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Going from 1 to 2 - Help!!!


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  • 4 Post By 3kids3cats
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  #1  
July 20th, 2012, 01:25 PM
Leanne78's Avatar Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
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For you been there done that mom's. How did you help prepare your firstborn for the new addition? Was there anything special you did when you brought home your baby to help big brother/sister feel included?

Akadia is so young still, that I'm not really sure how to prepare her. She can't even say sister let alone grasp the concept. But I know she's going to be affected in a huge way since she is the Queen Bee around here, so I want to make sure to do my best to prepare her.
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  #2  
July 20th, 2012, 01:29 PM
KatherineD's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We didn't do anything. Mia was 20.5 months, but very verbal and understood a lot. She was in the room when E was born, so that was amazing, because Mommy didn't leave and come home with this creature that's now invading her space . I guess when you are setting things up, washing things, talk about a new baby coming with her. But honestly, it's going to be hard because she's still young and that concept is hard to grasp without a baby physically being there. She'll be a little older and able to understand a little more than Mia did.
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  #3  
July 20th, 2012, 01:51 PM
BabyLove23's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would love advice on this too!! Izzy plays with her "baby" and rocks her and hugs her, but I don't think she understands a REAL baby is on its way!
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  #4  
July 20th, 2012, 01:59 PM
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When I went from 1 to 2, my DS knew I had a baby in my belly, but I think he "got it" when she came home. To include him, I always asked for his help and to make sure he didn't get jealous, when he needed attention I always gave it to him. Sometimes I had to let DD cry a couple seconds more, but she lived. I would just make sure to keep those "special times" even if it seems exhausting sometimes.
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  #5  
July 20th, 2012, 02:34 PM
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I'm having a hard time with this, my son will be almost 3 but he's behind developmentally and he's not going to understand until it just happens i dont think. He couldnt care less about babies if he sees them but i do think he will be jealous if he sees me with one.
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  #6  
July 20th, 2012, 03:22 PM
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Well Angelina was older (4 1/2) when Lorelai was born, so she understood everything & we had lots of discussions about everything that goes along with having a new baby sister. I read a few parenting books about preventing sibling rivalry because I wanted to make the transition as easy as possible.

Here are a few things we did that worked really well for us:
*The baby gave Angelina a special present (make sure you pack this is your hospital bag).
*We taped a picture of Angelina on the baby's hospital bed & showed Angelina that the baby wanted to be able to see her big sister all the time.
*We made a special basket full of new fun toys & activities to keep Angelina busy while I nursed/pumped/rocked the baby etc.
*I always referred to the baby as our baby.
*I spent every extra minute I could with Angelina & passed off baby to Daddy. Your oldest is used to lots of exclusive Mommy time.
*We made a "snack bucket" in the fridge, which was tupperware container filled with snacks that Angelina could grab anytime she wanted throughout the day so that I didn't need to drop what I was doing to get her food.
*I always greeted Angelina first when returning home or entering a room.
*I included her as much as I could in caring for her sister--she would grab diapers and "help" me change/feed/dress the baby etc. I always made a big deal about what a great helper she was.

Even the most well-adjusted kid will have their difficult times/moments. For us it was weeks 4-8 when Angelina started having meltdowns because she just wanted more time with me. But other than that, we have never had jealously issues. She loves her sister more than anyone in the world and the feeling is mutual.
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  #7  
July 20th, 2012, 03:28 PM
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I like these ideas!!! Thanks!!!
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  #8  
July 20th, 2012, 04:21 PM
Country928's Avatar Marisa
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Great Ideas. I know Zoe is going to have a hard time. Shes such a mommies girl and grandpas little angel. She knows she has a brother on the way but just doesnt understand. I know it has alot of her being delayed. So I am hoping when baby gets her shell do ok. She loves babies real and fake.
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  #9  
July 20th, 2012, 05:26 PM
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I got pregnant with mason when Kylie was 18 months. She might not have really grasped the whole concept, but she did understand. The adjustment with her was wonderful. A little bit of jealousy, but not unbearable. She was great. The adjustment for my husband and I was rough. From 1 to 2 has been our toughest adjustment. And mason was actually my easiest baby! Anyway, mason was 2 and a half when Cullen was born (much older than Kylie was when mason was born) and the adjustment was hard for him. He is a very sensitive, tender child. It hit him hard to have a new baby in the house. Very jealous, and became much more emotional than he had been. Cullen is 20 months, mason is 4, and mason still struggles. Anyway, just talk as much as you can to your child about it, and let them be a part of whatever planning they can. Like I said, the adjustment from 1 to 2 was harder on us parents than it was for Kylie.
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  #10  
July 20th, 2012, 05:52 PM
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we didnt do anything.. when Van came he just fit right in like he was always there.. his brother adored him and we never had any jealousy issues
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  #11  
July 20th, 2012, 06:34 PM
*Izzy's*Mommy*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I've been talking to Izzy about it a lot and she likes the idea, but she is setting her boundaries already. She's always been very verbal, from a really early age, so that's helped a lot for her to get her feelings across.

She says jealous things like;

"I don't want the baby to sleep in my old crib"
"The baby won't be playing with any of my toys"
"Oh no, there's no milk left in your boobies for the new baby" (She says it with a smirk because she's happy she's nursed me dry, lol. Uh-oh, no milk for the baby...what a shame.)

She also does loving things though, like hugging and kissing my belly. She likes to give my tummy "raspberries" and then she laughs because she says she's sure that the baby likes them and is laughing inside my tummy. She'll list all of the tasks she can help me with (feeding, changing, playing with the baby....etc...).

I think she'll be ok, but I know it won't be easy because she's a very spoiled, bossy girl. At the same time, she's really affectionate and sweet, and she LOVES babies! She prefers holding newborns to playing with her toddler friends.
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  #12  
July 20th, 2012, 10:57 PM
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I obviously haven't gone through this yet, but will also very soon. So far, I have been including Neil a lot in talking about the baby, how big it is right now, what her name will be, and how much of a helper he will be when she gets here. I also let him listen to the heartbeat sometimes with my doppler and he already calls the baby "our baby" or even "his baby." He's excited, but I don't know what he's going to think when she's actually here.
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  #13  
July 21st, 2012, 05:03 AM
KatherineD's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm actually more worried about going from 2-3 than I was going from 1-2!! Mia was such an easy child and it was such an easy transition for her. Elizabeth from birth has been a mama's girl and is very attached to me. It's been advised by family that when I have William, that DH be the one to carry him in and not me. I'm hoping that she'll be fine, but I know I have to make some extra time for her, especially in those early days where it's going to be really hard!
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  #14  
July 21st, 2012, 06:28 AM
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Nothing w/ the kids that were close together. My first 3 were 18 months apart and and my last 2 were 15 months apart. The others we just talked w/ them about the baby. My 3 yo old right now does not understand that we will have a baby, he's sure we are getting a batman, lol.
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