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Thinking about changing her name...


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  • 4 Post By BabyLove23
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  #1  
August 6th, 2012, 06:31 PM
Kaniscooo's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Beaumont Texas
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Before I was born my mom had a little girl named Aubrey. She died. I don't really know specifics she doesn't talk about her very much. Sometimes when talking about Avery my mom will say Aubrey and I can see the pain on her face when she does this, sometimes she doesn't catch it and I don't point it out, but usually she does catch it on her own.

I just feel so bad that my name choice is bringing up a lot of old pain for my mom. In my mind though this little girl is already Avery. Do you think maybe it will stop/get easier after Avery's been here for a while? This is a kind of difficult situation.

She hasn't asked me to change her name or anything. She'll just get a really pained look and apologize. It really kills me. What am I supposed to do?
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  #2  
August 6th, 2012, 06:36 PM
BabyLove23's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: New York
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I don't think I would change it. Avery is going to create a new beautiful memory for her. I bet after a few weeks of saying her name, she will stop mixing the two. And I'm sure it wont be as painful.
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  #3  
August 6th, 2012, 06:43 PM
white.house's Avatar Kelli
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Location: Southeastern, USA
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I know if it were me and my mom, her pain would hurt me to much and I would probably end up changing it.
However, ITA with the PP too. I think once she's here maybe that pain and the connection would dissipate a bit? I don't know that's a tough call!
I think only you will truly know the right thing to do in your situation. But I definitely don't think you would be doing anything "wrong" by keeping the name, kwim?
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  #4  
August 6th, 2012, 08:27 PM
sandpaper06's Avatar Mom of 3 darlings
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Oh, that would be hard. I would probably end up changing the name personally. Mainly because my mom is my best friend and I couldn't deal with seeing the pain in her eyes. I'm sure the association would dissipate, but it would still be hard for the little while they were linked in her brain.

Good luck. What a tough decision.

Oh, that would be hard. I would probably end up changing the name personally. Mainly because my mom is my best friend and I couldn't deal with seeing the pain in her eyes. I'm sure the association would dissipate, but it would still be hard for the little while they were linked in her brain.

Good luck. What a tough decision.
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  #5  
August 6th, 2012, 08:36 PM
BlndGrl8's Avatar Kaitlin & Cameron's Mommy
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Can you talk to your mom about it and see what she thinks? I can understand name association and how it could bring up something so painful. See what she says and then go from there!
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  #6  
August 6th, 2012, 08:40 PM
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i would actually suggest sitting her down, and talk about Aubrey, find out what happened, perhaps talking about her will short of get a relief off her back.. maybe thats what she needs/is looking for
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