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Name Dilemma


Forum: November 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
June 28th, 2013, 09:32 AM
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So for the longest time, I have "known" that this little boy's name should be Eli Timothy. I love the name, and in my mind I have been calling him baby Eli for weeks. But now my hubby says he doesn't like the name Eli, and wants to name him Timothy Louis, after his father and brother. Well, his father is Timothy Louis Sr, and brother is Jr, so even though I doubt that his brother will ever settle down and have kids, I wouldn't want to take away the option for him to have a Timothy Louis III if he wanted to. Another thing is, there's always been a lot of animosity between my BIL and I. I love him because he is family, but I wouldn't really want my son to have the same name as him.

A little background about my BIL...he was injured while in the Marines, and hasn't been the same since. We tried to get him help for years, with jobs, letting him live with us, etc, but he CHOOSES to be homeless! He wouldn't even sleep in our house when we lived in Tampa, and chose to "camp" in our backyard or crash on our front porch, which made me way more uncomfortable than having him stay in the house with us. Now, no one has seen or heard from him in a few years. It's been rumored that he walked to Illinois to try and make things work up there, but who really knows? Soooo, he is kinda the very weird, black sheep of the family so to speak.

I love to have Timothy as a middle name, but my husband doesn't want to compromise at all! I haven't brought the subject up for a week or so, but would really like to try and decide on this little guys name. Do you ladies have any advice or even name suggestions to go with Timothy as a middle name?

My other kids names are Mac Thomas (technically McElroy Thomas Jr, but both DH and him go by Mac), Olivia Grace, and Logan Henry.
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  #2  
June 28th, 2013, 09:45 AM
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Hmmmm, that's tough one! I can totally see not wanting to use a name that has the possibility (although small) of being used by someone else. I wonder if your DH thinks naming the baby after his bro will make his bro feel special, like people care about him? I'm so sorry that BIL has gone thru/is going thru what he is. It is hard to see people needing help, but not being willing to get it.

But I can also see not wanting to cause an argument/disagreement with DH.

Do you think he would compromise to use Timothy as the first name, but then a different middle name than Louis?
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  #3  
June 28th, 2013, 10:25 AM
hotpinkheels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think Eli Timothy is darling, and a really nice way to incorporate BIL without having him be a III. Personally I would feel odd doing a III if DH wasn't the father... KWIM?

I wouldn't push it with DH, but just let him know your thoughts and feelings. Otherwise, maybe the solution is to come up with a completely different name altogether?

Sorry- I don't feel like I'm much help!
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  #4  
June 28th, 2013, 10:38 AM
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Oh my..that is a big dilemma! I'm so sorry DH is being so stubborn on it. I don't have any suggestions....I'm sorry... I just don't know the best way to handle it. I know I personally wouldn't budge on something that important to me...but I'd hate for it to cause problems for you both down the line.. Either way, you're going to have a beautiful baby that no matter what he's named is going to be your pride and joy. I hope you are able to come to an agreement!
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  #5  
June 28th, 2013, 10:49 AM
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I think I've confused you with my long post, lol. Here's the short story. Hubby wants to name the baby Timothy Louis after his father and brother, my compromise is to use Timothy as a middle name, because I really don't want it as a first name. But now he doesn't want to compromise on any other names at all. Ugh, why does naming a person have to be so hard, lol!

The other first names I've suggested are
Elijah
Elliot
Noah
Nathan (after my grandfather and brother)
Jacob (on the fence with this one because my hubby's 2nd cousin is also Jacob, but we pretty much never see him)
Joseph (my father's middle name and hubby's grandfather's name. But I really think it is too common)
Owen
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  #6  
June 28th, 2013, 11:14 AM
Erin1826's Avatar Super Mommy
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It seems that your husband is being pretty unfair with his unwillingness to budge. This is your baby, too, after all. If it were up to him, the baby would have all three names after HIS side of the family. A fair compromise would be for one of the names to honor your family if you wish. That would be my argument anyway.
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  #7  
June 28th, 2013, 11:57 AM
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I would not do a third! Technically he wouldn't be anyway. Personally, I used the same middle name as my brother (g grandpas name) and it really hurt my brothers feelings. He asked me to choose a different middle name so he could use it when he someday has kids. After listing all of our cousins with the same name, there is one in every family, he was fine with it. I'm happy with him using the same name when his time comes. Your BIL may get his life together and have children. Its not right to take his name unless he's passed on. I would have no problem using it as a middle name, but stealing his name from him is insulting!
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  #8  
June 28th, 2013, 01:18 PM
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I agree with all the ladies here. That is a name for the brother to use (plus it's not setting a good precedent to name a child after a person with no direction). My cousin gave his son his brother's name and I thought that was so weird. Then when the brother had a child, he gave his son the same name. Now there's two Derricks when there should have been only the one.

I know there's a mom, either in the June DDC or the July DDC, who has a son named Eli Timothy.
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  #9  
June 28th, 2013, 01:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shana1979 View Post
I agree with all the ladies here. That is a name for the brother to use (plus it's not setting a good precedent to name a child after a person with no direction). My cousin gave his son his brother's name and I thought that was so weird. Then when the brother had a child, he gave his son the same name. Now there's two Derricks when there should have been only the one.

I know there's a mom, either in the June DDC or the July DDC, who has a son named Eli Timothy.
I saw that in the other DDC too! But I decided on this name way before I saw that, so in my mind, she stole my baby's name, lol. I swear hubby and I always go back and forth on names for a while before we agree on something, so I know eventually we'll come to an agreement. I just really love the name I picked
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  #10  
June 28th, 2013, 02:00 PM
hotpinkheels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I wouldn't give up on Eli Timothy just yet... trying to think of a way for "Eli Timothy" to have been DH idea... LOL That always seems to be the most effective means for persuasion.
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  #11  
June 28th, 2013, 02:39 PM
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What is your dad's name? Any way you could name the baby after both of your dads?

I agree that Timothy Louis isn't really "fair" since it's all from his side of the family.
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  #12  
June 28th, 2013, 04:40 PM
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My dad's name is Michael Joseph, but my nephew is already named Michael after him. My step-dads name is William, but I'd leave that name open in case my step-sister decides to have another baby and wants to name it after her dad.

My compromise is to use Timothy as a middle name, and then find a first name we both agree on. My oldest is a Jr, and my youngest son is Logan Henry, with his middle name after my Uncle who passed away before I was even born. Technically, my uncle's name was Heinrich, which is the German form of Henry. My mom was born in Germany, so there are a lot of different names on her side. Most of the male names I've found when looking through our family Bible with our family tree are Johann, Rudolf, Heinrich, Gustov, etc. So it's hard to pick a name from her side. I don't necessarily need my child to be named after anyone (my daughter isn't), but would like to come to an agreement sooner rather than later.
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  #13  
June 29th, 2013, 08:27 PM
Lotsakids's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For me personally there is no way I would be comfortable naming a baby after someone one that I had previous animosity with.
I think that you really have to love the name you have picked for baby, otherwise you can regret the decision indefinitely.
If hubby 'wont budge,' I wouldn't be either.
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