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My name is Sarah, I am currently 23 but will be 24 in Sept.
A little background:
I got married when I was 17, pregnant on our wedding night, and delivered my DD Alaiyah on May 7th, 2006. After 2 deployments and 3 years of marriage we called it quits. Near the end of his 2nd deployment I hit a rock bottom, I was leaving DD with my parents so I could go out and party all the time. In a nutshell I was not the wife and mother I should have been (this is the sugar coated version). It's taken me a long time to admit to my faults, and stop placing blame on others. I began to date the man who is now my SO, (3 years this Aug.) Patrick who is 28. When ex came home from deployment I decided I would move out since I was the one who initiated the separation. We agreed ex could keep DD since he had missed a year of her life and would alternate houses. That never happened. After an altercation resulting in me going to jail for domestic assault ex moved DD to another state, he also changed his last name.
Fast forward a little:
Ex and I are still legally married, neither of us have the financial ability to afford a contested divorce. We talk regularly and have even been talking about making our own parenting plan when I go visit them.
Patrick and I have one child together. DS named Avian who was born October 10th, 2009. He has been my miracle from God through these past 2 1/2 years without my DD. I have learned to be a better person and how to make better choices in my life.
Now we are expecting our 2nd child together, my 3rd. I was at work and someone walked passed me and all I could smell was alcohol, I asked if they had been drinking and they looked at me like I was nuts and said "a few days ago...". Later I helped someone lift a patient and all I could smell was coffee. She said she had had 2 cups that morning before work... I was helping her around noon. After work I needed to go grocery shopping so I decided to pick up a test while I was there. Went home and was going to wait until the next morning but being the impatient person I am I decided to test that night. SO was in the shower while I took the test and when it came up positive I said "Well darn". He said "What! What does it say?!" and I showed it to him through the shower curtain. He started dancing in the shower! I just new he was going to fall!
I was a little shocked at first since we were NTNP and nothing had happened for over a year. I am currently the "bread winner" so to speak and am always the worry wart about finances so that was probably my biggest concern overall. I am more excited now because I saw the baby's h/b at 8 weeks it was 169bpm! I had to have a repeat u/s due to a sub chorionic hemorrhage they found during an ER visit at 6 weeks and 4 days. So far the SCH is still there and has shrank slightly. We're hoping it absolves completely, we'll find out at our gender scan on Sept. 2nd.
As far as names go we've only come up with girl names. Everyone is already voting for team Pink. I don't mind either way, to be honest I'm a little torn with this. Girl would be great but I'm afraid how my DD will feel. On the positive side my mom would have a granddaughter here in TN and it would make being apart from DD a little easier. If it's a boy I don't know how DS would feel, or how I would feel having another DS since I think of him and DD as my only children. It's hard to imagine having 2 children at the same time and having to share my attention. My biggest obstacle is definitely not having DD and trying to "fix" the situation. She doesn't know about her brother or that I'm pregnant because her father and I both feel she is to young to understand especially with the special circumstances we fall under. I'm not apart of her life other than by phone and pictures and hopefully soon a visit until we agree on a visitation method that works for both families.
My family is definitely unconventional and unique but by the grace of God it's slowly coming together in an optimistic light. I take one day at a time and I make short term realistic goals. One day I'll be able to say that I'm 100% happy, that will be the day I see my DD, DS and this new baby all together playing and being siblings. That is my dream, that is my long term goal and no matter how it plays out, I'm willing to accept it.
What you do today, affects what happens tomorrow and everyday thereafter.
I would like to introduce your big sister and big brother.
This is your sister Lorelei Alaiyah, Li-Li for short. She is 5 years old and lives in Washington with her daddy. She loves Dora the Explorer, playing dress up, dinosaurs, and swimming. She can read at a 1st grade level and is learning how to add. She enjoys spending time with Gramma Judi and having sleep overs with friends.
This is your brother Avian Patrick, Avi for short. He will be 2 years old in October. He lives with Mommy and Daddy and eventually you when you arrive! He loves to talk! He likes to play outside and loves to swim. He's learning how to count. He loves everything food related and eats more than Mommy sometimes! He loves to make people laugh and is always doing silly things.
And this is Mommy and Daddy
(Sorry it's an old picture but my laptop is in the shop so all I have available is what's on photobucket. I'll update later on.)
And we can't wait to get to know you through these next months and then finally meet you in January!
So far things have been going okay. I finally found a little of my energy and guess what I used it on? Cleaning the house! Of all things, I spend the day deep cleaning everything, you would think I was nesting! I think I overdid it though because last night I kept waking up by a dull pain shooting through my left arm. It feels better today though and I even went swimming! Last night Daddy and I were talking about Avian and how he's going to feel about being a big brother. I'm concerned he's going to have jealousy issues, although your Dad doesn't think so at all. I guess time will tell when you get here.
