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Baby Girl Name... What to do?


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  #1  
October 1st, 2011, 04:45 PM
MuffinMama's Avatar First Time Mama :)
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After finding out we were team pink (and after my SO being convinced for five months that we were team blue) we finally sat down to seriously discuss girl names. I had made a list of both in the beginning with SO vetoing most of them. Said list was destroyed and instead of making a new one, I asked him what he liked. He chose the name that was actually one of my favorites, and I couldn't have been more elated. We even agreed on a middle name, something I thought would be hellacious because the first name is uncommon. I was feeling so happy and so excited, until...

I discovered that our families and friends either hate, and I'm talking despise, or just plain do not care for the name we chose. This sounds dramatic, but I was (and am) pretty heartbroken! I shouldn't let it bother me; she is our daughter and we have every right to name her what we like. I mean, not Megatron or Fido or anything (no offense to any of you who are debating those names ), but it hurts that everyone seems so against it.

Some of you might be like, okay just tell us what the dang name is! Honestly, I feel embarrassed/upset to even tell YOU ladies! Now when anyone asks me what her name will be, I just tell them we're still debating, even though it's not true. I'm sure our families and friends will warm up to it, but as of now they're refusing to even use her name. My own mother said she was going to call her something COMPLETELY unrelated to the name we chose, and then tried to guilt trip me because I won't name my daughter something SHE wants. *facepalm* Lady, you have your own daughter, you had your chance!

I don't know how to deal with this. Do I talk to SO and we try to find another name, even though we both love this one? Do I tell my family, in the kindest of words, to get over it? I feel like I shouldn't have to lie and say we don't have a name for her, especially since the baby shower is a little over a month away and we wanted to send the invites out with her name included.

Ideas?
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  #2  
October 1st, 2011, 04:54 PM
BSandDsMommy's Avatar Mommy to three boys
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Location: Arkansas
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I think if you love the name use it, they've all had kids and got their chance, and even if they don't like it now, once they see that sweet baby girl, they will love her and her name :O) I don't care what family, friends, or strangers think of our names, I chose them, they are all uncommon, and my babies... if someone doesn't like it get it's not their choice you are the parent and get to pick and if you and SO love it then that is all that matters :O) My inlaws I don't think cared for any of our names but I never changed it and now that they are here they never mention it just say we have cute unique names but growing up a Kisty I have found that I want all my kids to have uncommon names so when they are in school or out and someone says their name they are going to be the only ones that turn around...Just like today I was at the mall with my sister (Amber) and a friend from school hollered at me and when I turned she was like I was going to yell Amber, but figured the whole store would turn lol
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  #3  
October 1st, 2011, 04:56 PM
sarah_19_nz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ohhhh this SUX

This is why I NEVER tell family and friends what name we are thinking about using. There is ALWAYS someone who won't like it and make you feel like crap and/or question whether you should use it.

I HAVE mentioned my name choices to the girls on here because I know you are all open minded and respect peoples name choice (even if someone didn't like it they prob wouldn't type their opinion) so I feel safe in this forum.

If you still LOVE the name and so does your SO I would still be using it. I posted a story the other day about my MIL coming over and reading a picture book to my DD, at one point a characters name was read out and MIL muttered ("what stupid names!") Hubby and I looked at each other with eyes wide open, as the name she was referring to was our top Girls name pick. I said to Hubby later on, "OMG we CAN"T use that name now!" BUT I have mulled it over and over in my head and I actually think "no stuff that! we both like the name and it's not an outrageous or hideous name (well in our opinion! haha) so we are still going to use it! Once baby is born and you have announced the name they don't really have a choice but to accept it and either be a grown up and deal with it (learn to love it) or put up with it

I hope you still use it, if you guys love it
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  #4  
October 1st, 2011, 05:12 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
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First, that is really rude of people to shoot down your choice like that. The only thing that should be said about a pregnant woman's choice in names is, "Awww, cute/pretty/great name!" Even if you don't like it.

