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Unsolicited Advice...


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  #1  
July 27th, 2011, 03:09 PM
LilBecca's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Suburbs of Chicago
Posts: 443
It really ticked me off today to find my great Aunt and cousin were both discussing back and forth on MY fb page about how I must not be eating properly. I had posted wks ago that I was having trouble working more than 3 hours without having to take a break. (I work in retail and am constantly on my feet and running back and forth to help customers and clean up after them). Even so, I still had gone in and asked the dr. about it. She checked me out and she confirmed what I thought, that I was overdoing it and she sent my work a note requesting I rest for 5 minutes every 3-4 hours.

BUT my family seems to think that that just cannot be the case! That that never happened to them and there MUST be something terribly wrong with me. Like, I'm not following a proper diet and I must not be taking my prenatals regularly. Which, btw they are totally wrong. I eat healthy and take my vitamins every day like clockwork. But do they listen to me? NO! Well, let's just say they have temporarily lost their ability to comment on my posts.

It really irks me when people think they know my body better than I do just because they've gone through pregnancy too. Every woman and pregnancy is different. Why don't they get that? I understand that they might just be concerned but why not ask me privately first?? I just don't like being the center of the gossip mill.

OK... now I feel better! Just had to get that off my chest!
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  #2  
July 27th, 2011, 03:13 PM
~SarahDid~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would be upset too. Especially on such a public space such as Facebook. If someone has a concern about me I will gladly listen with an open mind, there are better ways of going about it though. I'm sorry they were being so rude and hope they understand why you feel the way you do.
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  #3  
July 27th, 2011, 03:20 PM
white.house's Avatar Kelli
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southeastern, USA
Posts: 11,407
Oh goodness.... that would drive me crazy!!! There is nothing worse than someone who THINKS they know best for YOU (when actually they don't know the whole story).

Not to be negative, but for me, it got worse when the baby came.
Whenever he cried other people always thought THEY knew what was wrong. Why they would assume that when I am with him all day every day and know him inside and out... I'll never know.
He'd cry and someone would say, "Oh he must be wet." Um no. He doesn't cry when his diaper is full, but thanks.......

I'm sorry!
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  #4  
July 27th, 2011, 03:42 PM
~*~Tracy~*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 5,272
I hate hate hate unsolicited advice So rude for them to be discussing it on fb, grab some manners!
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  #5  
July 27th, 2011, 03:43 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: United States
Posts: 20,687
Boo on them!
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  #6  
July 27th, 2011, 03:53 PM
BobbityBoo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Left Coast
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KelliMom View Post
Oh goodness.... that would drive me crazy!!! There is nothing worse than someone who THINKS they know best for YOU (when actually they don't know the whole story).

Not to be negative, but for me, it got worse when the baby came.
Whenever he cried other people always thought THEY knew what was wrong. Why they would assume that when I am with him all day every day and know him inside and out... I'll never know.
He'd cry and someone would say, "Oh he must be wet." Um no. He doesn't cry when his diaper is full, but thanks.......

I'm sorry!
Ugh! That is the friggin worst!! I hate when a relative or friend "steals" the baby, they get fussy and then try to fix him/her because they of course are baby whisperers! Then they end up way pissed off! Just give them back to me so I can take care of it!
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  #7  
July 27th, 2011, 04:20 PM
Mrs. Harris's Avatar Praying for #2
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Location: SoCal
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I can't be on my feet very long either...I drink tons of water, eat healthy and take my prenatals. If I was still working right now I would need a lot of breaks...what is so weird about a pregnant woman needing to sit down lol
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  #8  
July 27th, 2011, 04:23 PM
SmilesAreContagious's Avatar Rheanna Mommy-2-b
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Los Angeles County, CA
Posts: 2,643
Thats annoying, Im sorry! I am not even working anymore because I get so exhaused so easily. Thank goodness, I have support though and not the other way around. People obviously have nothing better going on that they want to focus on you and make false observations. That is extremely immature of them. I dont know how up front you are but I would message both of them telling them how much u dont appriciate them talking about you like that. Thats so rude. Im sorry.
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  #9  
July 27th, 2011, 05:52 PM
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its amazing how suddenly everyone becomes an expert on you and your baby when you get pregnant/give birth. I know most people are genuinely concerned but they dont go about the right way of showing it
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  #10  
July 27th, 2011, 06:29 PM
AnnaandRyansMommy's Avatar Sarah
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,135
I would be so mad! Especially that they posted all this on your facebook page. What were they thinking?!?
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  #11  
July 27th, 2011, 06:32 PM
ladybugwoods's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Allenhurst, GA
Posts: 978
I'm sorry that happened. People can be such dingle-lings!! What kind of medical degrees do they have?? It sucks but there are some people you have to just put on mute.
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  #12  
July 27th, 2011, 09:01 PM
LilBecca's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Suburbs of Chicago
Posts: 443
K, I asked them nicely to talk to me privately about any concerns they may have. They weren't so nice so I just blocked them frm reading or commenting on posts until they know how to play nice.
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  #13  
July 28th, 2011, 07:41 AM
jesridge's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 1,456
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilBecca View Post
K, I asked them nicely to talk to me privately about any concerns they may have. They weren't so nice so I just blocked them frm reading or commenting on posts until they know how to play nice.
You go girl!

You know how you get that sort of warm fuzzy feeling from being the experience person somewhere? (I compare it to when I have to train people at work-- I feel like I'm on my game, and they're fumbling around with whatever they're trying to learn, having problems with it, etc.) It seems like when it comes to family/friends/whoever giving unsolicited advice, they like to compare our pregnancies with theirs, and will act like the experts because they get that warm fuzzy feeling from having done it without complications or speedbumps, etc. Sorry, it's just not that cut and dry, people!

Sorry you're experiencing this. I hear it's only going to get worse for all of us, too! Sounds like you have good responses to it, though, so good for you!
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  #14  
July 28th, 2011, 09:07 AM
LilBecca's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Suburbs of Chicago
Posts: 443
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesridge View Post
You go girl!

You know how you get that sort of warm fuzzy feeling from being the experience person somewhere? (I compare it to when I have to train people at work-- I feel like I'm on my game, and they're fumbling around with whatever they're trying to learn, having problems with it, etc.) It seems like when it comes to family/friends/whoever giving unsolicited advice, they like to compare our pregnancies with theirs, and will act like the experts because they get that warm fuzzy feeling from having done it without complications or speedbumps, etc. Sorry, it's just not that cut and dry, people!

Sorry you're experiencing this. I hear it's only going to get worse for all of us, too! Sounds like you have good responses to it, though, so good for you!
Usually I'm pretty laid back, but if I feel strongly about something, I'll speak up. And when I do speak up, I get my point across clearly.
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MC- Sweet Pea, EDD 10/10/09, left us at 6 weeks. MMC-Baby Peapod, EDD 02/24/2011, left us at 8 weeks.




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