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  #1  
October 29th, 2010, 09:59 AM
belleaz's Avatar Veteran
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with your child shunning either race??

I've had 2 sons that have made it an issue my oldest noticed very early me n daddy were different colors he wld say daddy chocolate all over mama and your brown and im brown we're brown. I would try to explain tht he was "brown & Chocolate" and he'd cry i dont wanna be chocolate, I wanna b brown.

I figured he'd just grow out of it as he got older but he hasnt he's even went as far to say i want a brown daddy not a chocolate one. At school he's considered black but i asked them not to push the issue either because he clearly is upset about something.What could it be??


He is 7 now and has arguments at school with the kids because he tells them he's mexican but he looks black he struggles because he comes home and tells me they said im not mexican because i dont speak spanish so could you teach me some?? I want him to be him and not worry about being one or the other i guess im just looking for advice or input.

Please and thank you
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  #2  
November 10th, 2010, 05:59 PM
Zoostergirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by belleaz View Post
I figured he'd just grow out of it as he got older but he hasnt he's even went as far to say i want a brown daddy not a chocolate one.

I think shunning either race is common with biracial kids, but I think it mostly happens in adolescence. Your son seems a little young - do you think he's being teased/bullied at school and that's why he's upset about it?
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  #3  
November 11th, 2010, 07:34 PM
belleaz's Avatar Veteran
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I dont think so he goes to a school with a pretty mixed school not alot of AA around tho there is quiet a few Caucasians and mixed kids. This started before school , I dont know what else to do with him tho I dont put either one on him. Maybe because he's around my family more thats what he identifies with?
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  #4  
November 19th, 2010, 12:07 AM
Two for More's Avatar Veteran
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Yikes! I honestly don't know what I'd do as a parent in this situation -- no kids yet. I agree that maybe the thing to do is try to figure out why he seems to be rejecting this other side of himself. Just from what you've written, it does sound like he's maybe getting some flack at school that's upsetting him. It does seem that he identifies more with being Mexican, and I'm all for helping kids learn about themselves -- if he wants to learn Spanish, I say go for it! I certainly wouldn't downplay one side in favor of the other, but would try to find ways to help him see that both parts of who he is are great! Maybe try think of ways to help him identify with the other part of his background (and maybe Dad could help with this, too). It sounds like he goes to a pretty diverse school, but that he doesn't have many (or any?) "chocolate" peers. Are there any community or children's groups the family could take part in that would allow him to meet new people? I went through school -- elementary, middle and high school -- being able to count the other black students on two hands. It can be tough going to school and feeling like you're the only "this kind of person" or "that kind of person," and from what you've written, it seems like your son is facing something similar. Anyway, I think half the battle is recognizing that there is something going on at all, so kudos to you for noticing it and wanting to do something about it. Good luck and keep us updated!
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