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New Moms what is your biggest secret fear???


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  #1  
August 2nd, 2011, 03:48 PM
Laurenella's Avatar "Avery's Mommy"
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 377
I'm not talking about not being a good/bad parent fear but what is the thing your afraid to even say out loud cause it worries you THAT much or its embarrassing.. I'll start first cause its big embarrassing but I have always worried about it before I even found out I was pregnant and its super vain..


I am totally afraid about the "lady parts" being ripped to shreds and how do they say it?? "Never be the same again!!!" Yea that totally freaks me out I like my stuff just exactly how it is and I feel weird that it might be different for my SO when we make love.. AND FOR ME!
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  #2  
August 2nd, 2011, 04:00 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 252
I fear for my lady parts. For my hips getting wider and staying wider. I'm afraid of getting fat. I'm terrified of the whole birthing process in general, to the point I refuse to watch A Baby Story...I'm cringing at the "healing process" of the lady parts...

Shall I continue?
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  #3  
August 2nd, 2011, 04:02 PM
.ingrid.'s Avatar TTC #2 on clomid
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 917
Good topic!!

I think as an upcoming parent, it's hard to just pick one!

I think for me it's "romance" and a lot of worries fall under that catagory.

I'm worried that my SO won't find me attractive - Will I lose the baby weight? Will my boobs ever be the same? Will my 'bits' be okay? Will my SO still be attracted to me after he see's the angles of me that he will during labour?

Will we have time/feel the need to DTD - We'll be sleep deprived, busy, going through changes, stressed.

Will we have time for us - Lack of time, baby sitters and if we were to be given a night off would be even have the energy to go out for dinner or go out for drinks with friends?

I know our relationship will change, but I truly hope the dynamics of "us" with or without a child.. don't change too much!
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  #4  
August 2nd, 2011, 04:27 PM
jaelin's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: virginia
Posts: 756
I'm worried about certian unwanted body functions happening during labor... *blush* don't some women puke and pee and poop during labor?? like..involuntarily?? I seriously hope that don't happen..

I'm also worried about getting my body back. I'm a dancer. its my life, I NEED my body back.

Also, this sounds so selfish, but I'm worried about lifestyle changes. I don't want to feel like I HAVE to be a typical soccer mom. I hope I have a little gypsy kid who can handle festivals and traveling and such...

that being said- I want this child more than anything. those are just those nagging little worries I don't dare to say out loud to anyone.
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  #5  
August 2nd, 2011, 04:46 PM
Laurenella's Avatar "Avery's Mommy"
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 377
Hey Jen absolutely NO judgement here!!!! Its ok for us to have our selfish worries; I guess that is why I posted this HERE we are becoming friends we are all pregnant and are all worried about this and that..

I'm worried about the body functions during labor too!! I'm hoping I'm so distracted I don't care!
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  #6  
August 2nd, 2011, 04:49 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 629
Not a first time mom but I am terrified of delivery.... which is weird b/c I wasn't with the first 2. I was so fortunate with them though (besides crazy long labor with DS) no catheters, no ripping or tearing, no inductions, no bodily functions during labor...... I figure my luck has probably ran out and i'll have to be induced, get a 4th degree tear, have catheter, and do all the bodily functions.
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  #7  
August 2nd, 2011, 04:50 PM
hoping4more
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i dont have any worries left, this is my 4th. i wanted to let some first timers know though, that yes even though some things change, its not horrible.

as far as ladie's bits go, they go back to normal. i have torn with all 3 of my labors same place every time. they sew you back up and hubby cant tell where it ever happened.

the first few wekks after delivering you will feel upset about your body, but it goes back mostly. you will probably have larger hips, but nothing crazy!

as far as boobs go, well that is what upsets me the most, but i have heard that taking fenugreek and other herbs can help in that area. i was in the process when i became pregnant, so had to stop and never used it lonf enough to really tell.

i think its harder to think about now, before you go threw it all. i can tell you though that hubby is more attracted to me now then he ever was before. men like curves

for the dancer, after delivering 3 kids, i still have a 26 inch waist.. some times even smaller i fluctuate, and im well toned. eat well and exercise. i was a gymnast when i was younger never got into it very far, but i have always been physically fit, sao i know your worries. dont stress out after you have baby, just concentrate on your goals and you'll be there before you know it.
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  #8  
August 2nd, 2011, 04:51 PM
sarah_19_nz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,473
I am a 'been there done that' mum so I probably don't qualify to answer on this thread BUT it is interesting to read all your 'fears' as I had ALL those mentioned above and more!

I can tell you that things DO heal, even though you think they NEVER will.

Not everyone pukes, pee's and poo's during childbirth, and if you do I'm pretty sure you either won't notice or care at the time!

Breastfeeding DEFINITELY helps with the weight loss, post baby.

Yes, sleep deprivation and a new baby changes your life and dynamics dramatically, but it is all so worth it in the end!

This is all just my opinion and experience but I thought I'd share. It can't be that bad if even the most fearful of us go back and have another right!?

