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Kaley- born 11/15/07
With Kaley, Jordan and I didn't know a thing about having babies. She was a COMPLETE surprise and we were clueless, literally blindly trusting the doctors caring for us the entire pregnancy. My OB at the time told me she would be too big to birth vaginally and I should have a c-section when I was 12 days overdue. I didn't know any better, so I said okay. They said they couldn't induce me because my Bishop's score was zero. I had contractions the night before the scheduled c-section but went for the surgery anyways because I was scared- they told me she was going to be 10-11 lbs. What first time mom wouldn't be? Anyways, she was 9 lbs 4 oz and healthy as could be. Surgery went well though my reaction to the spinal was hell and recovery sucked. Months later, I was stumbling around online reading birth stories and so began my journey into learning about how different things could have been had I advocated for myself and known more. For a couple of years, we swore we weren't having any more kids. Then we changed our mind.. but I was only okay with trying for another if I could have a VBAC at home. I felt it was the safest place for me to have a baby intervention free and I fully trusted my midwife and doula. We also lived 4 miles from the closest hospital “just in case” so we decided to go ahead.
Grant- born 4/10/12
We found out in July of 2011 we were pregnant again and due April 11, 2012. This baby was going to be a surprise so we had no clue if it was a boy or girl. It was fairly complication free, minus some blood platelet issues that later got resolved. Fast forward to April and I had been having on and off contractions for several days, varying in strength and consistency. On April 9 , I had called my midwife (Misti Balzer) and doula (Cecilia Mitchell) over around 1AM because my contractions were regular. Only 1 out of every 4-5 were painful though. I was 1cm dilated still (I was checked at 39 weeks and was 1 cm and 50% effaced) and 75% effaced but it wasn't quite time yet. Misti advised me to rest up because it was coming soon. Her and Cee left to also get some rest. I asked my MIL to get Kaley the next day so I could get some sleep. It was difficult because each contraction wasn't painful but the ones that were, were AWFUL and I didn't get good rest. I just laid around the house and read and watched TV. The calm before the storm, so to speak. I read over my birth affirmations and browsed through “Birthing From Within” for the hundredth time. Everyone kept telling me I would know when it was time so I waited.
Around 1AM on April 10 (almost 24 hours later and exactly 1 day before my due date), I knew it was time. Each contraction was painful and they were regular and getting closer but I wanted to wait until they were really close to call or I needed the support. I called Misti and Cee over again around 5AM. They showed up around 6-7AM I think. I remember telling Jordan at one point that if they didn't get there within 20 minutes I was going to the hospital for medication because it HURT too bad. I heard him call Cee in a panic and before I knew it, they were in our master bedroom. I immediately felt more comfortable. I was fully effaced and able to be stretched to 2cm. I spent the first few of hours on the birthing ball, walking on the stair case, and hopping in and out of the shower. We just chatted in between contractions. I was uncomfortable but confident. I snacked on some oranges and cantaloupe. A while later, I got in my tub. It was heaven and made contractions so much easier. I was in there for a while. I snacked off and on and just relaxed. The contractions were more and more painful as time went on. Jordan was with me almost the entire time and whenever I needed some encouragement, I'd call Cee in. Jordan made me a PB&J.
Around 2:30 PM I was having a lot of bloody show but my water was still intact. After some time, I was checked again. Bree (Misti's assistant) arrived. At this point, I was over being checked because it hurt but I wanted to know how I was progressing because it didn't feel like things were going the way they should. I was able to be stretched to 3cm but not making much progress in the way of the baby moving further down. I could tell by where they put the heart rate monitor each time they checked. The baby was doing fine but I was getting tired. I felt like things weren't moving enough so I got out of the tub and started walking up and down my stairs again and doing movements that I can't really describe but felt NATURAL and NECESSARY to me to help the baby move down. I did that for a while but got back in the tub because the contractions hurt so bad. I kept repeating birth affirmations to myself. Jordan and everyone was encouraging me every step of the way, which I needed because I was starting to feel less confident. I remember vomiting and crying. We hoped the vomiting would dilate me some more and push things forward but it didn't.