It's your baby, name her what you want to. I doubt you'd try to name a child Duke Nukem or something horrible like that. I didn't want Alice for DD, but let DH and other family talk me into it. I love my daughter more than anything, but I'm still not that crazy about the name, and I'm stuck calling her that now. =P I never liked Alice in Wonderland, the Resident Evil games or movies, or the color alice blue. I don't like all those stupid white rabbit stuffed animals that were constantly being given to her either because people "just couldn't resist!"

If both of you already love the name you chose, I would put it on the invites. If they mention anything about it, tell them they'll learn to love it!

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  #5  
October 1st, 2011, 05:23 PM
jensma's Avatar Katie: mommy to Ty & Em
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It's not their kid and not their place to pass judgement and i can't believe they'd be so RUDE to tell you they don't like the name you've picked for your daughter. Even if they don't like it they should just stay quiet about it. It's not about her name, they're going to LOVE her and that's what matters!! we don't give people the opportunity to weigh in on our names. we like them and thats what matters and you shouldn't be embarrassed to call her by her name or tell people her name! I am DYING to know what it is though!
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  #6  
October 1st, 2011, 05:32 PM
isaroo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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How rude! This is exactly why we are not telling our family and friends our list either. We decided we won't be naming the baby until he is born just so we are sure the name fits. I told you ladies our list, awhile back, mainly because you'll read it and I won't see you're reaction lol If you don't want to tell us and get our opinions, you could just sign into the message boards on any of the baby names sites and see if you can get some opinions there.
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Last edited by isaroo; October 1st, 2011 at 05:34 PM.
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  #7  
October 1st, 2011, 05:40 PM
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My mom hated the name we picked for our youngest and wasn't afraid to say something and try to get us to change it, I told her to get over it because that's the name we chose. Our youngest is Julie Marie. Now if only we could decide on a name for this one.
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  #8  
October 1st, 2011, 05:44 PM
MuffinMama's Avatar First Time Mama :)
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I hope none of you ladies took me not wanting to say the name the wrong way! I KNOW you're all so kind and non-judgmental, I'm just feeling a little butthurt right now, lol. I wasn't expecting such negative reactions from the ones I care about and now I feel really shy/embarrassed saying anything.

But I promise, it wasn't meant to be in any way, shape, or form offensive or hurtful to you all!
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  #9  
October 1st, 2011, 05:48 PM
kellysensei's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This is why DH and I didn't/won't reveal our chosen name until the birth, even though we've chosen "normal" or "common" names. My parents always seem to know someone from childhood with every name we say who they hated.

Unless your chosen name is Adolf Hitler or something, go with what you want, especially if your DH agrees!
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  #10  
October 1st, 2011, 05:50 PM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
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This makes me SO mad that even ONE person could be so rude, but that you feel like you are getting it from EVERYONE IRL... it really boils my blood. It's wrong on so many levels to threaten to call your child something completely different from the name you want to give her. I'd be biting heads off left and right if anyone IRL tried to treat us that way. Some people need to learn how to nod & smile, I swear! I'm really upset for you!

I truly hope you can overcome this bullying and hold your head up high with the name you and DH love and find some way to get the respect form your families that you both deserve. I'm just so, so sorry that the people around you have made you feel this way - there is no excuse.

I don't think any of us here would ever treat you that way, but I don't blame you for being nervous after the dreadful way you were treated. I'm so annoyed for you.
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  #11  
October 1st, 2011, 05:52 PM
isaroo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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And I hope you know I wasn't calling you rude, I was calling your families reaction rude lol I am curious about the name, but I understand if you want to keep it to yourself
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  #12  
October 1st, 2011, 05:53 PM
MuffinMama's Avatar First Time Mama :)
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Oh I know, isaroo. I just started doubting myself like, oh no, did I sound like I was being mean or implying something in my post?!

