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Feeling really down right now

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  • 1 Post By fairymommy
  • 3 Post By hope71012

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July 24th, 2012, 02:49 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,128
I am feeling like a complete and utter failure at this natural, intervention free birth plan. My body doesn't seem to want to, agree and I don't know what it is.

I had contractions more times then not from Tues to Sat. Then, nothing since. Friday I got fed up and went in to get checked and monitored. I was 5cm and mostly effaced when I left at 3pm. I am STILL just sitting here on Tuesday. No contractions, no twinges, no nothing. I feel like my body is failing at doing what it is supposed to do.

I do *NOT* want to be in the hospital. I do *NOT* want pitocin. I do *NOT* want interventions period.

Friends locally keep saying to trust my providers, normal pregnancies range 37-42 weeks, interventions are too risky, you are only 40+6 weeks, etc, etc. Thing is, I don't feel comfortable continuing. BUT I don't want to give up a natural intervention free birth. Something just seems off as to why I'm so far dilated and effaced, but not in active labor FOR DAYS. I don't want to give up, but I don't know what else to do. I do trust my providers and I know as long as baby is fine they are fine to let me keep going.

I have a non-stress test and ultrasound scheduled tomorrow morning. I know that DH and I will have options on inductions. I just can't knock this feeling that something is up and that's why I can't progress anymore. I know if I were at another provider or if I walked into any hospital they would admit me and induce. Plus, my due date was changed early on. FOr good reason, I trust the adjusted date. However, it makes me even more nervous because by the original date I am 42 weeks today.

I just feel like a failure and I really want to experience an intervention free, natural childbirth. At this point, I just don't know what is best and feel so guilty even considering evicting her before she's ready and/or feeling like I don't trust my providers. One of the reasons I choose my providers is because I knew they would give me every chance to have the birth I want.

I wish there was a magical answer. I know there isn't. I'm anxious for my appointment tomorrow.
Mommy to H (6) and E (brand new)
4 Angels gone too soon

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July 24th, 2012, 04:03 PM
fairymommy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 510
oh hun I'm sorry things don't seem to be panning out how you envisioned. I had a hard time with the idea of getting induced as I wanted an intervention free delivery as well. However, I feel that once I had that induction date set, something in my head and heart just made me feel so relaxed about it, knowing that I would get to hold my baby girl soon. So instead of over analyzing every little twinge, and waking up disappointed every morning, I just let all of that go and I think in that, my body just said "ok then, lets do this", and there I gave birth naturally on the morning, 3 hours before I was set to get induced.
This is my first time, so I don't have loads of experience and knowledge, but if there is one thing I took away from this is to relax and try to be in peace about the fact that your body and baby are healthy, and that you will be holding the little one before you know it.
If you DO have to get induced, have them start with cervidil, as it sounds like you are well on your way but just need a little nudge. That's what I would have done, and if that works, no need to be hooked up to anything and you will still have a natural child birth

Oh, and find some stair or a steep hill! Did a whole bunch of stairs and a hike on Saturday afternoon...I swear that helped too..wooo gravity! lol
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July 24th, 2012, 09:02 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,759

I kind of felt/feel the same way about my water breaking and not being in labor. I walked, and walked and NOTHING. I really wanted to avoid the pitocin too, but I didn't get to. I hope you get to!!
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July 25th, 2012, 02:22 AM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 208
I have been feeling the same! I've been 4.5cm and contracting on and off for almost 2 weeks now and my body has still not done anything to really push to active labor! I'm not 40 weeks yet, but I've been starting to wonder if something is just wrong and my body is having trouble getting things going on it's own. I had my membranes swept yesterday and that's done nothing but cause some brown spotting.

I haven't been planning a natural, intervention free birth, but I absolutely did want to go into labor on my own. But being so big, my Midwife doesn't want me going longer than 40 weeks so Friday when I see her again we will plan the induction that night or the next day. I was induced with my son too, so I really wanted to experience going on my own this time. But I'm finally starting to accept I may just have to be induced. All I care about at this point is my baby girl being in my arms finally.

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July 25th, 2012, 06:50 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,128
Thanks ladies for the kind and comforting words.

My goal is a living breathing baby and had to remind myself of that. I know my providers are strong natural birth and least interventions. That is why I choose them. If I have any shot at a natural birth it is here. But at the end of the day I want a living breathing baby.

I really think we have a positioning issue. But not sure what else to do besides what I've been doing. Baby did seem to get her back unstuck and moved a bit.

I'm just very concerned at this point driving an hour for trustworthy providers. If I'm anymore dialated, I don't think we will make it. I don't want a roadside birth, or random on call doctor at the nearest hospital, or unplanned and unassisted homebirth. Iinduction seems safer.
Mommy to H (6) and E (brand new)
4 Angels gone too soon

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July 25th, 2012, 08:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,128
I feel a lot better! Baby has plenty of fluid, placenta looks perfect, non-stress test looks great, everything is great!

It is a position of baby issue though. She doesn't have her head turned the right direction. We could see her little face which is no good. Sunny side up...

We are going to give her a few more days to adjust her position. I'm going to try as much as I can on spinning babies. Monday we will repeat the tests, but most likely break my water and get things going. I love the birth center because they will break it and let you go home or whatever. You don't have to stay. And they give you a 72 hr time clock before going to the hospital if nothing is happening.

Very encouraging. I feel a lot better. I was joking with dh that baby is trying to come on our anniversary which is Sunday.
Mommy to H (6) and E (brand new)
4 Angels gone too soon

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July 25th, 2012, 09:14 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 7,051
Glad the NST was so good. That would be an awesome anniversary present to finally meet your rainbow baby that day.

Hopefully she'll get into a good position soon and you'll go into labor and get your birth center natural birth.
Mama to an elementary school boy, kindergarten girl, and my miracle toddler girl.
Three 10w losses (11/2010 + 8/2011 + 10/2014)
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July 26th, 2012, 11:21 AM
ohfiddleheads's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Salt Spring Island, BC, Canada
Posts: 1,236
I'm glad everything has checked out great

I was in the same boat. I wanted everything to be natural with NO interventions whatsoever. I ended up having a c-section because my LO was breech. Often times there are things that are out of our control and we just have to roll with the punches. Like what fairymommy said, once I had my section scheduled I felt a lot more relaxed because I knew WHEN she would be born and I ended going in earlier because my water broke. Stress is no friend when you're trying to get labor going. You still have a few days yet, so I hope the spinning babies techniques help and you go on your own. Good luck!

Hannah Elizabeth born June 30, 2012
via Cesarean due to breech presentation
7 lbs 15 oz, 20.5 in
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July 26th, 2012, 01:30 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,759
DD#3 was sunny side up. she rotated in labor and came FLYING out. I think dd#2 was too. Early labor for her lasted forever!
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July 26th, 2012, 04:54 PM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 6,194
Oh that's a great update! At least you know what is going on and might be able to work on some solutions
Previously known as ~~Que~~

Student Midwife, Doula, Placenta Specialist, and Lactation Counselor
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