any given day.
to be honest, I love it. I wouldn't live anywhere else. I love the fresh air, the abundance of grass, the room for the kids to ride bikes, play tag, etc.

I lived in Virginia Beach for a little while and I didn't like that too much. Too congested for me.
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  #4  
September 9th, 2013, 09:09 AM
Wren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I currently live right on the NH/VT border. Previously we lived in rural Maine for a few years. I grew up in the suburbs outside of Boston, but lived in cities from age 18-30. I definitely miss the city, but I work from home and find it a bit isolating. My experience in this town vs. the Maine town has been a little different. Because this town serves an "elite" college and hospital, it has a lot of people from around the country and world and has a fairly big transitional population. The town in Maine had a much larger population of people who had never left the area and had all the same friends since high school. Nothing that made them less cool people, but for an outsider moving in, it was much harder to meet people, whereas here there are lots of people looking for new friends. Also, our current area is wealthier and has a lot of activities (museums, playgroups, music classes, etc.) geared towards children and a lot of opportunities to meet other mothers. The down side of the wealthy area is that we can only afford a tiny house and most people have more money than we do and there is a little bit of a feeling that your toddler should be enrolled in lots of silly things.

Where you live within the town can make a big difference too. Both our towns are similarly sized, but we lived more "in-town" in Maine, and could walk to the library and the small downtown. Here we are several miles out a dirt road and have to drive everywhere. I'm someone who likes to see people out and about, so I do miss that.

When I go to visit my SIL in New York, I am jealous of all the cool things near her, but I definitely realize I have gotten spoiled having a nice yard for our kid and dog, and it never takes more than 20 minutes to get anywhere and I don't have to climb 4 flights of stairs with groceries and a stroller. It is great have a yard and a stream and apple trees where my daughter can explore. I think it is a good stage in life to be in a more rural area.
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  #5  
September 9th, 2013, 09:31 AM
ILoveStorm2011's Avatar Mack :)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamieshalon2 View Post
I don't think I have ever really lived in a City per say. They call the area near me the City of Charlottesville, but I would never compare it to something like NY or Boston.
I live in the Suburbs of the city of Charlottesville. It is pretty rural. We have tractors driving by my house a few times a day on any given day.
I consider Charolettesville country/suburbs. I live in Northern VA so maybe my views of country/city/suburbs are completely screwed up, but I do like the suburbs a lot more. There's things to do, nice restaurants, but it's not empty. DH grew up in what I really consider the country (to me) and there's nothing to do unless you drive an hour easy, even a nice restaurant.
I think as long as you're within an hour of some city it's fine. In TN we're an hour away from Nashville and so it's nice to go there once in a while, see a museum or zoo. Same here close (far) to DC and close to an amusement park so it's not that bad if you want a day trip.
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  #6  
September 9th, 2013, 09:44 AM
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I am about an hour and a half from DC and Richmond. I don't really ever go to either though, lol. I live 30 minutes North of Charlottesville.
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  #7  
September 9th, 2013, 10:26 AM
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Career choices are another important consideration. It doesn't sound like you are moving that much further away from civilization, but if you go truly rural you have to think if there are other reasonable options if you or your husband want to switch jobs / start working.
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  #8  
September 9th, 2013, 11:11 AM
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Thanks for all your input! This area has a lot of Mass transplants because it is right on the border, it's right next to Nashua, NH which is also close to Concord, Manchester, and it'd be an easy bus ride to take a day trip to Boston with the kids.

My husband is in the tech industry and this area has a lot of tech companies. He's been at his company for 12 years though and will probably be a lifer there.
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  #9  
September 9th, 2013, 11:33 AM
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I grew up in NH- Exeter to be exact (which is on the seacoast, close to Portsmouth) and it is a WONDERFUL place to live. Taxes are relatively low, the schools are great, it's clean and beautiful and great if you are outdoorsy at all. It does get freezing and it snows a lot but you get used to it.

