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So I'd like an opinion on this. I talked with my aunt about the possibility of her planning a baby shower for me in Wisconsin because she lives there and so does a lot of my extended family. She's excited about planning it and she's great at that type of thing. I mentioned to her about trying to involve my mom with the planning process so she doesn't feel left out. I didn't talk to my mom about planning the shower by herself because a)she lives in Missouri with me and she would have to find a location in Wisconsin and b)she's absolutely awful at event planning...she never even sent my graduation invites out. Now my mom is offended that I didn't ask her to lead the baby shower...she keeps on saying "that should be the mom's job". My response is always that I know that she has a lot on her plate (she has 4 kids under the age of 10) and i didn't want to burden her with the responsibility of planning a party in a different state. Now every time she mentions the baby shower, she puts on a whole "woe is me" act and I'm very fed up with it...it's like the whole thing is about her and not about the baby. I don't feel like I overstepped any concrete boundaries as far as baby shower etiquette goes but she disagrees. What do you guys think?
Your mom sounds like she is just wanting to hold on to this hurt, as if some part of being "grandma" was taken from her. I honestly wouldn't put up with that from my mother, but I also have a totally different relationship with my mom that most people do and I'm to the point where I've discussed dropping her from my life for awhile (not that I ever would, but it's not good). I do have a friend whom I think is planning a surprise one for me and I'm not sure how to approach her on it cause it's all just hearsay, but I don't want her to do that. And the only reason she isn't invited to my big one in March is because the girl who is throwing it and this friend actually had a falling out that included taking one another to court. UGH, not a situation I want to be a part of.
“First things first, but not necessarily in that order.” The Doctor
well really, if you want to go by shower "etiquette' rules...your family isn't supposed to throw you a shower. it's supposed to be a friend. idk if an aunt qualifies as the "family" or if they mean immediate family. but anyway...i would just tell your mom that she can call ur aunt and help her plan things, but that with her being so far away you didn't think she would want to handle finding a venue and planning the food. (which it sounds like you already told her all that stuff) if she keeps it up, just ask her what she thinks your supposed to do about it now or ignore her 'woe is me' attitude. it sounds like she is being imature about the whole thing.
btw, I live in WI, so if you need help with ideas for venues or anything like that PM me and i'll see what i can do!
reading these threads makes me realize how little I know about these types of things I NEVER knew that family isn't supposed to throw showers (does this go for other "showers" as well?) I am not having a shower and have never had one just curious