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HI! My name is Karen. I am white and my husband (Carl) is black. We've been together for 15 years now (since college) and have been married 6 1/2 years. We are expecting twin boys next week, which are our first children. I've been really superstitious about posting (and hope I'm not jinxing anything) prior to our boys arriving. I've grown very accostumed to our racial differences w/ just the 2 of us, but now that we are adding 2 children who are "mixed", it adds a whole other dimension.
My husband and I have already had some disagreements about raising the children. Both are families are supportive and excited and will be very involved. It's societal problems I'm most concerned with. I know the boys will be considered "black" even though they are half white. However, I want our children to know and understand their entire ancestary not just one side. My husband is concerned that they will be teased/tortured/confused when they get older if they claim to be african american, polish, and finish. How has everyone else dealt with this issue? It's really important to me that my side not get lost even though I know society could give care less b/c they will be viewed only as African American.
First of all welcome and congratulations on your upcoming birth. I can understand your frustrations but ease up already . I know people look at me funny when I have Wynston in public but one thing I've learned is that society will have their view but it does not control my life nor my son's. My boys are beautiful!! I do remember going into a store with Wynston's father and an African-American woman gave me the dirtiest look as if to say why are you with that caucasian man, even though he and I both have Cherokee but I also have African-American, Dutch and German. I gave her this devilish smile as to say whatcha lookin at ??????? . Frankly, in our world today you don't have to be just mixed to go through adversary. Teach your boys to be the handsome Kings they are meant to be and if YOU don't make such a big deal, they won't. KUP on the birth and I can't wait to see the babies
I think that if you teach your boys to be proud of their heritage people won't bully them like that. Bullies always know how to pick out insecure people to bully. So if ya'll teach them to be proud of what they are I'm sure they'll be okay.
»»First I would like to congratulate you on your pregnancy and the arrival of your twin boys!! So Exciting!
About the disagreements between you & your husband I agree with the ladies, I think the boys deserve to know there REAL heritage not just part. You both created these children they are mixed with both races so you have the right to teach them. I wish you the best of luck, and you & your husband can both talk about this.
Congratulations to you and your husband. And once again, I would like to echo what everyone else is. Despite what society will view your children as, you and your husband teach your child to embrace both sides of their heritage. And let them know that even if people want them to "pick a side," that they can be confident in going against all that and saying that they're mixed. Trust me, they won't be confused, and they'll be proud to let people know their heritage and able to scoff at others' ignorance.
And as an added note, it's been my experience with my family that people are coming to terms with the fact that if a child has parents of difference races that they are mixed and not just one or the other, that they don't have to pick a side. Yeah, there are still people who'll be like, "Do you consider your children black or white?" You'll still have deal with some ignorance, but you'll have to deal with ignorance regardless. People will always find something to take an issue with.