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  #1  
July 21st, 2012, 06:13 PM
turtlefly's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 460
any other first time moms terrified of giving birth? i've been watching videos of different types of labor, and im scared to death! im so scared of an epi, im willing to get pain meds but im afaid it wont be enough. i dont do well with pain, im a BIG baby! so if anyone has any advice for a coward like me i would apreciate it.
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  #2  
July 21st, 2012, 06:48 PM
BlndGrl8's Avatar Kaitlin & Cameron's Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,014
This will be my 2nd time, but I'm actually really excited for labor and delivery. That was my favorite part!! I never watched any birthing videos, but I'm sure if I did I'd be feeling scared and nervous. I never acted like the women on TV or labor in movies. I didn't even scream. I said "oww oww oww" and that was really it! Maybe my experience is just different from other women, but you won't actually know what you can handle until you are in the situation. I didn't have any pain meds at all and I can't wait to do it again! You'll be just fine. Your body will take over and let you know what you need or don't need.
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  #3  
July 21st, 2012, 07:04 PM
BabyLove23's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 3,322
Epi is a piece of cake!! They numb the area before you get it, so you don't feel a thing.
Don't worry, people are more dramatic on tv for a reason. Drama sells!
I'm not saying its easy, I'm just saying don't get scared from what you see/hear. Everyone is different. Your best bet is to do your research, get a birth plan you are happy with, and go with the flow. You can do it :-)
~Tanya~ and kristap4 like this.
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  #4  
July 21st, 2012, 07:11 PM
kristap4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Rehoboth, MA
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I agree, the epi wasn't bad at all... They do numb the area and the guy i had explained to me everything he was doing.. He asked me if i wanted to see the needle, which i didn't and he was ok with that. But i am more relaxed when i know what is going on... I also had natural with my son and it went so quick for me, but I didn't scream like tv either... Just concentrate on what the nurses and dr. are telling you or if you are doing the lamaze or hypnobirthing or what ever relaxation techniques you will be using... Just stay focused and i'm sure you will be ok..
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  #5  
July 21st, 2012, 07:12 PM
melaniek85's Avatar Frankie and Ronin's mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Glen Burnie, Md
Posts: 3,396
I was really concerned and freaked out at first about all that, the pain of labor and delivery, having an epi. But I decided not to worry about it anymore. I figured that I don't know what to expect, so I can't be concerned about the pain because I can't prepare for how it will feel or how I will deal with it. Also, it's going to happen, I can't avoid it, so why worry. And if the pain too bad, I probably will want it gone, now matter what they ha to do and an epi won't seem so bad. lol. Sorry, I'm not much help but it's normal to worry and freakout about it.
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  #6  
July 21st, 2012, 07:30 PM
*Anna*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 5,335
See the thread below this about this. I posted alot about my drug free birth with my DD and my new birth plans. Giving birth is empowering and awesome! I loved it- cant wait to do it again. You really have to read and research it and study too. It's all worth it and the best experience of my life!!!!
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  #7  
July 21st, 2012, 09:17 PM
mrs.wagner.10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Its really not that important is it?
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Im not that worried about it. Im going for a natural birth too. Everyone how ever is very downing and discouraging about it. DH thinks im silly but is finally ok with the fact that I want to atleast try. The thing that helps me stay calm is women give birth every single day and they are ok. Try not to stress out to bad but also dont be pressured into anything you dont want to do. I think home births are worse to watch because they are in their own homes and comfortable and can do what ever they want and if they want to seem like they are in a TON of pain they will plus they know that there is a camera and its going on youtube. I have also found that more people like to give "horror storys" more then they do good storys. I deal with that too! Im here if ya ever need to talk.
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  #8  
July 21st, 2012, 09:58 PM
NewGurl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2,339
I was super worried about haveing a baby untill a few weeks ago 1 of my friends gave natural birth to an 11 LB girl. I was just like ok if she can do that and be smiling afterwards then I can make it through haveing a baby no mater what method I end up using.
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  #9  
July 21st, 2012, 10:08 PM
*Ade*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 13,315
The best advice I can give you is to just go with the flow. Do your very best to relax about it now and not get too worked up before you even know how things will go for you. Don't watch anymore videos. When you are going through it, you will know what you need to do.
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  #10  
July 22nd, 2012, 04:53 AM
fancypants27's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Montreal, Quebec
Posts: 2,119
I was in your shoes last year. Petrified of having a baby come out of my wazoo. I was dead set on a c-section because I thought that would be easiest. At 34ish weeks my OB convinced me that I should give a vaginal birth a try and I agreed.
My fears:
Being so exposed
Pooping
Problems with the epidural (had problems with a spinal tap few years back)
Epi not taking (pain meds and anesthesia don't work so well on me)
Going through hours of labour and then needing a c-section anyway.