Today I've been craving my homemade soup! I'm definitely going to have to start some before I go to work in the morning. I hope it's something you like! So far you only seem to dislike chicken, any time I eat it I toss my cookies or feel sick all day. Fruits and sweets sit really well though, maybe you're a girl after all!
The more I think about the name Avalei, the more I like it. I would have Avi and Ava, a perfect match. If you're a boy I have no idea what your name will be. It's okay, we still have 30 more weeks to come up with something!
Well it's still the beginning of week 11 and to be honest I'm impatient to get to 12 weeks! That number just seems so magical somehow. Daddy and I finally agreed that you're going to be our last bitty baby. We both agree that a family of 4 plus your half sister that will visit occasionally will be the perfect family dynamic for us.
I'm happy to say that I've had a little more energy these past few days. Work hasn't been such a challenge with the exception of the occasional nausea here and there. For some reason you don't like night time very much. When the sun goes down I can count on feeling pretty icky.
The 4th of July is tomorrow but I'll be at work. We'll probably have a potluck with lots of yummy food and maybe do something with the patients to celebrate. Where we live we'll be able to see plenty of pretty fireworks from the porch. I'm a little nervous how Avian will react since he doesn't take well to loud noises. I guess we'll see tomorrow night!
We made it to week 12! I'm still a little on edge though because a few friends of mine keep saying how they thought they were in the clear and ended up miscarrying at week 13 and 14. I suppose nothing truly gives you peace of mind until you hold a healthy baby in your arms, and even then you worry about them for the rest of their lives.
I haven't really been feeling pregnant lately. I'm grateful the nausea seems to have subsided for the most part, but now I feel like I'm stuck in a weird stage of pregnancy. I have a belly bump now, well more firm than the squishy fat it was before lol. I think once I start to feel more baby than squish I'll feel more at ease. I'm also a little impatient to feel you move! I thought I felt something the other night but it was very slight and only once. The hard kicks that Daddy can feel are what I'm waiting for, it's the coolest feeling in the world!
In other news from "outside the womb", the heat has been horrible! It was 114 degrees outside yesterday and since we don't have central heat and air it was miserable for me inside as well. I'm hoping that finances go well and we can replace the windows in your's and Avi's room. As of right now they're older than dirt windows that open by turning a lever so a window ac unit won't fit. I really don't want to move again so I'm hoping we can get them done in time.
I talked to human resources at work the other day and was told that I should be able to roll over my unused vacation. That would give me 338 hours of vacation plus 26 days of sick days. I would be able to take a paid maternity leave! This is great news since I'm the one with the career at the moment. I think things will work out well in the end.
So far week 13 has been pretty uneventful. I threw up at work yesterday, quite unexpected and so not fun to say the least. It's been so hot here lately, I think I was overheated and not to mention I had just devoured a greasy hamburger. I won't be doing that again.
I have an OB appointment tomorrow, I'm pretty sure it's just a routine visit, we'll get to hear your heartbeat though! I'll update afterwards. I've been pretty lazy lately and need to locate my camera charger so I can upload all the pictures I've taken in the last couple of months. Did I ever mention that I'm a procrastinator? You'll learn soon enough I'm sure, I'm kind of a pro at it lol.
I've started reading the Harry Potter series again. It's become part of the "I'm pregnant" custom for me. I read them all when I was pregnant with Alaiyah and Avian, finish a book, then watch the movie for it. I'm not a Harry Potter fanatic and I honestly don't know why I even started this trend but I admit I enjoy it and look forward to each book.
Well that's pretty much it for now as far as an update goes. I will say this... this pregnancy seems like it's going slow! I'm not a very patient person but little baby you have definitely given me a better perspective of what patience really is. I can't wait until we meet you!
Update for the OB appointment today.
Went in with a full bladder since I knew I would be peeing in a cup. If you're a girl I'm sorry to inform you that one day you'll have the pleasure of peeing in a cup with a small rim. I don't understand how they think this is sanitary but alas it is a necessary evil. I hope the antibiotics I took last month did the trick of kicking my UTI to the curb. I really don't want to take those horse pills ever again, they made me feel so awful. Anyway, after speaking with the nurse and signing more papers she left me to wait in the room for the doctor. I'm not sure if there was a plumber somewhere meddling with pipes but out of nowhere the sink started to gurgle and splutter water from the drain, it was making an awful racket and continued off and on for about 10 minutes. Never remembered to ask about that, but I thought it was funny nonetheless. The doctor finally came in and had me lie back so we could hear your heartbeat. He got it on the first try! Heard about 20 seconds of a good strong heartbeat and then you moved away and I actually felt it! I was so excited that I didn't even ask what the count was and left a little disappointed because the nurse said the doctor didn't write it in my chart. Oh well, lesson learned for the next visit.
