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Forum: Interracial Families

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  #1  
February 24th, 2010, 09:19 AM
REAL NAME: Chellie
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i really don't mean to be offensive && so i'm sorry if this comes across as really ignorant or something, but i'm finding i just can't help feeling this way!

i'm mixed myself (haitian/dominican) but i pretty much look black so i've always just considered myself as a black woman. my DP is mexican/puerto rican/spanish, but i think because of the spanish, being european, he's a bit fairer skinned than most hispanic people. i usually don't put too much stock into coloring at all, especially with my parents! they've been married for 25 years, we're a very close family, && they pretty much obliterate the stereotypes that usually come with what "color" you should be because of what country you come from. my HAITIAN mother is what most people would consider "hispanic-looking" && my DOMINICAN father looks black. not a big deal. anyways, that's my background, so now to the point, lol.

i'm actually really really worried that my baby is going to come out looking SO fair skinned that he/she won't look like me at all! my cousin is black && she's married to a puerto rican guy, && she has three kids. not even one of them looks even mixed, they all look like their daddy, && i've seen her try to pick up her son from school && have to wait until they went to the office to pull his file && check her ID before they could release him to her! i don't want people to see me with my child && think i'm just watching somebody else's kid, i want to be able to look at my baby && see a LITTLE bit of me in there, know what i mean? is that a terrible thing to be thinking? sighhhhhh ...
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  #2  
February 24th, 2010, 10:02 AM
Perfectly~Flawed's Avatar ♥ Proud Potterhead! ♥
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Lady we share the same concerns! When Lynda wasfirst born I always got "Is she yours?" People thought I was her dang nanny!
But she has my nose. So, I will be at the school going "My nose! See!"
Only thing I can say, if your LO does come out fair skin...stay active in their school. Let the teachers, princpal etc etc get to know you.

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  #3  
February 24th, 2010, 09:19 PM
Adriana's Mommy's Avatar I <3 my kids
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It's perfectly normal to have those concerns.. I agree that if your pro-active in your child's school,etc.. They will know, he/she is your child..
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  #4  
February 25th, 2010, 08:48 AM
REAL NAME: Chellie
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firsttimemama, i just posted on your fb wall, lol ... omg your daughter is SO gorgeous! && addie && aj are beautiful too! i know my daughter (yes i'm thinking pink already!) will be beautiful && i'll love her with everything i've got, but i can't help worrying a ltitle that people won't see me in that little miracle ...

thanks for understanding ladies!
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  #5  
February 25th, 2010, 09:38 AM
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My son looks zero mixed, he looks white. I get a lot of looks & questions & it's gotten to a point probably if another person ask me if "He's mine" I'm going to flip. Here's a good one too "Wow he's so beautiful he must look just like his Dad"

HELLO..What are you trying to say about me ???????

My son does have my DH complexion, eye color, & hair but he looks just like me. I put one of my baby pics right next to him & wow he's my twin.

It's sad to say but when you decide to have a biracial child these are some of the things that come along with the territory. People are so small minded & ask things that could really be offensive, but they don't even realize it
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  #6  
February 25th, 2010, 09:55 AM
REAL NAME: Chellie
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your son is BEAUTIFUL! he must look just like his mommy!
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  #7  
February 25th, 2010, 11:45 AM
Adriana's Mommy's Avatar I <3 my kids
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karmaissotrue View Post

It's sad to say but when you decide to have a biracial child these are some of the things that come along with the territory.
I agree..

I do think that this situation happens to people who don't have a bi-racial baby. Especially if the child has red hair and the mom doesn't have red hair.. People always ask if my younger sister (she's my 1/2 sister) was adopted because she has dark red hair and no one else in my family has it..
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  #8  
February 25th, 2010, 09:13 PM
Perfectly~Flawed's Avatar ♥ Proud Potterhead! ♥
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karmaissotrue View Post
It's sad to say but when you decide to have a biracial child these are some of the things that come along with the territory. People are so small minded & ask things that could really be offensive, but they don't even realize it
So true...
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  #9  
February 26th, 2010, 01:42 PM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It will never fail that some people will ask/say stupid things to you, but that is life really, I am sure people would say dumb ish to you if you didn't have a biracial child, ya know.

I understand the thought/concern though. I had security called on me in a Toys R Us because certain people didn't believe my oldest daughter was mine, apparently her lil brown self with her hair all braided couldn't possibly belong to my incredibly pale/fair skinned, red headed self.

My oldest is 15 so I am used to it, have heard it all, and honestly have taken the opportunity (usually) to educate quite a few folks, unless they are rude with it, then that stereotypical red headed attitude I have will come and bite yer head off.

The latest was when someone at SO's church decided to tell him that our youngest son couldn't be his because he (the baby) has greenish blue eyes. Apparently black folks can't make baby with anything but brown eyes.....yeah, right.

So the point is, you'll never avoid people's stupidity.

Oh...LOL....another story is about this lil girl at church who is not mixed, two black parents, but she is light skinned and has curly blond-ish/brown hair and folks are forever trying to "give" her to me, like she is mine. Her mom and I just laugh about it. She knows if she can't find Jayla in the church, somebody probably "gave" her to me again.
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  #10  
March 8th, 2010, 01:49 AM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think your worries are normal. But regardless of whether your little one looks like you or the daddy they will be beautiful no matter what. And those that have an issue with any of it are just ignorant.
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