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Hey ladies! I know I don't post her super often but I need some advice for a problem I'm having.
Ok, so I have a friend whom I've known since high school. We've been good friends since then but lately something seems like it's off in our relationship. I've tried to contact her to get together at least three times and I either get no response or minimal response. I don't think there are any issues in her life that would keep her distanced.
So, should I ask her what's going on or sever the ties and get on with things?
Thank you so much for your advice! It will help me so much, as this has been bugging me for a long time now.
mommy to Isla (7 1/2), Roma (6), Ruby (3 1/2), Harper (2 1/2), and Liam (1)
Confront her first and then cut ties. Don't attack her and definitely tell her you're feeling a little sad that your relationship doesn't seem as strong as it once was and ask if there's something you can do to remedy it. Give it some time after that and then leave the ball in her court. If she doesn't put forth any extra effort just sever ties.
It really depends on your particular relationship. If she's a really good friend, I say broach the subject. I had to do this with a HS friend at one point too because I was feeling very hurt. So without anger, I emailed her and said that I wasn't sure if she had an issue with me, or if I had missed something, but that I felt like she was purposefully distancing herself and that I needed to know if I had somehow hurt her feelings. She was extremely apologetic and fell all over herself to make sure I knew it wasn't me. After that, her loner proclivities didn't affect me as much; I had made it known that I still wanted to be in contact with her, and that was all that I could do.
I have other friends that I have essentially written off as just not worth my time anymore. There are some people who NEED to stay in contact (like me, for instance) - and others who don't. Figuring out who belongs in which group goes a long way towards making your peace with those people who don't have the same sensitivities as yourself. When you are of the former group, at some point you make the realization that YOU have to be the one to maintain most contacts, otherwise it just won't happen. If you can live without the person - then you lose touch. If you really truly want them in your life, then you have to make peace with the fact that it will probably always be you that initiates contact.
Maggie - Mommy to Marlowe & Willamina
Last edited by MarlowesMum; July 17th, 2012 at 12:32 PM.
Agreed with all above...Give her a chance first and then the ball is in her court. Sometimes life gets tough and you get busy. I have a bad habit of not keeping constant contact and I think I hurt people by accident. Some people need more contact than others... I also get depressed and withdraw alot but it's not a reflection of anyone but me. I'd just ask and give her a shot.
Wife of 18 years to Anthony
Mommy to 4 daughters Elinore 05/27/95,
Phoenix 12/14/01, Pascale 06/03/05
& baby Wren on 12/10/12