Log In Sign Up

baby shower etiquette


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To 2012 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
July 7th, 2011, 09:42 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: washington state.
Posts: 21,341
Send a message via Yahoo to acupofjoe
how many is to many for one mom to have? do you consider it rude or tacky to have more then one?

only reason im asking is because my only friend that i have (lol) said she wanted to throw me one but ive had one for each of my other children and people keep telling me its rude to have another one. i honestly didnt think id be having one because for one i wasnt throwing one for myself and two i didnt think anyone cared enough about me to throw me one this time around. i believe every child should be celebrated but im not sure why people think its tacky or rude to have one for every child..im not asking for gifts or anything i just want some family and friends around to celebrate our child and eat some cake.
__________________
Nessa proud married working mother of three kids in Washington state. Trying to raise our family of five as LDS. Taking life one day at a time.
Jordan - 6 yr; Stan - 4 yr; & Tyler - 2 yr.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
July 7th, 2011, 10:02 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: washington state.
Posts: 21,341
Send a message via Yahoo to acupofjoe
we wanted to keep it suprise but the more i think about it i am loving that gender reveal party
__________________
Nessa proud married working mother of three kids in Washington state. Trying to raise our family of five as LDS. Taking life one day at a time.
Jordan - 6 yr; Stan - 4 yr; & Tyler - 2 yr.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
July 7th, 2011, 10:29 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: washington state.
Posts: 21,341
Send a message via Yahoo to acupofjoe
BAHAHAHAHAHAHH to funny i think i love you!!! haha
__________________
Nessa proud married working mother of three kids in Washington state. Trying to raise our family of five as LDS. Taking life one day at a time.
Jordan - 6 yr; Stan - 4 yr; & Tyler - 2 yr.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
July 7th, 2011, 10:50 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 20,687
You can have "Celebrate Life" party. Or a "welcome Baby" Party. Or a "I want cake and you need to help me eat it" party. Specify they should NOT bring gifts. Do a 'reunion' style or a potluck and your friend provides the dessert.

I rarely see people get upset if there is a diaper party for 2nd or 3rd children. People just bring diapers of all sizes. You ALWAYS need diapers, regardless of how many children you have already given birth to.
__________________

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
Sail Back to Me
Reply With Quote
  #8  
July 7th, 2011, 11:25 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 20,687
I love the bite size theme! Too cute!

Oh, I just thought of something else! You could make it like a casserole party. EVery one brings 2...why 2? One to eat at the party, one to freeze for easy eating after baby is born and you are too tired to cook.
__________________

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
Sail Back to Me
Reply With Quote
  #10  
July 7th, 2011, 11:44 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 20,687
You could also do a 'spa party' if you know a consultant that does home spa parties, invite the girls for a pamering. The gifts being things to help you when the baby comes. That could include stuff for meals, or gift certificates for restuarants, nice lotions, comfy socks, nursing P.Js if you plan to breast feed, that kind of stuff. Having a baby is hard work and momma deserves to be pampered a bit afterwards! If just to make her feel human again!
__________________

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
Sail Back to Me
Reply With Quote
  #11  
July 8th, 2011, 04:11 AM
~Meg's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,041
I had kind of planned on having one if we have a girl since we have all boy stuff. My cousin told me that she wants to plan one for me for either gender. My mom and step mom planned my sons. My mom has sinced passed and my step mom is strictly a one baby shower type of person. So I'm kinda torn. I may just let her throw me one. We have always been close and more so now that my mom is gone. She has kind of stepped into that role in my life. Also because I love baby showers.
My one and only friend I talk to made me feel like an idiot. She didn't know we were thinking of doing one. But was telling me how on her next she wont have another shower because you only get one more then that is tacky. ( Thanks, since I spent hundreds on yours and got thrown into planning it without being asked and you didn't even send a gift to mine let alone fly home.) So now after that conversation I'm really leaning towards doing it just to give her something to talk about lol.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #12  
July 8th, 2011, 04:59 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
I think it is fine to have more than one shower if friends are willing to throw it for you. If the babies are close in age, you can say something about no showers, or I've heard of second baby showers called a "sprinkle" where people bring smaller gifts if they are so inclined (though most don't).

