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I know I haven't been posting much the last couple of weeks, I just havent been up to posting with everything thats been going on, I have been lurking though. This might be a lil long, I just need to get this all out before I freaking explode,
This is about my immature, straight up b*tch of a so-called mother.. she is honestly a piece of sh*t.
From the beginning(but trying to give a short version without leaving out the important parts):
Growing up, my mom, my brother Ricke(the one who just died) and I lived with my grandfather (Poppy). When I was about 10 or 11, she started dating this guy Rich. From DAY 1 he came into the picture acting like he owned the place and acting like my father.. but in a bad way, as in, punishing us for things we had always been able to do. My mother always went along with it.. so we weren't allowed to leave the house to play with our friends. He bought a house, a fixer-upper and it took about a year to fix. During the time between him buying the house & it being ready to move into, he mde sure my mom kept me and my brother grounded, nd it continued when we moved into his house.. but it got way worse. Sometimes, for months at a time, we would be grounded to a corner of the house, notbeing able to leave it except to eat or shower and to sleep. Same type of punishment but instead of a corner, it was the kitchen table. I was never able to do normal teenage things. Me and my brother werent even allowed to tlk to each other because we argued, which is normal for siblings, right? we couldnt make a peep while he was asleep or all hell would break loose! When Ricke was 8. she sent him to live with his grandparents (we have different fathers) nd when I was 13 shekicked me out. Unlike my brother, my living arrangement didnt work out so I went back several times throughout my teenage years, and it always ended with me being kicked out again. That ended when she kicked me out when I ws 16 and I came to live with Mike, nd Ive been here since. Since Rich came along my relationship with my mom has always been rocky (but once i got preggo she wants to be my best friend), because me nd Ricke always felt like she chose him over us. She now has a kid with him, and he is 8, and cn get away with whtever it was me and Ricke did, and some, without getting into trouble. Mind you, me nd Ricke werent bad kids. She keeps telling me we were "disrespectful"
Ok, so fast forward to Ricke dying 2 weeks ago. Her and Rich and my youngest brother drove to florida for the service. I got a phone call from Ricke's boyfriend Kyle the day after the funeral. He told me my mom had mde the whole thing about her from the second she got down there.. from thinking they were going to hitch my brothers camaro to their van and tow it back up to PA (which Kyle plans on restoring the way my brother was going to do had he not passed away) to going into their bedroom and just going thru my brothers things to pick out things she wanted. My step father was leaving the funderal home to go out to the van every 5 minutes and was seen by severaly people, including the funeral director, snorting cocaine in my moms van! (& my mom has been told several times that Rich has a cocaine addiction, she chooses not to believe it bc she is so blinded by her love for him.) They left the service early, saying that they needed to get on the road back up to PA. They were the only ones who left the service early and when Kyle got home, the license plate was missing off of my brothers car!!!! She refuses to admit it. She was confronted about it nd keeps trying to bring me into it, but I refuse to get in the middle of it bc i dont need the stress. & i know she is lying. I m the only one she is denying taking the plate to, Kyle said that she never denied it to him when he confronted her. I personlly know tht he wouldnt lie about this. She doesnt like that I will continue to have a relationship with Kyle, and my brothers grandprents cuz they were like grandparents to me while I was growing up, they always treated me as such. She doesnt like that I refuse to hate someone just cuz she hates them.
She has now canceled my baby shower. The invitations have already gone out, and it was supposed to be held at MY grandmothers house. I called my grandmother and asked her if i could still have my shower there & she sid NO! Because my mom was paying for everything. My deadbeat father still lives with her nd never ever paid a dime in child support and I feel the least he cn do is shell out the money to pay for the decorations and food so I dont look like an idiot telling everyone the shower is canceled. nd now I'm really stressing because I was supposed to get all of the big stuff for baby at this shower, since my family was getting all of it n now Im not having the shower. Mike's mom is throwing me one since his whole family hates my moms guts and she didnt want to go to the shower my mom was throwing. Since our families dont get along, none of my family will come to this shower. I am disabled (I was hit by a truck out front of my house 4 1/2 years ago) and on Social Security. I barely get by with less than $500 i get a month so I cnt afford any of the big stuff. This baby wasnt planned, but I want it. Mikes parents told me not to worry, tht they will make sure the baby has everything she needs, but I really didnt want to have to depend on them for help you know? Even my brothers grandparents heard about this whole situation cuz I told Kyle about it, and they also said to call if I ever need ANYTHING and they wont hesitate to help me, because I am their granddaughter and that really makes me happy I just keep thinking, IDK what I would do without Mikes family, they have been there for me since I was 16 years old, theyve always treated me like their daughter, and even his Aunts and Uncles treat me like family as well.
