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  #1  
September 18th, 2011, 09:13 PM
LShumate1010's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Everett, WA
Posts: 732
So today my little sister who is 18, dropped outta high school last year, and has no job is pregnant. My mom just called me. She has been with the same guy for a year and a half. I am happy but at the same time I am worried. Both of my mom's baby girls are both pregnant! She will be due 3 months after me. She has had a harder life then me and I hope this turns her around as a person and sees that she is going to have a responsibility for the rest of her life...Also I dont want this to be a competition...anyone been pregnant while your sibling was? Any advice? I know every child is a gift and I hope that she has a happy and healthy 9 months. She is my sister and I love her, but she has the mind of a 16 year old still. Like I said I just hope this experience turns her life around for the better. Im glad my mom is there with her during this time because my sister has had a tough life and I have had a very easy one compared to her so I feel that its best that she is with my mom. So what now???? I still hope my family stays just as excited about me and that this doesnt damper my baby shower plans and limits gifts they had in mind. Anyone else felt this way before????
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  #2  
September 18th, 2011, 11:25 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
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No one in my family is pregnant right now, although three of my cousins all just gave birth about a month ago. Two of them were sisters and have pretty much the same situation as you. One was married and settled, the other was 18 and in high school. Both ended up getting the same amount of attention from the family and all three ended up having a joint shower. I wouldn't have wanted a shower with two other women but that's just me. They seemed to have made it work.
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  #3  
September 19th, 2011, 12:44 AM
RandE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,027
my little sister is pregnant right now too. Due 2 weeks after me. Irritates me a smidge. lol! Like she's stealing all my pregnant glory. Could be the hormones talking too....

Thankfully, we're half siblings so I don't have a whole lot of contact with her. Just stuff via FB.
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  #4  
September 19th, 2011, 01:08 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
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My sister and I were due a month apart during my last pregnancy. I was excited to share it with someone so close and we spent a lot of time talking about our shared experiences. I actually think that's the closest we've been. It was especially cool since we're 14 years apart and she thought she was done having kids 10 years ago. My parents treat our kids equally. They might try to provide more for her little boy since she is the only one working to support 4 kids, but that doesn't bother me because they are both provided for.

I think it's all in how you approach it. If you see it as a positive, non-competitive thing it'll be harder for anyone else to make it that way. Besides, 3 months is a good amount of time to where you really won't be sharing the spot light for the first few years. That age distance makes a huge difference developmentally for the first year or so and they won't really be at the same stages at the same time for a while. By then, you won't be worried about sharing the spotlight and competition.
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  #5  
September 19th, 2011, 01:57 AM
katiebug02's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Arkansas
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Me and my sister were both pregnant together my last pregnancy. I really enjoyed it and so did she. She's actually TTC again and we're hoping we'll get to share in the experience once again. It was really nice to have each other to lean on for support. It did not take away any pregnancy excitement at all.
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  #6  
September 19th, 2011, 03:13 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Indiana
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I would love to have someone to be pregnant with! But yeah in your case I can see why you would be concerned, since her baby was prob an accident and you feel like your planned baby needs top priority maybe? I would also be worried about her being burdensome to your "being pregnant together" relationship since she doesn't really have her life together.... I think you have normal feelings, I would feel the same
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  #7  
September 19th, 2011, 07:02 AM
Lovemykiddos!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My sister and I were pregnant at the same time for my last baby, it was mostly ok we lie in different states, but my family likes her more regardless, so she def kept the limelight lol. But it was still nice to have someone to talk to about pregnancy and now kids cuz our kids r only a couple months apart
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  #8  
September 19th, 2011, 07:35 AM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Proud Mama to 5 girls
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That is frustrating Im sorry, I hope it all works out perfect and you both grow and bond from this experience
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  #9  
September 19th, 2011, 08:21 AM
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My sister and I are both pregnant for the first time. Her EDD is January 14, and mine February 9th. My parents are so exited!
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  #10  
September 19th, 2011, 08:37 AM
jensma's Avatar Katie: mommy to Ty & Em
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 12,928
I was pregnant with my sil last year. It was fun, and now our boys are 10 months and 11 months (they're just 4 weeks apart). The only thing is everyone compares them b/c they're both boys. Esp my bil...tyler just started walking and now he's determined to get hudson to walk (he's the younger one). lol. I just have to remind myself they're different kids and will do things at their own pace. They do things differently already! lol