It's the beginning of another baby growing week. There honestly haven't been very many changes physically. I haven't gained any weight and I still don't "feel" truly pregnant. I suppose it's because I haven't popped to the point where I have a noticeable belly, it's still the in between stages of flab and baby just a tad more firm. I thought I felt you move but keep second guessing myself since it only happened the one time. Once you're playing soccer in there I think I'll be more at ease.
New craving has been BLTs, I'm not much on lettuce so really just a bacon, tomato, mayo sandwich and it's absolutely delicious! I'm craving one right now but don't have any tomatoes. Maybe I can convince Daddy to pick some up in a little while.
I'm grateful you're due in January because if I were huge and pregnant in this August heat I would probably keel over! The other day we reached a new record, 116 degrees! There were heat advisories and ozone alerts all over the news and radio. I'm thankful I work indoors and feel bad for those who don't, that heat can be dangerous.
Well I suppose that's it for an update. Pretty boring these past few weeks in the outside world but I'm sure you're in there working hard on growing and becoming healthy. Keep up the good work and thanks for not making me feel icky lately, I really do appreciate it.
Oh my, so much to catch up on! I've been awful at keeping this updated. Well to sum things up, week 20 brought an ultrasound that told us you're right on track in the growth department and that we should keep the room painted blue! You're a boy! Daddy was a little bummed, he just knew you were a girl. Don't think he was bummed because he didn't want a boy, no sir, he was bummed because he was wrong and I think it hurt his ego a tad bit haha! We're very excited to have 2 beautiful boys!
Week 24 is when I finally started to really feel you kick and squirm. I was so impatient to feel those kicks and when it finally happened I cried! You've been pretty active these past few weeks and it is such a blessing to know you're alive and well in there. Some other cool news is that your Aunt Morgan and Uncle Brad found out they're expecting again! Your cousin Julian is 4 months younger than your big brother Avian, and their new baby will be 5 months younger than you, we thought that was pretty cool.
Week 25 started off pretty rough. I was having an issue with dizziness. Walking, standing, sitting up straight, if I was in an upright position I was severely dizzy. The room would spin, the floor felt as if it was going out from beneath me and I just felt... off. A few days after it began I was at work and out of nowhere I couldn't see. Everything looked hazy and I couldn't focus on anything. I tried to brush it off and continue working when all of a sudden I couldn't talk. I knew what I was trying to say, but my mouth was saying something completely different and off the wall. Luckily I was standing in front of a patient's bed because in another instant I collapsed, the entire right side of my body was numb and then I couldn't feel it at all. I am so grateful that I work with such awesome LPNs and RNs because the reaction time was so quick and even in all the panic they stayed calm and got me the proper help I needed. I remember trying to tell them I was having a stroke, trying to explain that this had happened 6 years before when I was pregnant with Alaiyah. The side of my face was paralyzed so I couldn't form words, all that came out was drool and mumbles, I must have looked a site. The hospital is literally right across the street from where I work, so they wheeled me to a car and drove me over. I was admitted immediately, given an IV and hooked up to every machine possible. I had cords going everywhere! I had a CT Scan that came back normal, no scarring this time! They kept me for observation and a battery of tests and was finally released to go home.
I've been home a week. I still have dizziness but otherwise I'm back to normal. I had a small stuttering issue for the first few days but thankfully it has subsided. I had a checkup with my OB and he said you check out just fine. I was so worried that something bad had happened to you in the whole ordeal but I'm breathing easier knowing you're okay. There's a little concern about my weight gain, apparently I've lost weight, putting us at a total of 6lbs gained from beginning to now. I don't see how since all I do is sleep and eat! I'm off work until my appointment with my neurologist on the 18th and let me tell you I'm going stir crazy! Your Daddy won't let me do much, which is good but I get so aggravated having to stay on the couch all day.
Well I suppose that's it for now little boy. Oh! I almost forgot, you still don't have a name. Daddy and I cannot think of anything that fits you. We're trying really hard to find that perfect name that's just for you, but so far we've hit a brick wall. Hopefully by my next update I'll have something more official to call you! I love you sweet boy. Even with my health issues, know that you're worth every second of it. There is no end to what I would do for you and your brother and sister.
Last edited by ~SarahDid~; October 13th, 2011 at 08:21 AM.