What happened - I had a difficult labour with lots of scary problems and pain(I will leave it at that). But as soon as Zoey was placed on me - everything was forgotten and it was the most amazing experience of my life. I thanked my OB for pushing the vaginal birth (he was surprised considering everything that happened lol). And even with everything that went wrong, Im excited for another birth and go at it. Its the most empowering experience.
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  #11  
July 22nd, 2012, 07:29 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Granada, Spain
Posts: 5,531
Stop watching the videos and don´t listen to anyone´s stories.

I was worried about it the 1st time, but worry and panic don´t help, they make you tense and then your body can´t do it right. Relax and try to go with the flow. With DD1 I had the works, she was in a difficult position and she ended up being an instrumental birth. DD2 was in such a rush to arrive I didn´t even get an aspirin!!- I agree witht the PP drama sells!! Just remember, womwn have been doing this forever, and if you feel you can´t do it anymore, then you have a lot of pain relief options. You will deliver in a hospital with qualified people there to help and you will be fine! (And you will probably be thinking about doing it all again in about 2 years )
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  #12  
July 22nd, 2012, 07:59 AM
kristiemarie518's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,551
I was the same way but my mom simply pointed out that I had no choice. The baby had to come out.

Also, I agree quit watching videos. I didn't holler and make a fuss either. I swore once. My nurse even told me to ignore the drama queen in the room next to me. Even the nurses told me that there were women who yelled and carried on for no reason. Lol.

Yes, it's going to hurt. Yes, it's a ton of work (more than you'll ever do!). But realistically, it has to happen and YOU CAN DO IT!

The thing is that no matter what anyone tells you, be it was the worst thing ever or the best thing ever, your experience is going to be different.

My mom also told me that god makes you pregnant for 9 months for a reason. And it's true. By the time you go into labor you will be ready. You might be nervous but you'll be ready.
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  #13  
July 22nd, 2012, 08:39 AM
Glycerin19's Avatar Mindful Mama
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Georgia
Posts: 786
I don't suppose it helps to tell you that you are not alone? This is my fourth and it still scares me. I've had medicated and unmedicated births and each had elements that were scary. But they also had beautiful parts that I wouldn't ever want to forget and of course there are the wonderful babies at the end.

I think what scares me most is the loss of control that inevitably occurs at some point. With my son, I labored until fully dilated but got scared at the pushing stage. So I got an epi and all was fine. With DD1 I got scared as my body took over the pushing and the speed with which she came, but it was over so soon. With DD2 I only got scared when I developed a migraine and lost the ability to focus on the birth I wanted. I ended up with an epi, but I wasn't scared anymore. This time I am trying to learn how to embrace my fear for the unknown and accept that it is a natural part of the process. I've also got a doula this time to help me remember that the fear is a signal that I need to stop fighting my body and let nature take it's course.
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  #14  
July 22nd, 2012, 09:13 AM
turtlefly's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 460
ive seen 4 of my friends give birth, but they all had epis!!! so i have never seen a birth without one and they are tougher than me when it comes to pain. im just gonna relax and go with the flow when the time comes.

thank you all for your advice! it helps to know i have ppl to talk to
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Last edited by turtlefly; July 22nd, 2012 at 09:15 AM.
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  #15  
July 22nd, 2012, 09:16 AM
*Anna*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 5,335
If I were you I would start reading Inspriational Birth Stories... and watch You Tube videos of NCB, water births, home births.... to see that. Have you seen Business of Being Born documentaries? You can't watch Birth Story and those shows that show that bad side to birthing!
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  #16  
July 22nd, 2012, 09:25 AM
Leanne78's Avatar Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,495
Honestly, by the time they finally gave me my epi, they could have put it in my eyeball for all I cared! My contractions were right on top of each other and I had to hold my knees to my chest just to stay still since there was no break in contractions. Any fear I might have had before was out the door. Heck, I would have given it to myself at that point if I had to. And I honestly didn't feel so much as a pin prick. There is something about being in labor and knowing that you have a job to get done that makes you handle things that you normally couldn't and for me that was all I focussed on - getting her out so I could hold her. When it all comes down to it, it just isn't "that" bad. And the second that baby comes out, pain is the last thing on your mind. At least it was with me. My first words were, "her butt is so little!"
kristiemarie518 likes this.
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  #17  
July 22nd, 2012, 12:04 PM
baybeecakes08's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 581
this is my third and I'm scared lol !! the epi was not bad made me a little light headed but nothing serious.. i think its just a reasonable fear lol !!
i go with the flow.. if doctor says lets do this i do it. I'm not one to argue !!
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  #18  
July 22nd, 2012, 01:29 PM
Think4Yourself's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Colorado.
Posts: 3,660
I was the same way with caleb. I was so scared of labor and birth and everything.. the unknown really scares me! But it really wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be! I didn't make a sound the entire labor, until I was pushing.. doc told me to wait a minute and I yelled no at her and kept pushing (dh says there was a swear in there but I dont remember that! lol!) but other than that it was very quiet and NOT like the movies at all. U got this!! If it was really bad none of us would be in here doing it all over again lol
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  #19  
July 22nd, 2012, 03:45 PM
turtlefly's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 460
lol thats true, i watched the videos on baby center.com of all types of births. i just dont like pain lol
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