We live right outside of Hartford CT now. The only reason we moved (2+ years ago) is because my Mom remarried and moved down here and we missed her/need the help. DH's parents/whole family is still in NH but neither of his parents are willing or able to help us much. My mom babysits, etc so we need her. CT isn't terrible but it's WAY more populated than NH and more expensive too. We rent a townhouse now (with a yard) but we do plan on buying a house back in NH eventually when we can afford it. We both miss home.

Anyway yeah it's more rural which can be a good thing depending on what you like. And jobs are way more scarce up there but it sounds like he already has a job he can commute to, it will just be longer. The traffic isn't too terrible but it depends on what town you are looking at.
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  #10  
September 9th, 2013, 04:45 PM
Laurenj915's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We are in a similar situation. We lived in a condo in an area I would consider city/suburban for most of our lives. About a month ago we moved to a more rural area about an hour from our home town. The schools are much better and we have a huge lot. It is an adjustment though. There is no Target, Old Navy, or Whole Foods but those things are just a 30-40 minute drive.

I have joined a stay at home mom meetup group in the area to meet other people. So far so good. I have library story time or a toddler meetup 3 -4 days a week.

We moved into a fixer upper farm type house so that is the one thing I wish I could change. DH gets very stressed about all the projects we need to do and I hate that.

Good luck in whatever you decide. There is nothing wrong with trying it out for 5 years and deciding it is not for you.
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  #11  
September 9th, 2013, 05:51 PM
slmehaffey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have lived in the country 1/2hour away from any store or restaurant I could desire, in a moderate sized city, close to everything I wanted, with a good sized yard, in a huge city where even though I was close it still took getting on the highway to get anywhere, and had a both a small apartment and later a 4 bedroom house with nice sized yard, and now in a place that boasts almost 1,000 people and is a good hour or two away from any store I want to go to.... all have their perks.
We've always tried to locate ourselves as close to DH's work as possible, regardless of the place it dropped us, it has always been a big deal that we wouldn't waste money on gas, and time he could be spending with us instead of driving to and from work. The furthest commute he's ever had was 30 mins in good traffic in the largest city we've lived in.
What I like about rural living: We actually live in a community, not all out on our own on lots of land, but the land we do live on is shared, no fences between houses, neighbors are friendly (mostly seniors) and love our kids and look out for them, and talk nicely with them when we are outside, and let them use their driveway to ride their bikes in (ours sucks for bike riding, and they are too little to use the road yet). I love the fresh air, and the trees, the walking paths when the weather is good, the fact that any outdoor activity is literally a few steps from our house, and the fact that we are able to have a small garden (wish I could go bigger and get a few chickens but the neighborhood association wont allow it.)
Things I hate about living rural: I miss Target so much! DH and I have not been on a date in forever because to be honest there isn't anywhere to go, not even a movie theater. People here are either vacationing, or have pretty well grown up here, and though you'd think with so little to do in a tiny town they'd be easy to catch up with they run themselves ragged and never have time for anyone outside of who they already know, or really are not looking for anyone to hang out with cause they wont be here more than a week. So making friends has been really HARD!!!

Things I'd look into: are there mom groups in the area? I go to a MOPS group and I love it, twice a month I get to get to know other women in similar positions as me, and get a bit of social activity. What do you enjoy doing? There may be other social things you might never have thought of... such as line dancing at the senior center... a few older ladies invited me from church and I LOVE going.. gets me a break from the kids and I get a bit of exercise while I'm at it.
How do you kill the boredom blues? go for a walk? meet up with a friend for coffee? visit your favorite store? not things you really think about when moving, but after you move you'll think a lot about them if you can't do them any more.
the move could be great, but it could also be isolating.. are you a very social person or do you spend most of your time inside alone and feel good about that? If you attend church, do you know if they have a church similar to the one you go to now? You may want to drive out there a few times and check some of them out, and get to know people and find out about local resources.
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