As for your sister: my mom was talking to a former student of hers whose son she is now teaching (she used to teach 3rd grade and now teaches computer). This girl had her son at 15, she said it totally changed her life. She went from hanging with the wrong crowd and going to end up in prison or dead to being a mom of children at 21. She readily admits it helped her change, so i hope it has the same effect on your sister!
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  #11  
September 19th, 2011, 08:56 AM
katylady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Oregon
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I was excited about my pregnancy, then I was notified that my step cousin is pregnant too. 18 senior in high school. I was a little upset cuz I've been ttc for over a year and then when I do get pregnant someone else is only due 2 days before me.

So guess you could say I'm a little jealous. She lives closer to my grandma and I was/am afraid that they'd pay more attention to my stepcousin than me. Sometimes I think how horrible to feel but that's the way I felt. That is until my grandma said that she'd love to drive up for the birth of the baby. I'm 10 hours by car and my stepcousin is 4 hours by car.

Just makes me know how much I mean to my family no matter the distance. Last year 3 friends and 1 co-worker we're pregnant at the same time. 3 of them due in the same month. I was horrible jealous cuz I felt like I was left out of something special. All my friends had boys and I'm having a girl. I feel like my baby shower is going to be showered full of pink things since they all have boys. Life/God works in mysterious ways.

Hope you find the postive in your situation. That would be the best way to go through your pregnancy.
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  #12  
September 19th, 2011, 09:15 AM
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I was pregnant with DH's stepmom with the other 2. We were 2 wks apart due date both times. We weren't close at all with them during DS and actually didn't even tell them I was pg until a month before he was born. With DD we were close and the hardest part was when we called to tell Dh's side of teh family, grandma, aunts, etc everybody said oh well did you hear Stephanie is pregnant too! The hardest part has been since then. Dh's dad doesn't get to be a grandpa really and that's hard on him you can tell.

