Log In Sign Up

Why?


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To 2012 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
September 16th, 2011, 11:37 AM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
Why does EVERYONE think that just because this is my first baby, I am completely and totally lost and helpless and in desperate need of their advice?

I don't mean in here - this is obviously a place we come to ask questions and gain other perspectives & I think we can all appreciate input from each other... that's why we are here. It's the people in real life that I want to strangle.

I'm sick to death of hearing about the bottles I should used instead of the ones I already purchased,
and the music I need to play to my stomach to make the baby smarter,
and how I'm being neurotic for not wanting to be around cigarette smoke,
and that's it's irresponsible to do housework because I could accidentally fall and hurt the baby
& if DH cared about either of us, he'd do all the housework (on top of working 60+ hours a week)
oh and my personal favorite that fetal dopplers are dangerous and a sensitive science that should be left up to medical professionals only, if used at all... OMFG STFU!!!

We've been wanting this baby for our entire 4 years of marriage. I've read more about conception, pregnancy, and prenatal parenting than any of these people have read period, combined! At what point am I allowed to literally tell people, "NO! We will be doing things our way & we aren't interested in anyone's opinion."
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #2  
September 16th, 2011, 11:51 AM
Capns Girl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 1,693
Amen!! I got the same crap when I was pregnant with dd. Go with your gut and ignore all the nay-sayers! Especially when it comes to cleaning, all that extra movement is healthy for your baby, I just don't suggest using harsh chemicals! And its been proven that girls that sit on their butts when they are pregnant have a harder time with delivery than girls that don't.
__________________
Jessi, wife to Aaron (10/02/04), mom to Madilyn (4/01/09) and Lyla (02/01/12)


Reply With Quote
  #3  
September 16th, 2011, 11:55 AM
Kitusne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,205
I got a lot of that at first too. People seem to have settled down for the most part, thankfully.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
September 16th, 2011, 12:03 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 7,770
LOL Your list sounds like a mix of women that read way too many baby books and women that don't bother cracking one.

You're doing a great job! Movement is good for you, secondhand smoke is bad. Are these ladies crazy? And if you want to counter that music one, the entire music making people smarter was a study done on adults. Gotta wonder if it's safe to play something loud enough to be heard inside the uterus right now. Goodness, our heartbeats are already at the sound level of a vacuum cleaner to our babies!
__________________





Three on Earth and seven in Heaven. Hoping to get knocked up in 2016. Sometimes.

http://arwenart.com
Reply With Quote
  #5  
September 16th, 2011, 01:05 PM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
Oh, I know! I'm all for playing soft classical music for born babies, but as far as the fetus goes, I have actually read more bad things about playing music through earphones on your belly than good. To each his own and it's not in my nature to tell anyone what is best for them and their fetus... lol

I actually feel a LOT better now. Mood swing much? lol.

And YES my ****** MIL goes on and on about how she smoked during both her pregnancies & smoked around her babies constantly in a home with no ventilation. (Her entire ceiling is DARK ORANGE from 20 years of constant smoke.)... anyway, she claims that because of all these things and the fact that her kids were healthy and never sickly that it is preposterous that cigarettes could harm babies. I tried countless times to explain to her that "dramatically increased risk" doesn't mean that every symptom effects every person, but she still swears that there is no truth behind any of the studies that prove her wrong. She's the WORST! I could write a book with all the horrible 'advice' I get from her, like "a few shots won't hurt the baby".
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #6  
September 16th, 2011, 01:09 PM
JTsquared's Avatar Co-Host of Feb 2012 PR
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Akron, Ohio
Posts: 2,901
I think people just like to help. They feel good about themselves when they can pass along what they've learned to someone who hasn't been there yet. Sometimes it's a good thing, but sometimes its overwhelming and borderline annoying. All we can do is smile, nod, and let it go in one ear and out the other.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #7  
September 16th, 2011, 01:15 PM
n8tsmomma's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 918
I admit I am laughing a little at the music thing I play Queen and the Eagles to my belly. I would counter anything they say with a snide comment like "sorry my baby likes pop I see break dancing in the future!" As for being around second hand smoke the smell makes me want to puke I sit in between two smokers and anytime they come in from smoking I want to vomit.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #8  
September 16th, 2011, 01:20 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 698
I am sorry momma! Some people think they know it all! I am on #3 and I STILL get advice about everything! It gets REAL old!
__________________
Isabella - 06/16/2006 @ 6.14lbs
Jaxsen - 10/30/2009 @ 7.7lbs
Oakley - 1/17/2012 @ 7.0lbs

Reply With Quote
  #9  
September 16th, 2011, 01:22 PM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
Oh, I hate the Super Sense of Smell! lol

I had the intention of playing Elton John circa 1970 CONSTANTLY for baby. lol. Though, I have to admit that the image of a small child rocking out to Bicycle Race is the cutest thing I have ever imagined! lol

I guess the real problem I have is when I'm in a good mood and talking about the baby and I keep getting "Oh, no, don't do things that way. My way is better."
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #10  
September 16th, 2011, 02:26 PM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Proud Mama to 5 girls
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 7,558
Send a message via MSN to Iluvmybabies*
((hugs))People ALWAYS have to put in there two cents even if it is total crap, as a mom you have to trust your gut and not let anything others say get you down or make you question your choices
__________________
Summer(30)
Matt(37)DH & soulmate for 14yrs (V-Feb 20/08 * VR-Feb 18/11)
5 time HG survivor , AP Mama to 5 GIRLS & a BOY due Feb 2015
Karrara 9 1/2 01/11/05, Kaiah 8 07/1/06, Kayda 6 1/2 01/12/08
Katara 2 1/2 02/10/12, Korra 1 10/10/13

