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Support people during birth, other than DH or SO


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  #1  
September 22nd, 2011, 02:34 PM
.ingrid.'s Avatar TTC #2 on clomid
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 917
Is any one planning on having their sister, mother, SIL, best friend ect... With you and your partner when you're giving birth???

Is there any one who thinks strrongly against having extra's??

I personally think I will really benefit from having my sister or best friend there with me the whole way as well, because there is things they know and can say that Chris can't, because they've had children before and they also know me very well! There is also just the fact that I want to be able to share it with them!

But I guess Chris needs to want them there as well...
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  #2  
September 22nd, 2011, 02:35 PM
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Location: Kentucky
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I am planning on hiring a doula, I don't think DH is capable of the support I want
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  #3  
September 22nd, 2011, 02:36 PM
.ingrid.'s Avatar TTC #2 on clomid
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 917
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandycane View Post
I am planning on hiring a doula, I don't think DH is capable of the support I want
What is a doula??
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  #4  
September 22nd, 2011, 02:59 PM
sarah_19_nz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,473
I personally would HATE anyone but myself and hubby there. Even close friends and family wouldn't be allowed. I just feel like my Hubby is the ONLY one in this world who I can say/ do/act whatever I please around and not feel one bit uncomfortable. I just wouldn't relax as much if others were in the room, or even in the same hospital! haha
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  #5  
September 22nd, 2011, 03:04 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 816
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah_19_nz View Post
I personally would HATE anyone but myself and hubby there. Even close friends and family wouldn't be allowed. I just feel like my Hubby is the ONLY one in this world who I can say/ do/act whatever I please around and not feel one bit uncomfortable. I just wouldn't relax as much if others were in the room, or even in the same hospital! haha
I agree 100%! I don't need a fan club cheering me on, or pissing me off. With my daughter, my husband was the only one there. We didn't even call anyone to tell them we were having the baby til after she was born. This one will be the same, except that since we live in a different state than all of our family now I think some family might come visit around the time she is due so someone may be at the hospital, but not in the room. He was great with support and masasge and stuff with our 1st daughter, I know he will be the same with this one too.
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  #6  
September 22nd, 2011, 04:04 PM
Mama2Nico's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Scottsdale, AZ (originally from NJ)
Posts: 1,543
DH will be the only one there. Even though he is one of the least sensitive people I know (no filter and totally unemotional, he can't help it), I tend to withdraw within myself and prefer not having anyone other than him in the room. Not that we have a choice, since it will be another c-section. Last time I could not wait for everyone else to leave the room while they prepped me for the surgery. This sounds awful, I know...and I'm usually really emotional/people oriented...but for this I like to not have a bunch of people talk to me and just wanted quiet time to think and process what was happening. It was funny because the Dr. commented on how calm I was last time - that is only because she couldn't see inside my head
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  #7  
September 22nd, 2011, 04:15 PM
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with both my other 2 kids I had Kevin ( DH ), My mom, my twin sister Denise and my mother in law and i will have it that way with this one also!
I have really quick/fast labors and stay pretty calm so i dont mind having alot of people around
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  #8  
September 22nd, 2011, 04:22 PM
BSandDsMommy's Avatar Mommy to three boys
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 2,283
Just me and hubby, I would end up saying something to anyone else and cause drama lol I'm mean when I'm in pain and dh knows it and knows that he is to sit there and not say a single word to me or he's getting an earful lol I'm fine and don't say anything when I'm left alone but the second someone starts asking if I need this or that I start going off
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Last edited by BSandDsMommy; September 22nd, 2011 at 04:24 PM.
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  #9  
September 22nd, 2011, 06:19 PM
Alison79's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 10,232
My Mom will be with us and she will actually catch the baby (with my midwife's assistance). We will also have a Doula present. DH is an awesome support person and will be in the birth tub with me so we wanted someone to help with the kids during the labor and/or give DH a break if he needs to rest, eat, etc. We are having a home birth and I love having lots of people around.
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  #10  
September 22nd, 2011, 06:42 PM
momtomonkeys's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Memphis, Tennessee
Posts: 658
No one but DH and I this time. With my first 2 it was DH, my mom and sister. Last time it was DH and a doula. This time I don't want anyone but DH. I tend to get really quiet when i'm in pain and I will completely go off on someone for talking to me. LOL
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  #11  
September 22nd, 2011, 07:48 PM
MReel11008's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,664
Depending on the time of day that this little one decides to arrive there may be a few people in and out of my labor room. For my first son I had my mom, best friend, and my now ex sister-in-law. I was single and alone so having them helped a ton. My dad and brother were also there but weren't in the room much at all. My second it was just dh, my mom and I for the birth along with my dad and sister waiting. Alex was just me and dh which was fine but dh tends to be annoying to me when I'm in labor. I would have loved for my mom to be there but it wasn't possible at the time.
This time around I'm not sure. Obviously dh and I will be there. LOL My best friend might be but since we are due within a week of each other we may have both families running like crazy between the two of us! I'm hoping my mom can make it this time as well.
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  #12  
September 22nd, 2011, 08:22 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inemlogi View Post
What is a doula??
A woman there to help you through labor and childbirth. She might give massages or help with coaching. She could help talk to nurses when you're concentrating on a contraction, stuff like that. =)

