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Brittany, you reminded me of something my sister told me last week. We had invited a couple people over to see her since she's been out of state for 16+ years. One of the people we invited had 16 people or so from her family to tag along. I was so happy they were coming to see my sister and giver her some love. Then they arrived, didn't say one word to her, made a mess, ate a bunch of food, left the doors open so my autistic child could try to drown herself in the lake, and went swimming. some of the kids were eating up my dad's candy, they were making a ruckus, and generally being rude hicks.
My sister told me, "Arwen, you expect too much out of people. When I heard our cousins were coming, I expected them to act like rednecks, and they fulfilled my expectations. So I'm still happy. I expect Dad to act like something's wrong with him, and I expect our brother to be crazy because he's not sober. Expect the worst, and be pleasantly surprised when they are polite, do something nice, or don't act like they have autism."
So anyway, we've all by now have dealt with people that act like they know how to raise our kids better than we do. Especially people without kids. They know better than ANYONE! So we should expect people to be little sh*ts and try to school us. Then when they are polite and mind their business, we can be pleasantly surprised.
Such a sad way to look at people IMO, but it's true. I have been much happier in the past week with this new outlook. I no longer get mad at my mom for the way she is with Alice. I expect her to not know what the heck she's doing even though she's been around my child for 4.5 years now. She now fulfills my expectations, and I just make sure Alice isn't left alone with her grandmother.
I was always getting disappointed by people. I adopted this outlook and have been happier also. People suck. Lol I am very introverted though so living life expecting the worst in people isn't a big deal for me.
My husband is such a happy person all the time, and it's because he doesn't have any expectations of people at all. He just pays attention, accepts them for who they are (even if they're crooks or meanies), and keeps on going with his life. I wish, I wish, I wish I could be like this! But I always expect things from people and I'm always either disappointed or enraged.