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So Robby just turned 4 mos last weekend. He is a lovable, wonderful boy. He also has a long memory and a short temper. Tonight I am by myself, so he can't be held and entertained at all moments; I still gotta cook for when DH gets home at 11 pm, and I gotta get us ready for tomorrow. He was standing with me supporting him, and then he kind of sat and I was holding him up and he was happily chewing on my hand. When the timer went off, I had to go to the kitchen, and I brought him with me, but he started crying as soon as I stood up, and he cried for 10 straight minutes before I could distract him. He continued to fuss until I went back and sat him as he had been before, at which point he quit crying and started talking happily and smiling. Between the initial sitting and the second time I sat with him, 40 minutes had elapsed, and he was screaming for 10 and fussing for 30 of those minutes.
My question is, is this a real tantrum? I know he's too little to be disciplined (even by ignoring), but I fear for his future if this is his sweet baby time! Has anybody else dealt with this? DH swears I am spoiling him by trying to alleviate the crying all the time, but I just feel like he's too little to understand consequences/cause and effect, and there's no point trying to deny him so that he won't be so demanding. I think it's more in his nature than in my nurture.
Any pointers you can offer will be greatly appreciated!
Katara has been throwing tantrums for a couple months now, there is not much you can do at this age I just talk to her and explain why mama has to do what I have to do I am sure she gets some of what I'm saying
DD does this sometimes too. She's very inquisitive and wants to be apart of everything. I hate letting her fuss, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and you can't wear baby or bring him/her with...like when you have to go to the bathroom or take something out of the oven. I sincerely hope this doesn't mean we're in for a handful once they reach toddlerhood! I don't have any pointers unless you can try baby wearing, but I know that is difficult to do while you're cooking.
I'd say keep practicing. Give him lots of opportunities to learn independence and acceptance of alone time. For starters, leave him places he's comfortable with items he enjoys. Leave him for short periods with lots of praise on your return. Once he gets the hang of it you can try him for longer amounts of time. You're right, there's no way to discipline at this age, nor is there any reason to. However, exposure to and experience exhibiting the behavior you're looking for is totally doable. Good luck!
TTC #1 with Endometriosis & Antiphospholipid Syndrome since December 2008
Dec 2008 - April 2010 #17 Natural cycles
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Nov 30 2010 - Ultrasound at 11 weeks; no heartbeats & no growth past 9 weeks
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Thank you so much! He actually loves his down time, and he can spend 30-45 minutes on the floor playing by himself while I get stuff done around the house. It was just a huge tantrum because he couldn't do what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it! That night, he actually slept 9 straight hours and would've kept going if I hadn't woken him up (and he had eaten 1.5 hours before going to bed), so I think exhaustion may have played a large part of the problem. He's slept through before, but not more than 8 hours, and definitely has not gone 11 hours between feedings!!
Rose will throw little tantrums. If I can't get to her in time, she'll straiten and lock her limbs, turn beet red, and let out a really loud, shrill shriek. Alice never did that so I thought she was choking the first time it happened. lol
I'd say that is pretty normal behavior for this age and is no indication that your child will throw any more tantrums in a year or two than an average toddler. In most cases, once toddlers learn the relationship between cause and effect, the biggest factor in determining how often a child will throw a tantrum and how severe they will be is the parental reaction to them, in my opinion.
Kyler has been throwing tantrums lately,idk if it's the teething getting to him or what. He is the master of a fake cry already as well,he only pulls the fake crying with me i guess because i'm a push over already. lol
I read on babycenter that 4 months is when they start to learn cause and effect. I don't discipline at this point but I calmly tell her that screaming wont get her what she wants.... I will distract her long enough for a pause in crying to pick her up if she doesn't 'take a break' on her own from screaming.
I'm also teaching her simple signs for needs she has.... if she REALLY wants to be picked up she will sign for it so I know it's working. This way she has a way to communicate other than crying and is left for no excuses to throw fits..... doesn't stop her from trying every once in awhile though.