[UndaCovaSis]

Anyone here married to an African? My husband is from Nigeria/Ghana and he is fabulous.

I have a heck of time with his family though.

The culture is very different.....

[Momo]

I'm not married to an African, I'm married to a Chinese man, but I have definately had a hard time with his family. It took them a while to accept me and it is still difficult sometimes.

[UndaCovaSis]

I don't know much about Chinese culture. What do you think is the biggest cultural-conflict so to speak?

[Momo]

Boy, there were a few! First off a huge cultural expectation was that they expected and wanted their son to marry in his own race. They were always complaining to him about dating a "white" girl because white girls get divorces.
They also equate personal success to multiple college degrees and lots of money. They had a hard time knowing that I didn't like college and dropped out my third year. They were always talking to me about how if I wanted to be a good person I needed to get my degree. Also they struggle with the fact that I will not be working when the baby comes.
The language barrier can also be difficult but I think the things I listed above were and have been the most difficult to deal with. I remember writing to them listing off all of the good things I had done with my life to show that that just because I'm not Chinese doesn't mean I'm a bad person.
It's so frusterating sometimes to deal with those cultural differences as well as racism.
What about you? What have been the biggest cultural differences between you and an African family?

First off a huge cultural expectation was that they expected and wanted their son to marry in his own race. They were always complaining to him about dating a "white" girl because white girls get divorces.[/b]

My fiance is arabic (eygptian/turkish) and that his families biggest problem with me! It drives me crazy! Maybe that is true but you have to look at each individual relationship you know!

[UndaCovaSis]

Well, let me tell you:

White women don't cook.

White women don't clean.

White women get divorces all the time.

White women put black men in jail.

(THey actually told this to my husband. We were going to go to get the legal marriage done at the courthouse and put off the religous one - we kept puttingourmarriage off to give them time to come to terms yeah riiiiiiight - and my husband called to tell his mom that. They go off on him for like 30 minutes about how he shouldn't get a legal marriage to me that I am going to put hiim in jail. I don't really understand the pathology, but w/e. )

I guess that sums it up. LoL. It is so far from the truth though. I am Latina but they call it white anyway. I always hear things related to cooking/cleaning and then they are really into prestige as well.

The other thing Idon't like is that his mother thinks I am supposed to call her and tell her what I am doing. I bought a plane ticket to visit my family. I decide not to go and she is like why didn't you tell me? Why don't you tell me this? Look, I am not your child I am not calling you to tell you what I do every day. It is none of your business.

She always comments about me being so big and how I need to exercise. She'll do it infront of my friends. She did it at my baby shower. My husband says she doesn't know that sheisnot supposed to say things becausein Africa they don't care about this and they say w/e about ppls size/weight.

She complains cause I wear black alot and not enough color.

She complains cause I don't have meat when shecomes over.

There are soooo many small things shesaysthat I just want to deck her. LOL

Like I showed her myultrasound photos, and she is like Oh we don't do this in nigeria ...going around showing pictures of ultrasound. There are alot of comments like this..........like small but annoying. She always feels the need to tell me what they do in Africa and how we ppl do it here is just sooo inferior.


The other things I don't like are more their family and not the culture...

[Ann_momof2]

Well my s/o is from Nigeria, and I'm starting to feel kinda lucky that all of his family (except his other kids) live in other countries. Actually I've had limited contact with his family-only on the phone and I've met one of his cousins who came to visit us.