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He sleep semi-peacefully with nobody attached to him or needing him. Yet complains hes tired. Baby was up cluster feeding for an hour and half. I had to use the restroom and baby was wide awake. I asked him to please take her and try to get her asleep. He lays dd down next to him on the bed and goes back to sleep. I got pissed and told him to go rock her or something. His reply was, I rocked her for 10 minutes before you fed her. Um, ya whatever and it's almost 2 hrs later.
Everything is like this! He barely spends time with dd2. I'm glad he's keeping dd1 entertained, but I haven't even spent time with her or been able to nap. He's downstairs or whatever having fun, making messes, etc. we both work and need sleep...not just him. I'm out for now, but don't want resentment to build.
Mommy to H (6) and E (brand new)
4 Angels gone too soon
Ha! Hubby complained once about being tired when I'm doing all the getting up....I barely kept myself from smacking him! He sleeps with earplugs in and doesn't even hear the baby crying or me getting up!
But to be fair, he's the one who has to get up and go to work everyday right now, and if I'm getting super frustrated he usually wakes up and helps. And now that we've introduced bottles, he'll take a night feeding every now and then.
at least like you said he is keeping your other daughter entertained, that's something
my dh is pretty good but right now at 7:30 he is still sleeping while I have been up for 2 hours. He was awake for a little while, but then Ava needed to be changed, and he didn't even offer to do it so I could rest. Then I just got up with her, and he rolls over and goes back to sleep. *rolls eyes* it's hard not to be a bit frustrated at that.
However, he is good for cleaning and helping around the house. And last night when I was falling asleep while feeding her at 10:30, he came into her room and hung out with me until she was done and he always gets our bed ready and everything organized for me (water bottle filled, cell phone under pillow, Ava's soother in bassinet, etc..)
Right now I am breastfeeding with the exception of a bottle or 2 of a preemie formula. The formula with me d/c'd once he shows that he is maintaing his weight curve and then he will be weaned off. DH obviously can't help with the breastfeeding and during the day I do everything. At night, I pretty much do everything too.
Our compromise is, when he comes home from work, he cooks dinner and keeps the other kids busy so I can tend to the needs of Kenny. Usually, I will nurse Kenny while he is cooking dinner so we can chat and catch up etc. On the weekends we will do a deep clean and send the kids upstairs to clean their rooms and we will bust out the cleaning downstairs so we can enjoy the weekends. He helps out much more on the weekends but I also chose to cloth diaper and he's still a bit intimidated and doesn't feel comfortable doing it yet. Im okay with that.
My husband will help with the other kids and with meals. The only time he helps with a newborn is if he just happens to wake up and find me changing a diaper or something. Sometimes if the baby won't settle, he'll go rock them for me (when he's in the mood), but that's rare. My husband is totally fine with cry it out and I'm not.... so I generally just take care of things myself.
Previously known as ~~Que~~
Student Midwife, Doula, Placenta Specialist, and Lactation Counselor
Add my DH to the list of those that lets me do things while he doesn't. BUT, he has been a huge help with the older 2 kids and will watch DS2 while I take a shower or a quick nap. And while he slept like a rock thru the other 2 kids waking up when they were infants this time around he does stir and if baby is crying will ask if all is ok and offers to stay up with me while I take a "break".
My personal thought is most men are afraid of the babies when they are newborns because most babies are so small and men are "big" and "strong" and don't want to break them.
My SO doesn't help much at night, but he does take her in the morning and let me sleep....when he's not working. I was surprised yesterday that he took the initiative and gave her a bottle of pumped milk so I could keep sleeping!! SO has to get up at 5 a.m. for work with a one hour commute each way so I don't mind letting him sleep at night.