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My 2 cents (caution! Vent!)


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  #1  
July 25th, 2011, 09:12 PM
mom 2 Caden & Jordynn
Join Date: May 2011
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 200
I just have to get this out. When I first joined JM in May a few weeks after my BFP I felt so lucky to have found a group of ladies going through what I'm going through and at the same time! Many of the girls on the board have been at this for years and I was new and still trying to feel my way around. After a while, I started to notice that there was a bit more drama than I was comfortable with, but I saw the benefits of belonging to a board such as this so I stayed. Hearing of trolls, and just certain people who have no problem making rude comments and having an opinion about EVERY thing- it kind of got to me. When I started feeling sick, having complications, and getting really depressed about my personal life, I stepped back from the DDC because all it took was for me to see someones snotty comment or someone trying to figure out a troll and my nausea seemed to heighten.

I am a very laid back, go with the flow, non-confrontational kind of gal. I HATE confrontation and people who feed off it. I tend to stay back from the crowd. In the beginning, I listen more than I talk, and I like to feel people out.

When I came back to the DDC recently it was because I was really hoping all the drama had died down because I really needed support and someone to talk to that was in my shoes.. and guess what- I got just that! I love it here. I just DON'T like how dramatic people are at times. The drama has FAR from died down. One slip of the tongue or misunderstanding and certain people here are ready to chop someone's head off. Why are so many people on edge? It really seems to affect everyone. I hate having to tip toe around people and hold my tongue for fear that someone might get offended. There are some people who I just wanna say Hey, you might wanna take that stick out of your *** before you sit down- it might be more comfortable that way.

I know I'm "new" here, but I don't plan to be "new" for long and I just had to put my 2 cents in. I don't like drama, but it seems more than a few of us here do. The name Drama Llamas rubs me every way but the right way. How do we find a way to all get along here? Geesh, I'd never make it in a sorority or on a reality show because I can't stand all the bit*hing and complaining that goes on among women.

I know this post may offend some, and I'm prepared for that, but I just want to feel like I'm part of a friendly, non-competitive, understanding environment. So far, it seems most of us are that way, except the select few who seem to be far too pushy and whiny for my comfort level. I don't think it's fair. Mama always said if you don't have anything NICE to say- don't say anything at all. It's that simple. If someone makes a post you don't like- don't comment. Why do people always feel the need to "put people in their place?"

OK I'm done- this could go on for ever. I hope people see my point and don't take this post the wrong way.
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  #2  
July 25th, 2011, 09:21 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,535
Unfortunately with these types of boards theres always going to be drama, I think moreso in the DDCs where huge groups of people who previously didnt know each other come together and who all have different ideas on how things 'should; be done.

I havent been round much so have missed all the drama but be assured this isnt the only DDC that has drama and certainly wont be the last.

I think once things settle down, I hope youll find that the boards can be pretty supportive.
  #3  
July 25th, 2011, 09:22 PM
~*~Tracy~*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 5,272
I somewhat understand what you're saying and all I can say is the ignore feature on JM is lovely . I think I've only ever had to block one user who I just couldn't stand anymore because she was just such a downer on everyone but it's there for a reason.
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  #4  
July 25th, 2011, 09:25 PM
MamaSugarplump's Avatar Jordan
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 981
I was JUST thinking of posting something similar to this and I'm glad you did. I HATE the drama and the people being just plain mean. I have kept my mouth shut on most everything about that kind of stuff until tonight... and I still said WAY less than what I thought and wanted to say. I totally agree with the "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all!"

It's okay for people to have other opinions but they don't have to be said in a way to hurt people's feelings or to bully others.
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  #5  
July 25th, 2011, 09:29 PM
anybodyinthere's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,286
My sorority was never as dramatic as this board, lol!

I think people are on edge and untrusting because there was a huge onslaught of trolling last week. We're still living in the aftermath of that and I think once our pregnancies get more interesting, our posts will focus more on that. This is the "uneventful" part of pregnancy. Well, for most people, anyway.
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  #6  
July 25th, 2011, 09:29 PM
TNTGarner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,275
When you get a pregnant group of ladies who are passionate about different things people are going to disagree. It is also hard to tell when someone is being sarcastic or anything else for that matter by text. Drama is going to happen in any forum of this nature. There are also a lot of non first time moms who have opinions and share knowledge and want to make sure the first time moms out there get correct information. Heck there are a lot of first time moms here that are knowledgeable. We have had many arguments on here and will have many more. But at the end of the day everyone involved has made up.
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  #7  
July 25th, 2011, 09:31 PM
BobbityBoo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Left Coast
Posts: 816
My last DDC was NOT like this at all! So it does kind of change my opinion on DDC's... not sure where I stand at this point.