SO sorry about all of this, I just needed to get it all out. I feel better typing it all, I feel like I've already been stressing enough since my brother died. Even though Ive been trying my hardest not to. If you got thru all of this, sorry for all the typos, Mikes laptops "A" button is messed up, and Thank you for letting me vent.
First of all big to you! What a terrible situation and I can't believe your mom is acting so immature and childish. I am really sorry about your shower. I am glad that you have Mike's family to take care of you and it sounds like they treat you wonderfully!
Wendy SAHM to 5 Boys, 2 Girls & 1 Due On January 6th
Man. I am so sorry you are dealing with your mother on top of grieving your brother. She sounds like a real piece of work and I could say a lot worse. Like the kind of person you might not want involved in your life if I can be so bold to say that. Keep your chin up, you sound like a very strong person and you'll make it through this. Maybe you can call your family members on your side of the fam and tell them the situation and maybe you can do the shower at a park? Sending big hugs...
I'm sorry I totally get the mom thing, mine is also less than ideal. It's so hard to be going through what you are going through, need your mom and have her be this way. I don't have much to offer in the way of advice, except that you need to do whats best for you and the baby. I recently made the decision to cut my mother from my life. It's hard and sad and awful, but I couldn't do it anymore. And I feel like 100 pounds off my shoulder because of it.
Wow, just wow! I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of that! Some mothers don't seem to understand that what they do and say have a huge impact on their kids. Sometimes I feel blessed by how bad it was growing up...I know my kids will NEVER have to put up with any of it from their mom. I'm not perfect but I will do my best to protect my kids and teach them to love and support each other. I think you are likely to do the same as a result of your crumby family. I know it sucks to accept gifts/help from others but you should accept it in love and give back when/if you can. Your baby's well-being, safety, and security are what matters. And you matter. I hope things improve soon. :bighugs:
Wife of 18 years to Anthony
Mommy to 4 daughters Elinore 05/27/95,
Phoenix 12/14/01, Pascale 06/03/05
& baby Wren on 12/10/12
Part of her problem is she just doesnt like hearing the truth. She couldnt understand why Kyle & my grandparents were bashing her as a mother. So I told her, and I dont sugarcoat things, I tell it how it is. I told her it was because she chose her husband over us. & anyone who knows what she did to us, especially sending an 8 year old to live with someone else is just ridiculous, is going to say she is a bad mother. I told her that no child is perfect and she cant expect them to be, and that isnt a reason to send your children to live with other people, even if they are "disrespectful". You have kids, you deal with the good and the bad, not decide that you cant handle the bad things that kids do and decide "I cant deal with this, Im sending them to live with so and so". I also told her, I know my child is NOT going to be perrfect, and I am not going to be a perfect mom (is there a such thing?) but it doesnt matter WHAT my child does, she can come home at 13 and tell me she is pregnant. Does that mean I am going to send her to live with her boyfriend and his family? HELL to the NO, I would NEVER do that! My child will NEVER EVER live under ANYONE elses roof. Ok, we may live under someone elses roof, but, I am here too ya know? she will never be sent to live elsewhere without me, She will always be with me, until she is OLD ENOUGH to live on her own, and even then, I will never force her out. I look at this situation like this: SHe is feeling guilty for what she did to him. She is looking for justification of her actions so that she doesnt have to feel guilty. Shes feeling like if she hadnt sent Ricke to live with his grandparents, that he would have never moved to Florida with them and he would still be alive. But I feel like he most likely WOULD have gone to Florida to live with them at some point. And while what she did was most definitely WRONG, my brother had a much better life in the long run.
Rebecca- You are more than right, in saying that I wont make the mistakes that my mother did. I am not saying I will be the perfect mom, but I will NEVER EVER do to my children what my mom did to me, no matter what she does to piss me off. My kid will have a much better life than I did.
Thanks everyone for your support. I definitely feel a lot better about this situation now. I know I am much better off without her in my life, I just feel for my youngest brother because he just lost his older brother and I feel like he needs me in his life. And now he has lost me too because of my mom, he didnt do anything wrong he doesnt deserve that. In the end, I have my family, they may not be blood but they have been here for me and treated me better than my mom ever has, and I am thankful for everything they have done and will do for me in the future.