I was also pregnant a week apart from my stepbrothers girlfriend and while we got along great my stepmom made the entire thing a competitioin and still did after the girls were born. Oh well she smilled first or she is really fat compared to Addi.... etc. I think I would enjoy being pg with my sister or even a few of my close friends.
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  #13  
September 19th, 2011, 09:26 AM
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My sister and I have been pregnant together during 3 different pregnancies. I'm super close to her and have never had any issues with competition. She is 6 years younger than me though, maybe that's why. I love that the cousins are close in age.
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  #14  
September 19th, 2011, 09:34 AM
Kitusne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I can see how that would be frustrating. I hope things work out well for you both.
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  #15  
September 19th, 2011, 10:03 AM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
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I was pregnant with my SIL last time. It was nice to have someone to talk to. My problem started after the birth. Her son was born a couple months before DD, and they were constantly being compared by my in-laws. Since DD ended up with autism the comparisons started to really sting when she got about 12 months. =P
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  #16  
September 19th, 2011, 10:25 AM
LShumate1010's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Everett, WA
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Yeah, its just in her case the negatives out way the positives. My mom is on disability and cant work, my dad collects unemployment. This past year they lost there car, house, and everything was ripped from them due to bankruptcy. My parents cannot support her and carry her through this. So she needs to grow up very fast. I want to talk to her so bad but she is in a place I have never been before....I cant imagine taking a test and saying oh ****. I cried my eyes out and was beaming ear to ear. My mom even is dubfounded. My sister has always been jealous of me and likes to jump on the bandwagon and she stopped her birth control 2 months back so my parents think she did this on purpose. Although I live 3000 miles away from home, she is still so jealous of me. Im not saying I have it all together but I have a career, car, license, roof over my head, husband, and food to eat. My sister lives with her bf in a towing company building as my parents lost our house and they now live in an rv and my sister has her own little trailer as well. I just feel so bad. My sisters' bf's mom is so excited and said they can live off food stamps and welfare but I think she needs to get it together for that baby. She doesnt believe in abortion so I am proud of her for that but I cant imagine being 18 and being pregnant. I just dont know what to say....sure puts a wee damper on my pregnancy because my mom will be with my sister and not me. My mom is my best friend and we just hope we can get through her head that life isnt a picture perfect dollhouse. I want to be there for her and let her know she will have support but she should want better for her baby then the bare minimum.
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  #17  
September 19th, 2011, 11:23 AM
Capns Girl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That is a tough situation. I hope that things work out well for both of you.
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  #18  
September 19th, 2011, 11:51 AM
mommy2kenzie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Saint Louis, Missouri
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I was pregnant at the same time as my sister with DD, but she was due 5 weeks after me. It angered me because she couldn't even afford to take care of my nephew at the time and should have been taking birth control. She was a single Mom, with no diploma, working a crappy job and I was married at the time and had tons of support so I think she was jealous of me. She actually had her baby shower on the day of my induction and my Mom barely made it to the hospital. Anyways, it is a really difficult situation trying to be happy for someone who you know shouldn't have put themselves in that position. I completely understand the feelings of not wanting someone to steal your thunder. But I hope she makes the right decision for herself and her child and all you can do is be there for her.
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  #19  
September 19th, 2011, 01:39 PM
HonestMamma's Avatar Bish!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LShumate1010 View Post
Yeah, its just in her case the negatives out way the positives. My mom is on disability and cant work, my dad collects unemployment. This past year they lost there car, house, and everything was ripped from them due to bankruptcy. My parents cannot support her and carry her through this. So she needs to grow up very fast. I want to talk to her so bad but she is in a place I have never been before....I cant imagine taking a test and saying oh ****. I cried my eyes out and was beaming ear to ear. My mom even is dubfounded. My sister has always been jealous of me and likes to jump on the bandwagon and she stopped her birth control 2 months back so my parents think she did this on purpose. Although I live 3000 miles away from home, she is still so jealous of me. Im not saying I have it all together but I have a career, car, license, roof over my head, husband, and food to eat. My sister lives with her bf in a towing company building as my parents lost our house and they now live in an rv and my sister has her own little trailer as well. I just feel so bad. My sisters' bf's mom is so excited and said they can live off food stamps and welfare but I think she needs to get it together for that baby. She doesnt believe in abortion so I am proud of her for that but I cant imagine being 18 and being pregnant. I just dont know what to say....sure puts a wee damper on my pregnancy because my mom will be with my sister and not me. My mom is my best friend and we just hope we can get through her head that life isnt a picture perfect dollhouse. I want to be there for her and let her know she will have support but she should want better for her baby then the bare minimum.
This is almost the exact situation with my SIL right now. The jealousy only got worse when her BF broke up with her. Right now it's at the point where we don't even speak to her because her jealousy has made her so self absorbed and hateful that it was becomming a problem in our lives, and we had to cut her out. It's sad, but it's the right decision for now.

I hope this doesn't happen with your sister. But, just be careful. You are going to be able to provide things for your child that she isn't, and it may upset her. However, it isn't your fault that she made the choices she did. I hope it all turns out.
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  #20  
September 19th, 2011, 01:53 PM
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I think that this has the potential to be difficult on both of you. Hopefully it will surprise you and turn out well, though. In the end, you are the lucky one in this situation, to be expecting a baby under much better circumstances. Hopefully others will celebrate your pregnancy no less bc of your sister's situation.
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