But honestly, this DDC is WAY better than baby center!! Have you ever snooped through there?? Holy moly!
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  #8  
July 25th, 2011, 09:34 PM
mom 2 Caden & Jordynn
Join Date: May 2011
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*~Tracy~*~ View Post
I somewhat understand what you're saying and all I can say is the ignore feature on JM is lovely . I think I've only ever had to block one user who I just couldn't stand anymore because she was just such a downer on everyone but it's there for a reason.
Wait?! What?! There's an ignore??? Where!!??? Shouldn't have told me that!
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  #9  
July 25th, 2011, 09:36 PM
MamaSugarplump's Avatar Jordan
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 981
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlpea82 View Post
Wait?! What?! There's an ignore??? Where!!??? Shouldn't have told me that!
LOL I was thinking that, too. How do we do that?!
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Addison Pearl Wright - Born 1/4/12!!!
  #10  
July 25th, 2011, 09:37 PM
~*~Tracy~*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 5,272
go to your 'user cp' at the top of the screen and one of the options on the left will be 'edit ignore list'.
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  #11  
July 25th, 2011, 09:38 PM
DeepSouthMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Fort Worth, TX.
Posts: 6,713
Ok, first of all, if you don't like the drama, you DO NOT post threads talking about it. Seriously?? Come on.

Secondly, most of what goes on here is more than "one slip of the tongue or misunderstanding". If you read through the posts you will see that the people who start the drama tend to be the ones who aren't outspoken and tell it like it is. If they were, there would be no drama because then there would be no lies, no contradictions, no backtracking.

You want a drama free DDC? Then stop pointing it out!
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  #12  
July 25th, 2011, 09:41 PM
TNTGarner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,275
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepSouthGirl View Post
Ok, first of all, if you don't like the drama, you DO NOT post threads talking about it. Seriously?? Come on.

Secondly, most of what goes on here is more than "one slip of the tongue or misunderstanding". If you read through the posts you will see that the people who start the drama tend to be the ones who aren't outspoken and tell it like it is. If they were, there would be no drama because then there would be no lies, no contradictions, no backtracking.

You want a drama free DDC? Then stop pointing it out!
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  #13  
July 25th, 2011, 09:44 PM
-Anna-'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 8,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepSouthGirl View Post
Ok, first of all, if you don't like the drama, you DO NOT post threads talking about it. Seriously?? Come on.

Secondly, most of what goes on here is more than "one slip of the tongue or misunderstanding". If you read through the posts you will see that the people who start the drama tend to be the ones who aren't outspoken and tell it like it is. If they were, there would be no drama because then there would be no lies, no contradictions, no backtracking.

You want a drama free DDC? Then stop pointing it out!


If you go back to the "DRAMA" you are referring to, you will see that we were just offering support in the beginning until the OPer kept complaining about it. I specifically remember posting something along the lines of, "Hang in there, you will make it soon." and then again an, "I'm sorry."
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  #15  
July 25th, 2011, 09:52 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: washington state.
Posts: 21,341
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this is a parenting board, there will be drama...more to come im sure, wait until the babies get here.

thats the only thing i dont like about talking to people online and i cant get this out enough you can not tell someones tone by reading what they type. i mean we can try but who knows it could be happy, snarky, sarcastic etc.
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Nessa proud married working mother of three kids in Washington state. Trying to raise our family of five as LDS. Taking life one day at a time.
Jordan - 6 yr; Stan - 4 yr; & Tyler - 2 yr.
  #16  
July 25th, 2011, 09:53 PM
white.house's Avatar Kelli
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southeastern, USA
Posts: 11,344
We may not be the most politically correct board, but we sure are the most entertaining

I would like to use the disclaimer: I AM PREGNANT for any future statements I have that might offend someone Just kidding!
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jude lawrence [11.9.12]

forever loving our best girl, finley [born still 10.30.11]
  #17  
July 25th, 2011, 09:56 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: washington state.
Posts: 21,341
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who do you think is "dramatic" whiny and pushy?? i havnt seen anyone that struck me as being whiny or pushy.
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Nessa proud married working mother of three kids in Washington state. Trying to raise our family of five as LDS. Taking life one day at a time.
Jordan - 6 yr; Stan - 4 yr; & Tyler - 2 yr.
  #18  
July 25th, 2011, 09:56 PM
TNTGarner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,275
I was trying to figure out a way to use Santa man but I just couldnt work him in
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  #19  
July 25th, 2011, 09:56 PM
mom 2 Caden & Jordynn
Join Date: May 2011
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 200
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepSouthGirl View Post
Ok, first of all, if you don't like the drama, you DO NOT post threads talking about it. Seriously?? Come on.

Secondly, most of what goes on here is more than "one slip of the tongue or misunderstanding". If you read through the posts you will see that the people who start the drama tend to be the ones who aren't outspoken and tell it like it is. If they were, there would be no drama because then there would be no lies, no contradictions, no backtracking.

You want a drama free DDC? Then stop pointing it out!
OOPS! **Sweeps DRAMA under the rug** Shhhhh! Maybe if we ignore it, it will be like it's not there!

Oh PLEASE! REALLY?? If I didn't care, I wouldn't mention it. Obviously, I point it out because people need to know that sometimes their words really do hurt and are a bit unnecessary. Your proved my point exactly by your comment. You could have easily kept your comment to yourself if you didn't like what I had to say. But maybe you just need to be heard. Notice, some people actually agree with my post, so I know I'm not alone.

And again thanks ANNA for shedding some light my way! I will pay closer attention.
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  #20  
July 25th, 2011, 09:57 PM
TNTGarner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,275
I think I need to go to bed now LOL
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