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Hospital visitors after birth?

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  • 1 Post By JennLynn_
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March 24th, 2012, 02:30 PM
Clutch's Avatar First Timer
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 933
After you give birth, what kinds of preferences do you have about visitors and privacy?

I'd really like to have at least an hour or two of privacy with DH and baby only for skin-to-skin contact, breastfeeding, and opportunity to bond as a family.

At the same time, I know that our parents will have been literally pacing in the waiting room FOR HOURS waiting to see their very first grandbaby. So I feel guilty wanting any privacy at all.

I just don't know how to feel about it now.

What kinds of preferences do you ladies have?
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March 24th, 2012, 02:36 PM
Jessido's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,210
I know how you feel. I want at least 3 hours family time but I worry by in laws will be clawing at the door. I told DH that the inlaws are welcome to stay at our home until I'm ready for them to visit. They live out of state so they can hang at our house until I'm ready that way I wont feel pressure to let them in as soon as I give birth. I know if theyre waiting at the hospital, im going to feel pressure to give up our family bonding time so I dont feel bad about making them wait. Having them at our house is perfect because they can be comfortable and not right outside my hospital room door.

Avery. 4/11
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March 24th, 2012, 03:20 PM
Josie+Shpala's Avatar Я русская)))))
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: St. Petersburg, Russia
Posts: 1,122
We're not having any visitors for the first week except DH's mom and his sister.
Mum of two girls & two boys
To my husband, Misha, we love and miss you
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March 24th, 2012, 03:37 PM
suzanneyea's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Outside Montreal
Posts: 594
NO one is allowed to visit me in the hospital aside from DH and sonm and our moms. Too many people came by after Andrew and I hated it.
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March 24th, 2012, 05:15 PM
akd616's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 823
Whoever wants to visit can come by when they feel like. That'll be my parents, grandparents, and siblings for sure. When Rora was born my entire family was out of state except my Mom and I missed them, especially my sisters and female relatives. I grew up in a big family though and am used to the ruckus. Between only my Mom being around and my MIL being the sulky Face of Doom for the brief time she was there it was a little lonely-ish. When we moved back to MI and my family was around 24/7 it was easier and I liked it better.
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March 24th, 2012, 05:26 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: S. Florida
Posts: 543
Hmmm, didn't really think of this. When I had Zachary it was midnight and I had been in the hospital since 6am so everyone left right after I held him for the first time. I would like it to be just the 4 of us at first but my mom will be there because she is taking care of Zachary and if I let my mom stay then I have to let my MIL stay too or she will throw an absolute fit! So I guess it's something I need to talk with my dh about. Thanks for bringing it up!

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March 24th, 2012, 05:46 PM
shanirah's Avatar Mommy Strawberry
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 3,505
If I last til April 19th and have my c-section, I'm gonna put it out there that I want no visitors until the 20th, except DS and his "Grandma Lenna" and DH of course. DD won't be able to handle it. After that, I don't mind, unless Amy needs more help of course.

“First things first, but not necessarily in that order.” The Doctor

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March 24th, 2012, 06:32 PM
queenofthecastle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana
Posts: 35,050
I'm glad that we won't be having the baby in the hospital because we won't have tons of visitors at home. My mom is only coming to watch the boys then she is leaving shortly after the baby is born. We won't have company until atleast a few days after the baby is born. If I was having a scheduled c/s, we would have a hospital full of people.

=May '05 and '11

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March 24th, 2012, 06:32 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 747
I always had my mom and dh in the delivery room. She would leave shortly after each was born, and give dh and I time with the babies. When we were ready, which was different with each delivery, depending on how quick the labor/pushing was, they would come in. Of course Matthew was whisked away, so my mom and dh went to the NICU with him, so it wasn't like one of my other deliveries.

When I got home, I never wanted too many extended family members right at first, I was too exhausted!!! My mom and sister were always welcome, at any time.
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Madison - 5/19/99
Meagan - 6/20/01

Joshua - 11/02/05
Matthew - 2/17/12 - Born at 33 weeks 5 days

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March 24th, 2012, 07:35 PM
Bekah's Avatar happy 2 be a girl mommy!
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,842
I hardly had ANY visitors when I had Eden and I HATED it.... except my crazy nana who I hope to keep at bay for as LONG as humanly possible (she would be there EVERYDAY for HOURS) I don't mind visitors as long as they don't just pop up out of nowhere and stay for too long. I am gunna need at least one person there though for the first day while I still have my catheter or they will take her and only bring her back to feed.

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March 24th, 2012, 08:14 PM
TnPhotoMama81's Avatar Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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Depends on when I give birth. If we have a vaginal delivery and its early enough in the day, I would like the chance to possibly shower and freshen up before we have any visitors. We may have people come later on that day.

If I have a scheduled c-section early in the day, we may have visitors that evening depending on how i feel. My last csection was after 26 hours or so of labor so I looked like I had been hit by a truck.