You will all be/do great!!
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  #9  
August 2nd, 2011, 05:43 PM
Coby Jaylen Aubriya mom
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 874
im worried about going #2 while pushing, also im worried about maybe having to get a c-section. ive never had one before and i have no reason to need one.. but it still worries me. Im also worried about getting gestational diabetes (even though i didnt get them before)
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  #10  
August 2nd, 2011, 05:55 PM
jen44's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,291
I have a confession: I was secretly happy that I had to have a c-section (because of a prior surgery) with my first baby because I was TERRIFIED about pooping on the table.
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  #11  
August 2nd, 2011, 06:01 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
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I think my biggest fear is how big am I going to get and stretch marks. I'm pretty active so I know I can get the baby weight off, it's just what's going to happen to it before then lol? So, I'd say stretch marks are my biggest fear but I'm hoping that since my mom didn't get them then maybe I'll luck out too.
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  #12  
August 2nd, 2011, 06:09 PM
sarha81's Avatar First-time Mommy to Jake
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 1,295
Love this post, the honest responses and the reassurance from the veterans. Thanks mommies!

here goes
1. I'm worried that for the next 6 months, I'm going to continue to wait for the "bad news" that something is wrong with baby. How do I relax?
2. I'm totally freaked out about public pooh (yuck) and DH wanting to see the whole crowning thing, then never wanting to dtd with me again.
3. I've still got puberty stretch marks, so coco butter isn't gonna help me.
4.and finally when baby comes, I have no idea how I'm going be the maid, chef, work 3 jobs, and learn to be a mom, ...

But despite these worries, I know it will all work out, and that little one in my arms will make these fears forgettable.
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  #13  
August 2nd, 2011, 07:23 PM
Shannon1978's Avatar ~Formerly Donkey Lemonade
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 780
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah_19_nz View Post
I am a 'been there done that' mum so I probably don't qualify to answer on this thread BUT it is interesting to read all your 'fears' as I had ALL those mentioned above and more!

I can tell you that things DO heal, even though you think they NEVER will.

Not everyone pukes, pee's and poo's during childbirth, and if you do I'm pretty sure you either won't notice or care at the time!

Breastfeeding DEFINITELY helps with the weight loss, post baby.

Yes, sleep deprivation and a new baby changes your life and dynamics dramatically, but it is all so worth it in the end!

This is all just my opinion and experience but I thought I'd share. It can't be that bad if even the most fearful of us go back and have another right!?

You will all be/do great!!
I completely agree! You guys will do great. Things will change, but when you hold your sweet baby in your arms everyday you forget all about those things!
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  #14  
August 2nd, 2011, 07:26 PM
CaseyCase's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 713
Totally not digging the whole 'pooping on the table' situation..
And, the selfish part of me kinda hopes my boobs remain, um.. how they usually are..
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  #15  
August 2nd, 2011, 07:44 PM
Bella11356's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 819
I'm afraid of getting a epidural. I do not want one, but i don't want to be in tremendous pain either...the idea of tearing sorta bothers me, but both SO and I were little tiny tiny babies so that comforts me a little. In my mind it means our baby won't be huge.

Pooping and peeing and all that on the table doesn't bother me at all. It happens all the time, I'm sure and if it happens with me, i won't be the first and i won't be the last.

Someone else said this one too, just that for the next 6 months wondering if the baby is ok, and being parinoid that something bad will happen. I STILL haven't been to the dr yet, I go in a week, and I made my appt 5 weeks ago, so I'm VERY scared something is wrong with the baby now and I just don't know it yet. That I will get to the dr and she's like oh sorry the heart isn't beating. I have no symptoms of anything being wrong, but that doesnt calm my fears any really.
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Last edited by Bella11356; August 2nd, 2011 at 10:52 PM.
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  #16  
August 2nd, 2011, 08:06 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,191
So I did poop on the table with #4. They very quickly took it away. It's so normal for the Dr. and nurses to witness that. When you are in that moment of pushing, you kinda just forget all those worries and focus on pushing. I don't know if it was alot or a little. I just wanted the baby out.

I had to have a c-section for the twins #5 and #6. Then another for #7 after my attempted VBAC failed. Instead of being all sad about the c-section, I switched my perspective to, I survived a c-sec and conquered my fear, then on the next one, I survived another c-section and conquered my fear of having to be put under. I was so fearful of both those things, but now I look at it differently.
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  #17  
August 3rd, 2011, 01:26 AM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
The only thing that I am afraid of is SIDS. I'm not afraid of the labor b/c I know that I can only plan ahead so much. It's pretty much going to happen how it's going to happen. I may or may not get an epi. I may or may not need a c-section. I may or may not poop. Either way, I'm sure that as soon as that baby come out screaming, I won't mind if I shat everywhere! lol. But SIDS scares the **** out of me. I don't think I will be able to sleep because I will just be so paranoid for that entire first year.
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  #18  
August 3rd, 2011, 01:33 AM
sarah_19_nz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,473
Quote:
Originally Posted by DueFeb2012 View Post
The only thing that I am afraid of is SIDS. I'm not afraid of the labor b/c I know that I can only plan ahead so much. It's pretty much going to happen how it's going to happen. I may or may not get an epi. I may or may not need a c-section. I may or may not poop. Either way, I'm sure that as soon as that baby come out screaming, I won't mind if I shat everywhere! lol. But SIDS scares the **** out of me. I don't think I will be able to sleep because I will just be so paranoid for that entire first year.
Man I LOL'ed reading this! "I won't mind if I shat everywhere!" hehehe

Tis true, for the first year I worried about SIDS, even when DD was more or less sleeping through the night I still had to get up and check on her if I woke in the night. I HIGHLY recommend the angelcare movement and sound monitors!!! They are SUCH piece of mind! After DD stopping breathing (due to reflux) it was essential for my sanity. I LOVE it and will use again for this baby.
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  #19  
August 3rd, 2011, 02:39 AM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
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Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
Thanks for the recommendation. I'll totally look in to it. lol =]
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  #20  
August 3rd, 2011, 06:27 AM
Clare's Avatar Wishy
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To be honest, my only fear is actually giving birth. I am absolutely terrifed!
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