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Some people should NOT be mothers...VENT


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  #1  
September 15th, 2011, 03:47 PM
Bella11356's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 819
Ughh I'm so upset and frustrated...I'm trying not to pass judgement on this girl and the situation but it's not working so good.

I worked with this girl at the restaurant and she was only there a few months. She can't keep a job at one place long because people start to realize just how dumb she really is and that she's worthless and they fire her. She always calls in and just overall lazy. Lives with her mother, she's like 22 I think, which isn't a big deal I lived with my mom too at that age, but mommy pays for everything! Car, gas, phone, insurance, the whole nine yards. All of this girls money goes to smoking, drinking, and popping pills and cocaine. Not to mention she's sleeping with someone new every week.
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And now she's pregnant!! She couldn't keep a house plant alive let alone be responsible for a human being!! This is one of those times I'm like God why?!? there are women all of the world who desperately trying to have a child. They take care of themselves, they have good jobs and a good support system, and yet they can't conceive. Than you have this girl, who could care less about having a baby and wants it as an accessory...

It just makes me so mad, I just want to grab her and shake her and like *** are you thinking?!?
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  #2  
September 15th, 2011, 04:04 PM
JTsquared's Avatar Co-Host of Feb 2012 PR
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Location: Akron, Ohio
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That is very frustrating. My brother and his wife, who are the best parents in the world, tried to have kids for 10 years before adopting two beautiful children. It kills me that people who shouldn't have kids do, while people that should have kids can't.
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  #3  
September 15th, 2011, 04:47 PM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Proud Mama to 5 girls
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Im sorry that is hard try and not let it bug you it is so sad how many don't deserve what they get handed

I have a good friend(I love her but don't like her much)and she is a horrible mother I have trouble even talking to her it effects me so bad

I wanted another baby sooooo bad but we had not even decided on the vasectomy reversal and she got pg twice and ended it both times it changed the way I see her for sure )=
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  #4  
September 15th, 2011, 05:01 PM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
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I second that! I know someone who has been in and out of her kids lives for the past 15 years because of crystal meth, and prison. She got out (for the millionth time) and was clean (for the millionth time) and they just HANDED her the kids, thinking she may stay clean this time if she is rewarded with custody. She wasn't even out for a month when she got them. She is living with a man who has been arrested for sexual battery of a minor TWICE. I have to admit, out of everyone in the world, I disliked her the most when TTC.
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  #5  
September 15th, 2011, 05:11 PM
Kitusne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have mixed feelings on that issue. Granted, it sounds like her habits are not very safe for a fetus if they continue... My problem with saying some people are so much more deserving is that things are not always what they seem. I'm not justifying her behavior or saying she should be a parent.

My SO's family said I should abort my baby because I am not financially able to give it the best of everything in life on my own, for example. That I would not be a good enough mother because I would have to budget to barely get by. Note that the above is because the father is not helping pay for the child. In fact, they said I should not be a mother because I did not have any common sense due to not sharing the viewpoint that the baby would be better off dead than raised by a mother alone.

Sorry, that concept just strikes a nerve, as there is such strong moral judgement attached to it.
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  #6  
September 15th, 2011, 05:13 PM
Bella11356's Avatar Super Mommy
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What gets me the most is the drug use! And I know she isn't going to stop because she's pregnant...she thought she was about three months ago and I remember her talking to me like...it was nothing. Not that she didn't have any emotion she was like oh I'm excited...but like it was just no big deal to pop out a kid! And I told her than...do you really think it's a good idea for you to have a baby right now? And her response to me was she was still on her moms insurance so it wouldn't cost that much...

Ugh
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  #7  
September 15th, 2011, 05:41 PM
Bella11356's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitusne View Post
I have mixed feelings on that issue. Granted, it sounds like her habits are not very safe for a fetus if they continue... My problem with saying some people are so much more deserving is that things are not always what they seem. I'm not justifying her behavior or saying she should be a parent.

My SO's family said I should abort my baby because I am not financially able to give it the best of everything in life on my own, for example. That I would not be a good enough mother because I would have to budget to barely get by. Note that the above is because the father is not helping pay for the child. In fact, they said I should not be a mother because I did not have any common sense due to not sharing the viewpoint that the baby would be better off dead than raised by a mother alone.

Sorry, that concept just strikes a nerve, as there is such strong moral judgement attached to it.
I do understand what your saying, just like I had a customer the other day tell me I wasn't going to be able to raise my baby as good as a married couple. For me it is just this girls habits and her lifestyle along with the immaturity. Regardless of what I think is a bad lifestyle or immaturity I think we can all agree cocaine use and popping prescription pills for recreational use is bad for her and the baby. All things like this are opinion and opened to judgement or what not...nobody is right or wrong.
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  #8  
September 15th, 2011, 11:21 PM
n8tsmomma's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitusne View Post
I have mixed feelings on that issue. Granted, it sounds like her habits are not very safe for a fetus if they continue... My problem with saying some people are so much more deserving is that things are not always what they seem. I'm not justifying her behavior or saying she should be a parent.

My SO's family said I should abort my baby because I am not financially able to give it the best of everything in life on my own, for example. That I would not be a good enough mother because I would have to budget to barely get by. Note that the above is because the father is not helping pay for the child. In fact, they said I should not be a mother because I did not have any common sense due to not sharing the viewpoint that the baby would be better off dead than raised by a mother alone.

Sorry, that concept just strikes a nerve, as there is such strong moral judgement attached to it.
You should hear the stuff I get for being a single parent. I support my child almost completely by myself his father pays $167 in child support which is nothing. I have friends that are married or in committed relationships raising multiple kids living almost completely off the government. Sure my children may not get everything they want but he is loved and cared for and that is what is important. Whats funny is people often do not think I am single and people have made comments about how lucky my husband and I am to have such a sweet boy.

Personally I think sometimes single mothers do it better because there is no one to contradict and bend or break the rules everything is enforced 100%.
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  #9  
September 16th, 2011, 01:33 AM
.ingrid.'s Avatar TTC #2 on clomid
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Location: Australia
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I have seen children changes lives of parents for the better..
It doesn't happen to everyone in the world, however I don't think there is any harm in having some faith in humanity
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  #10  
September 16th, 2011, 05:22 AM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
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Location: Louisiana
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Single or Married doesn't matter.

It isn't fair at all to say that either is better than the other. It's based on every single individual person and their individual situation.

I think we can ALL agree that drug use during pregnancy/parenting is problematic. It doesn't have anything to do with her being single. Married mothers use drugs too!

Ingrid, I read somewhere recently that men with higher levels of testosterone actually had dramatically reduced levels after becoming fathers. So, babies really can change everything! lol
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Last edited by BrittanyLBH; September 16th, 2011 at 05:25 AM.
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  #11  
September 16th, 2011, 06:56 AM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Proud Mama to 5 girls
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DueFeb2012 View Post
Single or Married doesn't matter.

It isn't fair at all to say that either is better than the other. It's based on every single individual person and their individual situation.

I think we can ALL agree that drug use during pregnancy/parenting is problematic. It doesn't have anything to do with her being single. Married mothers use drugs too!

Ingrid, I read somewhere recently that men with higher levels of testosterone actually had dramatically reduced levels after becoming fathers. So, babies really can change everything! lol
Very well said, my friend is not a bad mom because she is single she is a bad mom because she is a bad mom she leaves her kids with her mom all the time(her mom raised her 9 year old for the first 3 years of his life while she hung out with her abusive boyfriend

it is the choices you make that makes you a bad parent
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Karrara 9 1/2 01/11/05, Kaiah 8 07/1/06, Kayda 6 1/2 01/12/08
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