I never had a baby shower with my first because my mother and mother in law refused. They are considered bad luck among Jews to receive any gifts for the baby before she is born. After birth we had the bris (and if we had a girl we would have had a baby naming party at about 4 months) but at the bris i was way too exhausted to think of it as a party. Luckily my girlfriends are far less strict with traditions, and not all Jewish, so I'm hoping they throw me som sort of shower this time... I don't believe in bad luck from getting early gifts - I've alread had all the bad luck I can handle.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #13  
July 8th, 2011, 05:57 AM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 7,706
I think it's fine to have more than one as long as you're not asking for all new, big items like strollers and things. Every baby deserves to be celebrated! My mom is throwing me one regardless if it's another girl or not. Or if you are wanting to do cloth diapers you can have everyone bring one cloth diaper which is honestly about the cost of a box of sposies.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #14  
July 8th, 2011, 06:15 AM
jesridge's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,456
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marina'sMommy View Post
Every baby deserves to be celebrated!
^ I'm with this! Personally, I don't think it's tacky at all to have a shower for each one. Besides, sometimes safety guidelines change for the more expensive baby items, especially car seats, so it's nice to get a little help with updating the baby gear. As always, gifts aren't required at showers, but the term "shower" does indicate you're showering the person with gifts. We all know gifts are so helpful, but really, we just like celebrating with family/friends and knowing they're as excited to meet the baby as we are. That's all that really matters!

However, I am LOVING these ideas you gals are throwing out in lieu of showers. Awesome ideas.
__________________
~Jes~
& Rowan!

Born 12/30/11 and absolutely perfect!

Reply With Quote
  #15  
July 8th, 2011, 07:17 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,230
Quote:
Originally Posted by NutMeg76 View Post
I love the bite size theme! Too cute!

Oh, I just thought of something else! You could make it like a casserole party. EVery one brings 2...why 2? One to eat at the party, one to freeze for easy eating after baby is born and you are too tired to cook.
This is a really good idea! If I had a bigger freezer I would so do this.

I think that every baby should have a party...if people want to be lame about that then they don't have to come! If you have a friend that wants to have a party for you then let her!
__________________












***Don't expect me to lie to you just because you won't like the truth.***
Reply With Quote
  #16  
July 8th, 2011, 07:46 AM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
Send a message via AIM to BoobyDutyAgainJen
I think it is only rude when mom throws the second or more shower for herself. It isn't rude if a family or friend really wants to throw one for you. I like all the other party ideas. We probably will do a welcome baby or something party eventually. Either that or people tend to just bring gifts anyway.
__________________

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!



Reply With Quote
  #17  
July 8th, 2011, 07:47 AM
~SarahDid~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Clarksville, TN
Posts: 2,434
Send a message via Yahoo to ~SarahDid~
I don't know why but this always makes me mad when people get offended about having more than one shower. I know a girl who had 3 different showers for one baby! My thinking is this; if you have more than one child do you only throw one birthday party a year? Is it selfish to celebrate each individual child's birth or in this case upcoming birth? As others have said, it doesn't have to be big ticket items, gift cards or diapers will ALWAYS come in handy. Who in the world wouldn't want to come eat food, play games, and spend time with family and friends for free? On my invitations for both DD and DS I made it clear that a gift was not an obligation, I simply wanted their company. Maybe I'm just hormonal but this really grinds my gears.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #18  
July 8th, 2011, 07:57 AM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 7,706
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~SarahDid~ View Post
I don't know why but this always makes me mad when people get offended about having more than one shower. I know a girl who had 3 different showers for one baby! My thinking is this; if you have more than one child do you only throw one birthday party a year? Is it selfish to celebrate each individual child's birth or in this case upcoming birth? As others have said, it doesn't have to be big ticket items, gift cards or diapers will ALWAYS come in handy. Who in the world wouldn't want to come eat food, play games, and spend time with family and friends for free? On my invitations for both DD and DS I made it clear that a gift was not an obligation, I simply wanted their company. Maybe I'm just hormonal but this really grinds my gears.
Well, only the first child needs diapers right I don't see what the big deal is about multiple showers either. It's about getting together to celebrate a baby, not just gifts and things.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #19  
July 8th, 2011, 09:44 AM
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 33
My mom and I had this debate the other day! I told her that my cousin who is going to be the baby's godmother wanted to throw me a shower and my mom said that was rude because you only get one shower! Then she decided that if it's a girl she would give me a shower cause I have no girl clothes, she only decided this cause my cousin said she wanted to throw it!

My question is why is it rude to have another shower for a second baby but it's more than alright to have 5 showers before one wedding (my sister got married in april and had that many showers)! Also, if you are getting married again people usually don't have a problem with that!

I told my mom that it's not to get the presents, it's to celebrate having another baby (and I think this baby should be celebrated cause it took us over 2 years to get pregnant again and we are extremely happy).
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #20  
July 8th, 2011, 09:57 AM
MamaRed's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 472
You've gotten some fantastic ideas already (love the gender announcement party idea), but I thought I'd throw mine in there.

My friends and I throw a "sprinkle" for second and third babies in our group. Essentially, you have a lot of big stuff already from your other kids, but every baby needs some of their own gear. Clothes and toys don't always last (or if you're having a different gender they need girl/boy clothes) and you always need diapers and other consumables. Not to mention, every child DOES deserve a celebration and it's just fun to get together anyway.

Hope it turns out great for you!
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:07 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0