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Wanting to be a SAHM


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  #3  
July 1st, 2011, 05:32 AM
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Join Date: May 2011
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Jess - I totally agree with you! I adore my ds and he is totally the center of my world, but I need to still feel like me. I had thought I'd want to stay home, though like you it wasn't an option. But after maternity leave, I was ready to go back - to have some time where my life could be about me and not only Max. I've worked so hard on my career over the last 14 years and we rely on the financial freedom it gives us. Also, our salaries are so evenly matched that it isn't like one of us could really stay home without it being a major blow to our finances. I feel that I cherish every minute with my son in a way you can't when you are together 24/7. I also have the ability to work from home when i need to so I can take time for special occassions, doctors appointments, etc. I totally respect SAHMs but i know that it just isn't for me.
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  #4  
July 1st, 2011, 06:59 AM
anybodyinthere's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am planning to go back to work, although we could afford for me to stay home. The only reason I am not staying home is because my mom is going to be watching the baby! If I couldn't have family with the baby, I'd probably stay home although I would really be upset to leave my job.

1) I already have summers off and get insanely bored. I realize it's different with a baby, but I think I would still go nuts.

2) I'm a specialist in my building. There's only one of me, so if I stayed home for a few years, there would be no going back. They'd hire someone else and the way things work, I'd have to find a position somewhere else unless my position miraculously opened up again.

3) My job is very kid-friendly (music teacher at an elementary school) so once my kids are in Kindergarten, they will go to work with me for SIX YEARS!!! I will also get to hand pick their teachers, which is reason enough to keep working.
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  #5  
July 1st, 2011, 07:05 AM
Treysmama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Florida
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When I was pregnant with my son I have every intention(sp?) on going back to work. Then he was born and I couldnt bare to put him in daycare. If my mom could have watched him I prolly would have gone back but she couldnt so I stayed home with him and will until after I have this baby I am going to go to school then go back to work and both the kids will be in school by then.
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  #6  
July 1st, 2011, 07:16 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
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No, you aren't alone.

Before Elizabeth was born I swore I would NEVER want to be a SAHM. Then when she was a baby all I wanted to do was be home with her and I hated that I had to go to work.

NOW....I have my days. Sometimes I want to be a SAHM and other days I just want to get the frick out of the house.
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  #7  
July 1st, 2011, 07:40 AM
BobbityBoo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: The Left Coast
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I am a SAHM, but I would prefer to work. I am just not all that employable. I couldn't make enough for the daycare to be worth it. The plan is to finish school (I am the genius that dropped out a semester away from my BA in teaching) and go to work once this baby is old enough to go to daycare. I am not comfortable with full time daycare until my kids are about 18 months or so. I have liked staying home with my kids while they were young, but I am not a career, lifetime SAHM. I'm ready to move on from the baby stage and regain some semblance of myself!
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  #8  
July 1st, 2011, 07:55 AM
glitterific's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Am I the only one here who doesn't/wouldn't want to be a SAHM, given the choice?

I wish I could stay home for 2 years and go back to work. That isn't a possibility, I wouldn't be able to get a job in my field at the current level I am at - I would fall behind the pace of technology. I am already worried about what the projects that will be deployed while I'm gone and how much catch up I will have to play. I have a woman at my job that is mentoring me and she wants to keep me in the loop, she knows how this field can be and doesn't want me to 'lose' anything.

I would need to start all over if I left and that's the reality. That would be worse for my family, I couldn't handle working overnights again.
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  #9  
July 1st, 2011, 08:20 AM
corilyn's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: South Florida
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I'm a SAHM now but after this baby I will be going back to work and I can't wait because we really need the money. My hubby can pay the bills but there isn't extra for what we like to do. They won't be in daycare though I will be working nights and he will work days.
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  #10  
July 1st, 2011, 08:25 AM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
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I don't think you can really know what you want until the baby arrives I've had friends who swore they wanted to go back to work and then never did, and friends who tried the SAHM route and then ultimately decided that they needed to work at least part time. I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I gave up my full time job after Josiah was born, but I teach Thursday mornings from 9:30-11:30, and then MWF evenings for two hours each night. We need my income, so not working at all isn't an option, but I essentially feel like a SAHM by day, and a working mom by night
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  #11  
July 1st, 2011, 09:26 AM
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we have made the choice to have a one working parent family. Guess what, I refused to be the stay at home parent and my husband adores being home with our little girl. The whole set-up works so well for our family. It is a little unconventional according to some of our extended family and some actually look down at my husband, but we are doing what is best for us.
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  #12  
July 1st, 2011, 10:23 AM
-Anna-'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 8,039
I had the choice to stop working and stay at him with my DD before we sold our other house. Instead, I close to move into a bigger, nicer house and continue to work.

I enjoy working, but I also really enjoy being home with Bella. Luckly, being a teacher, I kinda have the best of both worlds. I get to work, but a few months out of the year, I get to be a SAHM.
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  #13  
July 1st, 2011, 11:00 AM
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I am currently a SAHM not by choice though, can't find a job. It's a love hate relationship for me! I don't want others to be the one to watch my child but especially with my anxiety it gets very tolling to be with a very hyper active kid day in and day out. Although as hard as it is on me I wish we could swing financially and that I could do this without a worry of how to pay the bills from month to month!
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  #14  
July 1st, 2011, 11:05 AM
hotpinktulips's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was abused in a home daycare when I was little so I always knew I'd be a SAHM for the first few years. It was extremely hard on us financially since I made more money, but we made it through and I'm thankful because now DH makes more then I was.

I will say being a SAHM for almost 5 years has sheltered me a bit from the outside world. There are days I wish I worked outside the home just so I could have a little break and get some adult interaction , but all in all I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Last edited by hotpinktulips; July 1st, 2011 at 11:08 AM.
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  #15  
July 1st, 2011, 11:09 AM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
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i was the same way before our dd came along then i laid my eyes on her and never wanted to leave her beautiful side and it just about killed me to go back to work. thank god i am a sahm now and its financially tight but nothing ever comes close to the bond of being home with my kids and raising them myself.
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  #16  
July 1st, 2011, 12:28 PM
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After I had my son, I really enjoyed the time I was able to spend with him. However, after 2 months, I was ready to go back to work! Adult interaction is important to keep your sanity during the day! After we have this baby, I will prob take off 8 weeks, then go back.
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  #17  
July 1st, 2011, 12:37 PM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggie1975 View Post
we have made the choice to have a one working parent family. Guess what, I refused to be the stay at home parent and my husband adores being home with our little girl. The whole set-up works so well for our family. It is a little unconventional according to some of our extended family and some actually look down at my husband, but we are doing what is best for us.

My husband would LOVE to be a SAHD. We actually just had to sign Elizabeth up for daycare two days a week (family has always watched her while we work) and he is NOT happy. He wants to be a SAHD and he also wants to home school her.
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  #19  
July 1st, 2011, 01:19 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
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dont let any one make you feel bad about your decision..what works for one family doesnt always work for another. i know what you mean on being attacked though, i get told i must be so happy to get to sit around, sleep all day do whatever i want etc by some family. ha ya i wish i got to sleep in!!
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