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Hormones flaring up????


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  #1  
September 20th, 2011, 07:42 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NW, Indiana
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I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones are not. But when we found we were pregnant, I was thrilled. We have been NTNP/TTC/TTCWMA since DD was born in Feb 07. We had pretty much given up hope and even sold most all of our baby things b/c the doctors said our next step would be AI and our insurance doesn't cover fertility so that was out of the question. It was left up to God, so needless to say, I thought everyone else would be thrilled too.

Since I've found out, no one has seemed happy but me and occassionally DD. She is very concerned about all the changes coming. DH hasn't been overly excited but that's just him and I thought maybe the money issues were a worry (since we certainly hadn't planned for this baby, financially we are not prepared). I have stayed positive through all of this.

But my family and DH's (even my coworkers) have been filling us with worry and doubt. "How can you possibly work full-time, attend school full-time and be a good wife/mother of 2?" I'll make do, God won't give me more than I can handle with his help. "Can't believe you guys got rid of all your baby stuff knowing you wanted more kids. That was pretty stupid/irresponisble." We hadn't planned this and didn't feel it would ever actually happen (although we hoped.) But we have not once asked for help, from anyone, we have a plan and we will be fine. We are getting name opinions out the wazoo. To the point I want to have the u/s tech lie and tell DH she can't tell what we are having just so we don't have to hear opinions for the next 5 months.

Now it's back to the how to raise your kids, and his mom is wanting to buy us things that we already have (a good friend gave me a lot of the big stuff). It just seems everywhere we turn there is controversy, unwanted opinions and negativity surrounding this pregnancy (financially we would be much better off without a second - but we don't care about that). I'm just starting to doubt myself and the pregnancy.

This baby is a gift from God and I've been over the moon with happiness but now, I can't help but wonder if everyone else is right. I mean I am the only one who is happy and thinks this can all work out okay. I'm starting to almost wish I wasn't pregnant. We are close to both our families and rely on a lot of help with DD from all of them b/c of crazy work/school schedules so it's not like I can just avoid them either. I'm so sad about this because I really want this baby and thought everyone else did too but now I can't help but doubt that.

I'm sorry for the long post, I just had to get that out. I don't really have anyone else I can talk to about it sicne they all seem to be against me.
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  #2  
September 20th, 2011, 08:25 AM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Proud Mama to 5 girls
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((hugs)) I am soooo sorry hun I wish people could just put aside there feelings about things and just show happiness for the people they love

Maybe if you feel comfortable talk to them and tell them how the comments make you feel, I hope everyone in your life can start showing you support and stop making you feel sad
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  #3  
September 20th, 2011, 08:28 AM
aogilvie's Avatar Super Mommy
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You know how people always say "There's never a good time to have a baby"? Well, I really think its true. Everything could always be a bit better, more secure, more "responsible", etc., but you know what? I think you guys are golden. You hoped and wished for a second baby and didn't think it would happen, so you planned your life around that. Plans change, so in turn, so did you. I think your family is going to be just fine, fantastic at that. Maybe its just taking your family a little bit more time to come around because they weren't expecting it. But I bet my bottom dollar that they will be over the moon when the baby arrives and all that negative stuff will just go by the wayside.

I agree with you 100%, things WILL work out. You'll find a way to make your lives wonderful, I promise. Try not to regret your pregnancy, you'll probably just end up "regretting" that the most when the little kiddo finally arrives
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  #4  
September 20th, 2011, 08:34 AM
Lovemykiddos!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im sorry, I understand how u feel. All of DH's family is against us getting pregnant. We separated the end of last year and it lasted till spring, come summer when things were going better we decided to get pregnant, there r and always will be problems, but cuz of the past issues his family wants nothing to do with the pregnancy and have at times tried to convince DH that its not his. Luckily I can simply avoid them. Im not sure what to do in your case, except maybe sit them down and tell them what u r feeling/thinking and see if that helps??
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  #5  
September 20th, 2011, 09:40 AM
Capns Girl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aogilvie View Post
You know how people always say "There's never a good time to have a baby"? Well, I really think its true. Everything could always be a bit better, more secure, more "responsible", etc., but you know what? I think you guys are golden. You hoped and wished for a second baby and didn't think it would happen, so you planned your life around that. Plans change, so in turn, so did you. I think your family is going to be just fine, fantastic at that. Maybe its just taking your family a little bit more time to come around because they weren't expecting it. But I bet my bottom dollar that they will be over the moon when the baby arrives and all that negative stuff will just go by the wayside.

