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Help! Gender reveal party and my personal emotions. What to do?


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  #1  
September 29th, 2011, 08:15 AM
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So we are planning a gender reveal party of some sort on Sat. My ultrasound is Friday. At first I thought it would be fun to learn with the rest of my family, but the more I think about it the more I don't know if I can find out the gender during a party. I'm sure I'll get emotional and I just don't feel like crying in front of my in-laws. I'm ok with crying in front of my family. Anyways, I was thinking that maybe I would find out at the ultrasound to give me some time to process the news. My DH doesn't want to find out until the party.

So what do you all think about me finding out first, but letting it be a surprise for everyone else?

I guess even at birth if we didn't know, at least it would just be my DH and I knowing before everyone else. I think I will need some time to process. I have no idea what we are having, and I only slightly hope for a girl, but I think I would need time if I did find out it was another boy.
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  #2  
September 29th, 2011, 08:31 AM
~Mindy~'s Avatar Full hands...Full ❤
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Hmm, that's a tough situation. If you think you might need some time to process it before the party then it may be better to find out at the ultrasound.

I knew I would be a little disappointed if we found out we were having a girl, I really wanted another boy. But during the gender reveal there was so much going on that the disappointment didn't hit me until everyone left. And I think that finding out in such a fun way actually made dealing with the disappointment a little easier.
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  #4  
September 29th, 2011, 08:53 AM
RhiettaP's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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If you need time to process, I would find out before hand. We are planning a "reveal" party too (though DH really wants to wait until the birth), but I'm really hoping for a girl (as this is our last baby), and if it's another boy....I will need time to "get over it" so to speak. Nothing like someone taking a picture of you the exact moment you find out and the image show dissapointment on your face....

I cried when I found out #2 was a boy....my 20wk u/s picture of him is of his penis b/c I made my OB check again, and again to be sure.
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  #5  
September 29th, 2011, 09:24 AM
jensma's Avatar Katie: mommy to Ty & Em
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i would have found out first if we were doing it. I just had to know...
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  #6  
September 29th, 2011, 09:40 AM
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I have one of each already so i think i would have been fine either way

but it was amazing finding out with everyone else cutting the cake! it was a moment ill never forget!
my son was alittle upset and it shows in the video but i thnk that was just apart of the moment and now he is fine with it!
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  #7  
September 29th, 2011, 09:47 AM
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Thanks girls! I'm not for sure what I'm going to do. Maybe like Mindy said during the party I would be so caught up with the excitement, that I could deal with any disappointment later. Yikes I don't know what to do. Well I have until 1:30 central time tomorrow to decide, lol.
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  #8  
September 29th, 2011, 10:02 AM
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I think it is totally about what you are comfortable with, and it sounds like it would be better for you personally to find out in advance. And thats ok. Just do what feels right to you!
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  #9  
September 29th, 2011, 10:06 AM
JTsquared's Avatar Co-Host of Feb 2012 PR
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If you think you might be disappointed, I would find out first. I personally can't wait to cut the cake with our family around. I am happy with either sex though, so I'll be excited no matter what. I'm excited just thinking about it!!
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  #10  
September 29th, 2011, 10:21 AM
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I don't even want to find out till birth......but DH really wants to know, so I caved. Im terrible with surprises and always ruined them, so I wanted a surprise that I can't ruin. (I open gifts under the tree and rewrap them....I have since I was 5 im terrible) so I don't know how im going to let 1 person know and me not know, it might literally kill me!

I hope u figure out what u r most co/portable with!! Cant wait to find out!
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  #11  
September 29th, 2011, 11:12 AM
Kitusne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'd say find out first if it is emotionally easier for you.

It took me about two days to adjust to being told boy. I'm glad I found out alone, and was able to tell others when I was ready to do so.
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  #12  
September 29th, 2011, 11:34 AM
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I'm gonna find out first also nothing wrong with it I don't think I'll be disappointed either way, but I just feel I should know before anyone else and it can be my (and dh) secret for a whole day
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  #13  
September 29th, 2011, 03:03 PM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
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That was my intention all along!! DH and I are going to find out while looking at the screen, and we are just going to think up some cute ways to share it with everyone else. But we aren't going to share the moment of US finding out with them. I think it's cool for people who do, but I want that to be an intimate moment for the few of us in the room & just surprise everyone else in larger groups later.

Maybe it's just because that's exactly what I am going to do, lol, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all!! But then again, I can't be the only one who thinks so, because there are gender reveals where no one but the parents know on YouTube - like the one where mom and dad visit all their family with with the big foam letters of the baby's name to unscramble and that was their gender reveal - if they didn't know, they wouldn't know the right letters to give out. =]
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Last edited by BrittanyLBH; September 29th, 2011 at 03:08 PM.
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  #14  
September 29th, 2011, 03:23 PM
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Thanks for your encouraging words. I'm thinking if I do know then I can do some sort of teasing too for a day. I know our teenager will try his hardest to get the gender out of me before the party, lol.
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For the multiples forum: I have identical twin boys who are 3.
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  #15  
September 29th, 2011, 11:18 PM
isaroo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I ended up doing a gender reveal for my husband because he couldn't be at the u/s and I wasn't about to announce it to him through text message. He understood that if the tech was seeing it, I wanted to see it too, including the sex.

If you are going to get emotional, I'd do it where ever you feel comfortable to just let it go. Good luck, I'm excited to find out if it's a boy a girl
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  #16  
September 30th, 2011, 03:27 AM
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We decided not to have a gender reveal because I didn't want to plan it only to have the baby not cooperate (especially since my parents wanted to travel up for it). If we had done it, I was going to find out at the appointment and make the cupcakes myself. I'm glad we didn't end up doing it because it would have been that evening or the next day and up until last night I was feeling totally empty and disconnected. I'm not a good actress and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. DH has noticed, but is just convinced that I'm tired.

When I had Emily I never understood how anyone could be disappointed since we had tried for 4 years to get her, but I totally understand now. I did not expect to see 3 lines on Wednesday and I know my family heard the disappointment in my voice. I've gone the last 2 days alternating between feeling disappointed and sad and then guilty that I felt that way. I keep telling everyone that I'm so excited hoping that if I say it enough, I'll feel that way. I was so upset that I haven't even looked at names which is the thing I looked forward to. I love my girls and I'm excited that they'll both have a close sister which is something I always wanted, but it's hard to change your expectations after 20 weeks. So I need to work through it and move on to getting excited. I really hope you see what you want to see because I don't want you to feel this.
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  #17  
September 30th, 2011, 08:17 AM
RhiettaP's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When I found out #2 was a boy (I only wanted girls), I made myself where light blue everyday for about two weeks and I forced myself to buy baby boy things....after that I slowly became excited and when he was born...it was love at first sight!

I know how you feel though, because I desperatly want another girl....and if this baby is a boy...I know I will be dissapointed, but will get over it and love the baby none the less.
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