The only people we plan on having up there is my husbands grandparents and his mom. They will be keeping our son so of course he will come with them They live right down the street. Our family knows we don't want them at the hospital waiting. It is just silly when they live literally 5 mins from the hospital. We don't need the extra stress.

If they don't come until the next day I think they would be okay with that. That is what we did with our son...they came the second day.

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March 24th, 2012, 08:18 PM
mamabear4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,238
im hoping i go at night or early morning then no one will come. i hate for people to come and never leave like one of my sisters would do. then she would come home with us and try to stay the night or two or move in...she is really annoying. i dont have to worry about my oldest or youngest sister coming (they are too uppity to come see their niece) soooo... i am expecting my dad, my cousin, my closest sister, and i will invite my mom tho she is obnoxious to the point where during my 1st delivery my doc almost kicked her out. I will call her only after I have spent time with my baby and have gotten rest. dh's family will probably all come after i'm home because most live within .05-3 miles of us. my grandma may still be pissed at me...
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March 24th, 2012, 08:35 PM
JennLynn_'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pickering, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,208
My mom and my baby's father will be there at the birth. But I want my sister or step dad or whomever to bring my daughter in as earlly as possible to meet her little sister. Then I don't really want anyone else for a few hours after that. And for my first night with her... I really would like for it to be just her and I in the hospital
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March 24th, 2012, 08:43 PM
cavewoman's Avatar #2 due in June!
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 14,898
Considering we have like no friends here in Arizona and family is across the country I really doubt anyone will be here to even try to visit us in the hospital. My mom may be here for the birth if he comes after 9pm on the 27th (the day before my due date) or any later but otherwise we won't have any visitors I don't think.

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March 25th, 2012, 02:29 PM
WrightWife's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,493
DH and I have decided we are only calling our parents, siblings, and the baby's godparents immediately following the birth and they are all under strict orders to not say anything, or post anything of facebook until we do. We plan on waiting at least 4 or 5 hours to say anything to everyone else so that we have time to bond with our baby and spend time just the 3 of us without any calls/texts/emails/visitors to worry about. I don't expect a lot of visitors, although many of my employees have already said they want to come visit. I don't mind either way, as long as we have a few hours after the birth to bond and "freshen up".
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March 25th, 2012, 03:52 PM
*Crystal*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,458
We have asked people to not visit around dinner time or any other time DS will be at the hospital. We would like to have "family dinner" each night and give DS a chance to be with his sister alone. My mom always takes over DS when she is around. She pulls him away from me and everyone else. It drives me crazy. It's all about her. EK! So we aren't letting her or anyone else be around when DS is meeting his sister or spending time with her in the hospital. We want it to be about the two of them... no one else.
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March 25th, 2012, 05:54 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: VA
Posts: 504
My mom and my DH are going to be in the delivery room when the baby's born. It's a tradition that my DH help coach me and my mom does the video recording of the birth. I have already discussed with them both that after the baby is born, I would like for my husband to go get our sons and bring them in to be the "first" to meet their baby brother. I want a bit of bonding time with just the 5 of us first. After that, I don't mind visitors as long as they don't stay too long at a time.

We had a terrible experience after our firstborn in that my sister and a friend of hers came to the hospital and WOULD. NOT. LEAVE. I was absolutely miserable after the epidural and birth experience I had and they did not take the hint. We were young and stupid and didn't realize that all my husband had to do was go to the nurses station and ask that one of them come kick them out. Live and learn. I will soooo make the nurses be the "bad guys" this time.

Our 2nd son was born at almost 11 at night so the visitors were only close family and my best friend. Once they each came in and "met" him, they respectfully left because it was so late at night.

I don't mind visitors so much because I feel like this baby is quite a miracle after my oncologist AND my RE both told me I would not conceive again....that the chemo had "fried" my ovaries. I look at this as a celebratory time as long as we get the initial bonding time.
~Wife to Todd~
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March 25th, 2012, 06:28 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 460
We don't even plan on telling anyone when we go to the hospital. It will just be me, my hubby and my doula. I'll let people know we've had the baby afterwards.

Well, my neighbor will know because my son will be staying with her but that's about it. I just cannot deal with my dysfunctional family. Lol. I told my mother this and we ended up getting into a huge argument. But I decided I am done trying to please everyone else and not to worry about how I'm making them feel. This is about me and my immediate family.
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March 25th, 2012, 06:52 PM
squishyhomie's Avatar whee.
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 696
i don't know how to handle this either actually.

people are probably going to be there right after the baby's born because they were waiting for that in the first place.

they can come see him and stuff, but i know i'm not gonna want to be passing him around to people & all the ooo's and ahhh's are going to get on my only nerve.

would it be mean to tell them to just f*ck off? lol

Our First Baby
Nicholas Anthony Sanders

Last edited by squishyhomie; March 25th, 2012 at 06:55 PM.
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