I agree with you 100%, things WILL work out. You'll find a way to make your lives wonderful, I promise. Try not to regret your pregnancy, you'll probably just end up "regretting" that the most when the little kiddo finally arrives
I agree. They'll come around, but it might not be until after they see that precious little baby of yours. You're already pregnant and no matter what they say its not going to change anytime soon.
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  #6  
September 20th, 2011, 09:53 AM
Kitusne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry you're going through that. I certainly know how you feel. Nobody wants or loves this baby but me.

They probably will come around over time. People tend to change their attitude once the baby has arrived. Perhaps try to explain to them in the kindest way possible that their comments are only causing you stress, which is not healthy for you or the baby, and perhaps they should look for the good in the situation.

What got me past everyone's negativity was one day I finally realized that in the end I'm so happy to be pregnant, and there is a beautiful little baby to look forward to. It's everyone else's loss if they can't share in that joy.
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  #7  
September 20th, 2011, 10:07 AM
MuffinMama's Avatar First Time Mama :)
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I agree with the posts above--soon as you have that baby (hopefully before), they will come around. I definitely know how you're feeling right now, at least to an extent. My SO and I are quite young, not financially stable, and I'm working two jobs and in school full-time. A lot of friends and family members are doubting our decisions and seem flat out unhappy with and disinterested in us having our baby.

Try and keep your chin up, hon. If talking to them doesn't work, and they still feel the way they do, it's going to be their loss. You clearly already have so much love for this little one. Not only is your baby a gift to you, but you're definitely a gift to your baby. Hang in there, it will all work out in the end!
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  #8  
September 20th, 2011, 07:01 PM
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Thanks for all the words of encouragement ladies. Today has definitely been a hard day. I'm sure they will get better and I'm sure I will still have bad days. I know that once this baby comes everyone will be thrilled with it. It just crushes me that no one seems to be happy about it now. Here's to a better outlook tomorrow.
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  #9  
September 20th, 2011, 08:41 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
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Hugs
5 years is along time to keep baby stuff even if you were planning on having more ugh some people can be so rude.
This baby wasnt planned I was on the iud & was set on not having anymore kids but the moment I told someone I was pg they were so happy even tho I wasnt at the time.
So sorry you are dealing with so much stress
But none of it will matter once ur holding baby in your arms.
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  #10  
September 21st, 2011, 09:00 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
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I'm so sorry people are being so rude. I don't know what it is about a pregnant woman that makes people think they can say whatever they are thinking, but I want to punch people sometimes for their insensitivity.

I hope you are able to get some relief from them. If it's your DH's family, see if he can talk to them. He could just casually mention how much negativity you've been receiving and how bad all that stress is for the baby. As for your family and co-workers, if you don't want to say anything to them you could try to counter their doubt and negativity with some positive thoughts and ideas. They might have a hard time continuing the negativity if they know it's not working
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  #11  
September 21st, 2011, 09:35 AM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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Location: Sterling Heights, MI
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ohhh, i'm so sorry... and i totally feel your pain. i get negative comments constantly, and it really hurts. it's a surprise pregnancy for me too. i know i can't afford it but this is a person that's coming, and it really sucks that people feel it's okay to talk about an unborn child in such ways... just because they aren't "here" yet, doesn't make it hurt less, or make it any less awful for them to say.
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