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Bad day emotionally :(


Forum: November 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
March 27th, 2013, 10:44 AM
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I'm having a really bad day emotionally today with this pregnancy. My boyfriend had a vasectomy before I met him due to a bad motorcycle accident. Ever since I've known him, it's been understood that he can't have kids. Well lo and behold, I'm pregnant, so this has been a big surprise. Since I told him, he has been to 4 different doctors with them all saying I shouldn't be pregnant. I just don't know what to think. I know he's the father.
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  #2  
March 27th, 2013, 10:54 AM
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Wow, that is a miracle baby! How does your boyfriend feel, does he believe you when you tell him he is for sure the father? Once the baby comes take a paternity test and go back to all those doctors and show them they were wrong!
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  #3  
March 27th, 2013, 10:55 AM
Classy's Avatar Love my 3 girls!
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Wow, that is crazy, but not totally unheard of! The dr's are saying you shouldn't be pregnant- not that you couldn't be.The chances might be slim but it's not impossible or you wouldn't be pregnant. I suppose it is natural for him to question it- but for him to be questioning you is unfair. I would tell him you will be happy to submit to a DNA test as soon as medically possible, and if he doesn't act as though the child is his in the meantime- I don't know what I would do, but i might seriously think about kicking him to the curb.
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  #4  
March 27th, 2013, 10:59 AM
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the can do a dna test in utero but it'll be less invassive once baby is born. I'm sorry this is happening
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  #5  
March 27th, 2013, 11:08 AM
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To be honest, I completely understand how he's feeling since we have an open relationship. I am more than willing to give him a paternity test once the baby comes, and he's not really denying that he's the father. It's just hard since there's that seed of doubt.

I think he believes me and wants to believe me, and wishes that the doctors would tell him something to back me up instead of him looking stupid.
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  #6  
March 27th, 2013, 11:16 AM
Txmom4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry, that has to be really hard. Maybe take him to your OBGYN with you, I am sure she has seen it happen before. But can I ask why he had to have a V because of a motorcycle accident? What do they have to do with each other? Im honestly just curious.
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  #7  
March 27th, 2013, 11:25 AM
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From what he told me, he got hurt down there and there was bleeding and whatever they did to fix it included a vasectomy. I didn't know him then so I'm not sure.
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  #8  
March 27th, 2013, 11:26 AM
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I was curious about the same thing TXMom asked. That said, there is always a chance of pregnancy. Vasectomies are not 100% and a good doctor would not tell him there's no chance of that happening. This would not be the first time. There have been cases where the body repaired itself. I believe the pregnancy rate is 1% so ,yes, it's a VERY slim chance but it's not completely something that can be ruled out. The only 100% contraceptive is abstinence. Why don't you find the information for him?
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  #9  
March 27th, 2013, 11:38 AM
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Nothing is 100% effective except abstinence! Sometimes vasectomies aren't completely successful and I think it's even possible for them to reverse themselves, which is really rare but possible. Did all of those doctors test him?
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  #10  
March 27th, 2013, 11:40 AM
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Yeah, all of them tested him within the last week or 2.
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  #11  
March 27th, 2013, 11:43 AM
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When you say open relationship, do you mean you guys have other partners? If so then I can see where he would be concerned. And if that is the case, how are you sure its his? (and I dont mean that in a rude way!)
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  #12  
March 27th, 2013, 11:54 AM
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I am pretty sure. Probably 90%. I know when I had sex with him, I know the dates I should have ovulated, the ultrasound matched up with that exactly. I didn't have sex with anyone else close to that time. But apparently anything can happen. Like I said, I understand his confusion. I just really hate this situation.
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  #13  
March 27th, 2013, 11:58 AM
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Ahh I see. Well like I said, take him to the OB with you and s/he can let him know that a v isnt 100% and that it has happened before, he wouldnt be the 1st or last it happens to. Maybe you can also explain the date situation to him and show him how it has to be him.
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  #14  
March 27th, 2013, 12:02 PM
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Yeah, I'm going to do that when I see him tomorrow. Thanks y'all, I just really had to talk this out a bit. Nobody else I can talk about this to.
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  #15  
March 27th, 2013, 12:10 PM
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That would be hard! I've known of couples where both have been sterilized and they still conceive. Sperm can last for a long time and ovulation dates can be off though. If you had sex with anyone else that month, I'd recommend a paternity test. So much of our medical history is genetic and its important for your baby to know that history. My best friends dad was adopted. When he got really sick it was hard to find a diagnosis. One of his birth parents must have come from a small area in Europe where the genetic condition he has is seen. It took way longer for a proper diagnosis because he had no info on the birth families. Hugs to you!
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  #16  
March 27th, 2013, 12:14 PM
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I'm definitely getting a paternity test, not just for him, but for my own sanity.
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  #17  
March 27th, 2013, 12:23 PM
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Oh, and a drs view of infertility isn't the same as mine. An online friends DH was diagnosed as infertile, but she kept conceiving! Even after a V there can be sperm, but not enough to be considered fertile. It only takes one though, not millions!
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  #18  
March 27th, 2013, 12:51 PM
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I didn't realize you had an open relationship and there is a small chance he might not be the father. I would definitely get a DNA test done asap for peace of mind. This has to be difficult for both of you.
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  #19  
March 27th, 2013, 04:59 PM
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So sorry hun ((hugs)) I can't believe any of those doctors wouldn't tell him that there is a chance. I'd print some info out for him to read!
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  #20  
March 27th, 2013, 05:04 PM
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I agree with getting the DNA test for peace of mind, lots of hugs!!
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