I had people there last time, and it's a mistake I won't make again. I think I got really ticked off with my FIL being there. I personally don't think he had any business coming while I was in labor. I was up every 10 minutes to potty, and it was so hard to maneuver my big pregnant self, the IV, and my open robe to not flash anyone. My MIL wasn't so bad except when I asked people to stay out. She came in a couple times when I asked them not to. So did my mom. Honestly, why did they think it was a good idea to come hang out with a woman on pitocin? It was started at 1 AM, and all I wanted to do was rest, not entertain.

This time my mom will know when I'm going because she's taking care of DD. My in-laws will be told I'm in the hospital after I pop the baby out. It will be so nice with just DH there.
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  #13  
September 23rd, 2011, 07:18 AM
aogilvie's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 601
This is my first one, so I don't have any previous experience to draw on. However, I am really really looking forward to just having my husband with me. We definitely would not want any other family there and we thought about a doula, but even decided against that. David and I have been through so much together to get here that I just want it to be him and I when the TTC chapter finally officially closes for us. He's all I want.

That being said though, we plan on being very open with family after we get our baby home. We live across country from everybody, so both are families are going to want to visit pretty quickly - parents at least. This baby has been so hoped and waited for for so long that I really want to open the door to let everyone celebrate him/her from the get-go (it helps though that both sets of parents are very respectful and I agree with their parenting strategies 100% - I will be very appreciative of their advice, I think).
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  #14  
September 23rd, 2011, 07:29 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,648
I had my mom, sister, meme, and SO, my sister and SO were very helpful, my mom took pictures (she asked me first ) and meme was a little annoying, she gets bored. This time, DH and maybe MIL. I think I want my sister again too. But mom is taking DS. Im not sure on MIL I dont know how comfortable I can be with her there. I love her a ton and she is a nurse but it is a little uncomfortable.
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  #15  
September 23rd, 2011, 08:44 AM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
I asked my cousin to be in with me and DH. I guess I reserve the right to change my mind?? I want two people so I still have someone if DH has to step out for anything, or if the labor is long and he takes a nap, etc. Idk. I just want that extra person there. I can totally be myself around her. I can't think of anyone else I'd want besides her, though. So, if she can't make it DH and I will be all alone. =]
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  #16  
September 23rd, 2011, 09:06 AM
Girl IS my name's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Lubbock, TX
Posts: 3,503
I want DH and my mom and the doula. DH and my mom calm me down when I'm scared. And they both listen to me, so I think it'll all be ok.
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  #17  
September 23rd, 2011, 11:25 AM
akicequeen02's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Alaska
Posts: 973
It will just be me and DH. My sister might be there strictly for birth photography (she is a professional photographer) but that is it. There will be 2 midwifes and also a student assisting and that is plenty of people. For some reason my mom was ok with not being in the room but cant seem to be ok with not coming over and staying (post from last night).

I think as far as your situation goes if you want someone extra it really is up to you. Your SO should be aware and hopefully support you on that but you are the one in labor! Have you asked him yet about having that person?
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  #18  
September 23rd, 2011, 11:54 AM
Kitusne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 1,205
SO wont be able to be there, and I don't want other family members there. I'll most likely have a doula.
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  #19  
September 23rd, 2011, 12:04 PM
mommy2kenzie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Saint Louis, Missouri
Posts: 2,580
It'll be me, DH and possibly my Mom depending on what time of the day it is.
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  #20  
September 23rd, 2011, 01:00 PM
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The only person other than dh I would ever dream of having in there is a doula. That is just way too private/vulnerable of a moment for me to have anyone else. I would be mortified! But that is just me. To each her own! I didn't even want to breastfeed in front of my mom when I had Charlotte. Luckily she knows and understands and respected my privacy, unlike a lot of other people.
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