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I've written this to the people who will be caring for Addison while DH and I are at work (my mother-in-law and my step-grandmother). I don't want it to sound ugly but I want them to do it this way and not just how they feel like it. Does this sound okay or do you think I should re-word anything?
Addison needs to be fed every 3 to 4 hours. If she acts kind of hungry before 3 hours, try to hold her off by giving her a paci until 3 hours. If she isnít acting hungry, wait until she is showing signs of being hungry before feeding her. She needs to eat 3 to 4 ounces with each feeding. (I realize that sometimes she is not going to drink it all and thatís okay but try to encourage her to get at least 3 ounces down.) Give 0.3 mL of gas drops right before each bottle.
Please do not hold her all day. It makes her think she needs to be held all the time and I canít do that when I get home. I donít mind you holding her but just donít want her to expect it all the time.
Try to give her time on her tummy during the day. Try to wait a little after feeding her, though, because it sometimes makes her spit-up a little bit.
If she has a fever of 100.4į or more it is considered a medical emergency until she is 3 months old!!!
Contact Info (only call work numbers if it is an emergency)
Thank you for taking care of our sweet Addison. We REALLY appreciate it and are so glad she doesnít have to go to a day care while sheís so little. We feel very blessed and grateful to have her be with family that love her and want what is best for her.
Jordan and Chris
Babies go through growth spurts and require more food than "normal". In fact, all children do. Withholding food from an infant that is growing and needs more is going to make for a really grumpy baby and a really grumpy caregiver. You may want to provide some leeway for growth spurts.
That's just what her pediatrician told me to do so that's why I have that on there. I mainly said that because I'm afraid DH's mom is going to shove a bottle in her mouth every time she cries. I showed this to my mom and she said I didn't need to give them this at all, to shorten it to a small list and to not tell them not to hold her all day. She said that I should just tell them.
Thanks for the input though! I appreciate your opinions.
The thing that concerns me with your list is the not holding comment. Babies this age need physical contact. My DH just graduated in child development and psych and one of the things he learned was how important it is for babies to be held. Maybe you could rephrase that to say, "Please do not hold her while she's sleeping, as that could develop unsafe sleep patterns. She needs to be put on her back in her bed."
Let me explain why. I didn't tell them not to hold her at all. I said "all the time" because my mom said when I was a baby, the babysitter held me all the time so when she got home she couldn't even put me down to cook supper or anything because I cried because I wasn't being held. I definitely want her getting interaction and physical contact and stuff and she gets held often throughout the day. I just don't want her to become dependent on being held. But thanks for your concern.
As her parent you have every right to make the decisions for your child and I respect that. I just want to point out that I have noticed a lot from our families that the old school of thought was that holding a baby spoils him/her and that is not really the case. Our grandparents say the same thing lol. I dont think this really has any factual basis though. So much has changed with everything in parenting... back to sleep, no cereal, delaying solids, carseat recommendations...
Hmm, it sounds like your mom is of the old school of thought about holding a baby spoils them. This is a decent article that talks about time frames of when babies start to social reference. You might want to take a look at it. It may help.
I think the "not having the note" and just voicing this to the caregivers is a good idea. A lot less offensive, imo.
Also, ditto the other ladies on the holding and maybe just saying don't hold her while she sleeps. I know I didn't say that when I commented at the other place you posted this but it has been bugging me since.
***Don't expect me to lie to you just because you won't like the truth.***
I cant help it, Liam gets held most of the day. If not held I wear him. They are only this size once. Bet when he's 16 he won't be so keen on cuddles, lol . My ped was telling me studdies about how babies that aren held often in the early stages end up with weird dissociative issues in adulthood.
*note - this is not meant to offend or start an argument. Just stating information that has been given to me. Your child your rules is my opinion. The people watching your baby need to respect that.
Its good that you have a written plan to give them that says how you want your baby taken care of. I can also understand not wanting to hold a baby all day long (I got a house to clean and 2 other kids to take care of LOL!), but I don't believe the amount that they are being held will cause them to want to be held more at this age. Babies want to be held, it's just how they are. You can't spoil an infant this young lol. I would tell them to try to put her down if shes sleeping or if she's not fussing. If Matt is fine, I try to put him in the swing or something so I can get things done (like.....a shower for instance lol!). Sometimes I let him fuss a little, but if he's actually crying, I hold him. He's only going to be this little once and he's also going to be my last baby so I don't mind as much.
About the feeding thing, I wouldn't want someone shoving a bottle in my kids mouth everytime they fussed either. Maybe you could tell them how to look for actual hunger signs? I just feed mine whenever he's hungry, it could be every 3 hours, it could be every hour, just depends on what he needs at the time. Trying to put a baby this young on a feeding schedule can cause problems like failure to thrive (regardless of what any doctor says). I have a friend (who is very young, like 20 I think) and she let her idiot boyfriend (who is an idiot for many other reasons lol) talk her into putting there baby on a "schedule" at only 1 month. The baby wasn't gaining any weight, cried all the time, and had to be put on a vitamin supplement. She is a few months old now and is barely bigger than Matthew.
And Jordan I just wanted to say that being a first time mommy is tough! You have everyone giving you advice, telling you to do this or do that (kinda like us here huh LOL!!!), but if you ever doubt something, then don't do it the way someone tells you, even if it's a doctor. you're the mommy. you should go with what your heart says is right. let that motherly instinct be your guide
I have to say though... this is a darn good topic. My kids are not in daycare or whatever but we come up with birth plans... i should write out a "kid plan" I have honestly never really thought of this. I am a control freak (imagine that...) so I would be the one to write it out vs verbal LOL hmmm... I am going to put this on my to do list. It could be a good thing to have written down. Like in case of emergencies... here is my schedule and rules? Thank you for feeding into my OCD!
on a side note... my kid has some really awful gas guys
I think yall have misunderstood. I hold her! I put her down when she's sleeping and if she cries, I pick her up and love on her. If she's awake looking around, I pick her up and talk to her and we make faces and noises at each other. Sometimes I just feel like snuggling her so I'll hold her when she's sleeping. I don't just sit around not holding her because I'm worried about it.
I just know what I've experienced so far with her. We went somewhere overnight last week with family and she was never put down because there were aunts, cousins, grandmas holding her and the next 2 days she cried a LOT when she was put down. I couldn't get anything done because I was trying to deal with her and calm her down.
As far as feeding goes, she starts getting hungry right at 3 hours most of the time. Sometimes she waits almost 4 hours. So I'm not depriving her of food and she is gaining weight fine with no failure to thrive.
Sorry if anyone came off that way... I can only speak for myself... I did not mean that one bit. I know you take care of your baby.. we were rambling lol. This was just the starting point for a whole tangent of things. At the end of the day it is your child and you do what you want... that is why you are mom.