No worries!
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  #13  
October 1st, 2011, 06:47 PM
Lovemykiddos!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sounds to me like ur family and in laws are lucky.....I would have told mine all to shove it and wouldn't have been nice about it either. But then, that's why Dhs family hates me lol, I have issues keeping my mouth shut when something is on my mind. (Especially when I'm angry or hurt)

I hope you decide to keep the name u and ur Dh love so much. And I also hope at somepoint you will share it with us
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  #14  
October 1st, 2011, 06:52 PM
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the only reason why i would change the name is if me or DH/SO really started to hate it
ugh i wouldnt change it for anyone else and really dont care what other people think!
like you said she/they had their own kids they were able to name and you have whatever choice you want for your baby girl!
cant wait to find out the name of your beautiful baby girl!
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  #15  
October 1st, 2011, 06:57 PM
Bella11356's Avatar Super Mommy
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Ok....I went through this. My mom and sister nixed the name both SO and I had decided on. The name was Cara DanaŽ. Cara they HATED, DanaŽ they loved though...but my mom gave my sister that middle name so of course they loved it. We did change the name.

We changed it to Holland DanaŽ. Which now that we did, we love it even more than Cara. But Holland was always way high up on our list anyways...

So I don't have the best advice to give because I caved...I'm sorry!! But in the end whatever you choose will be the right choice for you, your family, and the baby!
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  #16  
October 1st, 2011, 08:26 PM
MuffinMama's Avatar First Time Mama :)
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Thank you, ladies! <3

I'm going to stay firm on this. SO and I both love the name and want to keep it, so keep it we shall. Normally, I'm the one who could give two cahoots about what people think, but I guess I'm just more hormonal (obviously!) and the fact that it was my family as well made it so much worse.

I appreciate all of your thoughts and inputs! It really helps.
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  #17  
October 1st, 2011, 08:36 PM
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After 7 babies, I've learned who I can tell my possible name choices to and who I can't. However no one has ever swayed us not to name our kids what we did. I'm glad you are keeping this "mystery" name, lol. I can't wait to hear it when you finally share it.
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  #18  
October 1st, 2011, 09:06 PM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
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I'm glad, too. I was a little worried it would get to you, and I'm glad that your SO is on your side. That's all that matters!! Good for you for standing your ground!!!!!
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  #19  
October 1st, 2011, 10:18 PM
RandE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would love to know what the name is I love different names myself and since our top pick for a girl was Illyriah- I'm interested.

I'm not telling anyone what we're choosing. No one likes the 'different' names in our family so I'm making them wait until our little guy is born. They'll see him and not care what his name is. Or so I hope.

This is something I've chosen to do after getting a two hour lecture from my mother about how "a child is stuck with it for life, they'll never have a pencil with their name on it, no one will be able to pronounce it, it sounds like something that will be picked on...yadda yadda." I also had my close friend laugh in my face when I told her a name we were considering. Yeah excuse my french but F you. lol

So when my mother starts hounding me about names we like I throw a couple easy ones out that we like but aren't considering so she'll shut up. lol

I personally think if you like the name you should go with it. No one will care what her name is after they see how wonderful and precious she is when she's born! Good for your for standing your ground on it. It's your child, you can name her what you want. GL!
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  #20  
October 2nd, 2011, 06:22 AM
Capns Girl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I've been on the other end of this.....in my defence I was 15 and clueless about how rude it is to bad mouth someone else's name choice. But this story has a good ending! My brother and his x-wife chose to name their daughter something somewhat unusual. And EVERYONE in my family was like, you're naming her WHAT?!? They stuck to thier guns and it took about 2 minutes after meeting her for the first time to realize how stinkin' cute she and her name was! (BTW they named her Chaitali Aleah) I love her name now, it would make it my list if it weren't already my niece's name!

So what I'm getting to is what everyone else has already said. Use the name you and your SO picked out and once they meet your sweet little baby they'll change their minds!
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