Reply With Quote
  #11  
September 16th, 2011, 04:56 PM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sterling Heights, MI
Posts: 19,640
wow. you know, i get it too, because i am attachment parent, not traditional. it's difficult and i'm sorry.
__________________
msjaQ- 28, pantheist AP detroit mama to:
timothy michael, august 31, 2003, 12:02pm, 8 lb. 4 oz., 21"- 38 wks.
melissa may, april 7, 2006, 1:31pm, 7 lb. 10.5 oz., 19.5"- 36.5 wks
nicholas michael, january 31, 2010, 5:12pm, 5 lb. 11 oz., 18.25"- 37.1 wks
damon michael, january 21, 2012, 1:31am, 6 lb. 14 oz., 20", 38 wks
rainbow baby left me at 6-1/2 weeks on 09.08.12~ never forgotten, sweet child


Reply With Quote
  #12  
September 16th, 2011, 05:39 PM
.ingrid.'s Avatar TTC #2 on clomid
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 917
... I'd simply tell some one to back off if it became consistent.
I'm not at all shy, so saying what I'm thinking comes naturally almost. I get that it's not as simple as that for everyone.
I've already had to say to one person "your constant opinions offend me. Please only share when asked, you're making me doubt my abilities".
And I left it there
__________________
Ingrid: 26, Husband: 27, Ezra: 16 months

Starting a clomid journey!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
September 16th, 2011, 06:30 PM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
Lmbo. It's not that I don't want to... it's that DH's family (where 99% of it is coming from) is the type that if you say ANYTHING remotely defiant, all hell will break loose & they will all get involved.

For example, one time I was on the phone with DH and and he made a joke that since he was having to work so late, he deserved a BJ when he got home & I laughed and called him a butt-head. MIL DEMANDED to know why I called him a name and what we were fighting about & when I tried to explain to her that we weren't fighting and that the conversation was kind of personal, so I'd rather not repeat what was said, she threw a tantrum and shouted that I was in her house and that anything said in her house is her business and took the newspaper that I had left on the coffee table for her to read and threw it at me, shouting at me to get my **** out of her living room & told everyone some warped version of events in which I said "It's none of your business, *****" and the entire family got involved and ganged up one me. *sigh*

Sorry, but I have a MIL story for just about any circumstance you could imagine.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #14  
September 16th, 2011, 07:21 PM
Lovemykiddos!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ulysses, NE
Posts: 8,341
Send a message via AIM to Lovemykiddos!
My mil is psychotic too ((((hugs))))) I can tell u that psychotic in laws never get better....sorry
__________________
Rachael wife to Shaun, mommy to Jarrett (11) Serenity (3) and Beauden (born 3/3/12) stepmom to Kamryn (9)
Reply With Quote
  #15  
September 16th, 2011, 07:39 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 816
Anytime anyone gives you unsolicited adivce and tries to say that what you want to do or are doing with the baby is wrong is the point when you have the right to say no, you're doing it your way. Just stand up for yourself and your baby and tell them that you are doing it this way and if it is wrong you will learn that on your own and don't need their negativity. How rude of them! I hate it when older people try to say that when they were pregnant or had kids they did such and such and nothing bad happened. Yeah, well there has been lots of studies and research done since they were pregnant or had kids and things (smoking and drinking) have been proven and shown to be bad for you. Reminds me of the wearing seatbelts and using carseats issue, way back then they didn't use them, but now they are required because it is proven to be safer. Keep doing what you think is right for you and your family and ignore those dumb comments.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #16  
September 16th, 2011, 09:20 PM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovemykiddos! View Post
My mil is psychotic too ((((hugs))))) I can tell u that psychotic in laws never get better....sorry
Ikr?! If anything, she's WORSE than she was 5 years ago!! lol. Oh, yes most definitely worse. lol
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #17  
September 16th, 2011, 09:27 PM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
Quote:
Originally Posted by eandbabymama View Post
Anytime anyone gives you unsolicited adivce and tries to say that what you want to do or are doing with the baby is wrong is the point when you have the right to say no, you're doing it your way. Just stand up for yourself and your baby and tell them that you are doing it this way and if it is wrong you will learn that on your own and don't need their negativity. How rude of them! I hate it when older people try to say that when they were pregnant or had kids they did such and such and nothing bad happened. Yeah, well there has been lots of studies and research done since they were pregnant or had kids and things (smoking and drinking) have been proven and shown to be bad for you. Reminds me of the wearing seatbelts and using carseats issue, way back then they didn't use them, but now they are required because it is proven to be safer. Keep doing what you think is right for you and your family and ignore those dumb comments.
Oh, I know!!! Every time she says "oh, well they didn't do that when I had my kids" I'm like "that was over 20 years ago!!! a LOT of things have changed since the 1980's" and a lot of this stuff, was common knowledge even then, everyone was telling her that smoking increased the risk of SIDS. Stubborn mule she is, she did it anyway.

I did get fed up once and told her that saying that smoking is perfectly safe because it didn't hurt her babies (btw SIL has awful allergies & DH has the worst case of ADHD I have ever seen) is like saying that she wrecked her car and didn't die, so car wrecks must be totally safe. It's illogical. But try telling that to Mrs. Methadone. *sigh*
__________________

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:15 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0