I was checked again later and still the same. I started to lose faith at this point and mentioning I wanted to go to the hospital and get a repeat c-section because I was exhausted and I couldn't do it anymore and I didn't feel like “it” was working. Everyone took turns trying to talk me out of it. I knew that every homebirthing/natural birthing mother gets to a point where they want to quit and that's usually before crowning but I also knew I was NO WHERE near that point. I was exhausted, I was tired, I couldn't continue, and I was just done. But **** it, I did not want to get out of the tub because it was the only thing keeping me sane through the awful contractions. I wanted to leave my house but I wanted to take my tub with me. And I was clinging to hope that something would change.. This was about 4PM. I was giving it my all before really giving in to go to the hospital. We gave it some more time and around 4:30PM we decided to break my water and stretch me to 4cm and try to get things really moving. There was meconium in the water when it ruptured but it was not concerning at that point. We waited some time and contractions picked up again and were strong but it wasn't moving forward. I was having some pain in one of my hips and felt like the baby couldn't move down. Every time they checked the heart rate, it was in the same spot. About the time I was going to throw in the towel for good, Misti said she was about to tell me we need to go anyways because the meconium was thicker and the hip pain I was having concerned her. She checked me again and I didn't make it past the last stretch to 4cm or -1 station. I cried and cried and cried. The entire time I got out of the tub, got dressed, and we were packing a small bag to leave I just cried. I was in so much pain and I was so tired and I didn't want to go to the dang hospital but I felt like I needed to. This was at 9PM that we were leaving. And I didn't prepare one bit for a hospital transfer. The idea was simply foreign to me. I was SO confident I would birth my baby at home.
Cee was leaving to attend another mom in labor and Misti & Bree came with us. We drove there in our vehicle and was admitted to L&D. On the drive there, Misti called to advise them of the transfer and we were warned multiple times that the OB on call was NOT VBAC friendly. We didn't think it mattered since I was getting a repeat c-section. I signed in and was wheeled to L&D, right behind another mom in labor but she was having twins. In the room, it was difficult to answer their questions and place the IV as the contractions were SO painful (I'm positive I kicked a nurse in the face and threatened to kill the nurse trying to check me to see how dilated I was which was still 4cm but I did get to zero station) that I just writhed on the bed in tears. Thank goodness Misti was there with all of my records and could answer everything. The nurses asked me if I wanted an epidural and to continue trying or if I wanted a repeat c-section. I was so exhausted and done with it all I picked the c-section. Everyone was very friendly up to this point.
We had to wait for an hour to even go back to the OR but once I was back there, they gave me the spinal. That was hard because I was supposed to sit still and couldn't through the contractions. There was an amazing nurse who helped me through sitting still through the spinal and I am forever thankful to her for being so kind to me throughout the hellish process. After the spinal, I was telling the nurses and staff that the baby's gender was a surprise and I wanted my husband to tell me so to please not announce the gender. The OB (Charles V. Wilson, the one we warned was not VBAC friendly on the phone by the head nurse on the way in) was walking in as I said this and rolled his eyes and then said to me "So, you were trying to kill yourself and your baby?" I said "Excuse me?" and he replied "Your uterus could have ruptured and you and your baby would have died!" I calmly (how?? I do not know!) said "There is a LESS THAN ONE PERCENT chance that could have happened!" and he repled "Still, you were willing to take that chance on your baby's life?" The nurse that helped me through the spinal came to my side and told me to ignore him because he was a jerk and distracted me from hearing his ranting by talking to me about my Kaley. He continued to rant until Jordan came in the room and they started surgery although he made negative comments throughout surgery about midwives like how they are incompetent and they should be arrested when they have transfers and they can deliver a few babies and they think they can do HIS job. I tried to ignore him. Our baby BOY was delivered at 10:30PM. I heard him crying and they told me his weight and took him to the nursery. They never held him up to me though he was perfectly healthy and there was no reason to rush out. After Jordan followed them to the nursery and the OB had closed me up, he told me "Thank God for OB's. It looks like your uterus could have ruptured. I hope you realize how irresponsible it was to try to VBAC." He also said I make (macrosomia) big babies and can't birth them vaginally. At that point, my negative reaction to the spinal was in full effect (shaking & itching) and I was not going to entertain discussing it with him but I asked if he had to do anything special closing me up and he said no.
I was wheeled to recovery and finally met my baby boy. Grant was beautiful. Misti and Bree helped us get him latched on, and by that I meant they held him up to my breast and latched him on for me because I was still itching and shaking. He was 9 lbs 12 oz and 21.5" long. He was perfect. He had a 4cm lump on the side of his head. Surprise, he was asynclitic! I had a textbook asynclitic/malpositioned baby labor. I was able to be discharged about 42 hours after delivery and without seeing the OB again as they insisted he discharge me but I explained the situation to the head nurse and she made an exception and got me a script for medication and let us go. He did request I do my follow up visits with him. I laughed. Yeah right! And yes, I did file a complaint against him with the hospital. Especially after I received my surgical report that said I had NO prenatal care, dilated to 6cm, my water broke in the morning, I was in labor for only 5 hours, I used a late (lay?) midwife, and I had a partial uterine rupture. I did confirm the rupture but the rest was bull. I never got past 4cm, we broke my water, I actively labored for 18-20 hours, I obviously had prenatal care and most certainly not from an illegal midwife.
Last edited by melkissa2004; July 31st, 2012 at 08:31 PM.
HUGS Melissa. I'm sorry that you were treated so horribly by a doctor. He ruined what should have been a special moment between you and your husband. Grant is such a blessing and you did the best thing you could do in the moment. Your an awesome mommy