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DH causing problems

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  • 1 Post By momma_d
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April 27th, 2012, 12:19 PM
morethanamom4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,292
I overheard him on the phone last night telling MIL that my mom is throwing us a baby shower. He said "Did you want to do one just for our family since her family is crazy?" Seriously!? I mean, I know they ARE crazy, but I'm sure they could all handle each other for a few hours.

So now MIL is throwing one, and my mom is throwing one. I don't even know how to explain that to my mom. (I will leave out the crazy part...). And who do we invite my friends to? Ugh. I was like "What was the point of that?"
Krissy, mom to three lovely little girls and one sweet little boy LOGAN THOMAS born 8/19/12

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April 27th, 2012, 12:47 PM
momma_d's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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lol, I'm sorry I had to giggle at this a little bit, but just at your DH!

It does sound like a total pain! Have you brought it up to him what a hassle it's going to be for you and that you would much rather just have one? I agree, I'm sure everyone can handle each other for a few hours! Or maybe try talking to his mom about it and just tell her that you are not really comfortable having two showers and that it is really inconvenient for you (which, it is!) It's not like you are going to have 2 birthday parties and 2 graduation parties for every child! Why all of a sudden make 2 baby showers?

edited to add: If his family insists on having a separate shower from your family, I would say have the shower on your families side your main shower, that you invite all of your friends, etc too. If his family isn't willing to come to the big one, they can host a small one with family only. That way, there is no reason to stress about who to invite to what one! And I would just very nicely make it clear to his family if that is their choice, that is how it will be.
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Last edited by momma_d; April 27th, 2012 at 12:51 PM.
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April 27th, 2012, 01:47 PM
Blessed Mommy Of 5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I 100% agree with Danielle! You all will be having many parties for the baby over time, so both sides of the family will have to get together and some point anyway!
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April 27th, 2012, 02:59 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think Danielle offered really awesome advice!
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April 27th, 2012, 05:01 PM
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I completely agree with Danielle... although my hormones are raging right now so I'd say if they weren't willing to be at peace for a couple hours for the sake of the baby, then I wouldn't attend their shower. I mean, showers are nice and all but they can also be stressful, time consuming and tiring. Playing the games more than once, etc isn't much fun. I had two different showers for DS#2 because of people in different areas and I was so showered out by the second one that I couldn't really enjoy it.
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Wife to Anthony since March 2004 and Mommy to 3 boys(Blake-6, Owen-4, & Vinny-2) and a little princess, Kara

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April 27th, 2012, 11:38 PM
Starstrydergrrl's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am with you on only one shower, it sounds better and everyone should get along for a while.

That said the most hurtful thing my mom ever did to me was miss my first kiddo's shower because as she painfully truthfully told me "I just cannot stand being around that woman, even for a couple of hours."

Broke my heart that my mom would rather have missed the shower of the only grandchild because of some pettiness. And unfortunately she died a few years ago so yeah...

Not saying your mom or mil would pull the same thing on you but maybe depending on their personalities towards each other two is better...

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April 28th, 2012, 04:50 AM
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Lyz Lyz is offline
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I had two showers like that but I figured it was because this was DH's side's first grandchild so I didn't mind. All my friends, co workers, etc came to my mom's shower and then DH's family came to his.

I actually preferred that as I got to mingle better without having a TON of people at one (like my bridal shower, holy knight there was 100 people there).

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April 28th, 2012, 06:48 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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If that happned to me..I'd just refuse to show up at the in-laws shower..if they werent considerate enough to show up at my party that would be their problem not mine..sorry..I have a raging hormone problem right now and IDK that just seems wrong to me...not to mention I'd flay my husband alive for even suggesting it..LOL

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April 28th, 2012, 08:10 AM
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In your mother-in-law's defense, it wasnt her idea, it was your husbands. I would be mad that he didnt ask me first. Maybe set up a registry so people wont give you double items. I would invite my friends to my main one though, and if they want to have their own little his-side family thing, then thats okay too. Maybe just have your main one first, so if there were things you really need and didnt get: like bottles or something, you can mention to his mom that you still really need bottles, and didnt get any at your other one.
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April 29th, 2012, 06:31 PM
morethanamom4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for the suggestions and input ladies My mom and MIL get along just fine, which is why I don't know what he was thinking. We just had DD3's birthday party at my moms house because it's bigger and MIL was there no issues, she was chatty.

I *think* it's because MIL/FIL and their families are a bit more reserved and my family is a bit more wild. His family sees each other for holidays and events like this whereas my family is ALWAYS together, very closeknit, kwim?

I told my mom and she was hurt that MIL even agreed to do her own. I told her I'd tell Dh we'd prefer to do just one. My mom was so excited about hosting the shower, she has all these "big plans" and was going to make it into a big barbecue/pool party at the end of June.

DH said he'll tell MIL he thinks it'll be easier on me if we just stick to one since I'm already dealing with lots of pregnancy stuff. I think she willingly agreed in the first place because our families are so different, she probably also thought DH wanted a separate one. *shrug* Men geesh.
Krissy, mom to three lovely little girls and one sweet little boy LOGAN THOMAS born 8/19/12

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