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Annoying first time advice


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  #21  
August 7th, 2012, 03:29 PM
mrs.wagner.10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I dont understand why people can not leave us alone as to when it comes to our choices. They got to make theirs let us make ours!!! GAH! LOL! I know Labor and delivery is not going to be easy. I know that BF is not going to be easy. Walking wouldn't be easy either if we didnt learn how to!
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  #22  
August 7th, 2012, 03:38 PM
Think4Yourself's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.wagner.10 View Post
My mom is complete opposite, She thinks i am insane for doing a natural birth. She keeps telling me I need to stop being so selfish and stop trying to be super women. Even DH thinks I am stupid. I have news for everyone I am going to do it MY way. I am not 100% against the epi, I just want to try and do it with out it. She was like well what if you have to have a emergency c section they will knock you out and you wont wake up for hours after the baby is born and if the pain is so bad you wont let the baby drop and blah blah blah I have heard it all. Granted I have never gave birth before but why tell me all of these things instead of letting me try. My plan when it comes to L&D is to try and go for as long as I can with out the epi. IF i can't do it I will get it. But I'm not going to go in and say first thing i want the epi.

The annoying things I have been told are L&D hurts and I need to request the epi as soon as I get into the hospital. Pitocen contractions hurt worse then "normal" contractions and I just need to be prepared for the pain and not even try to do it if I am induced. The horror storys of L&D. How I need to formula feed because its so convenient for everyone to be able to feed the baby. How I need to walk so many miles a day by such time. How I need to use gas drops when baby is fussy. the list goes on and on. I really wish people would leave pregnant people alone and let them experience things with out having how person a's birth went and thats how yours will go and you need to do this and that and yada yada yada.. oh and one that happend just the other day thats drove me batty is how I need to let my infant stay with people and pawn him off so that he will be use to sleeping at other peoples houses and I can have some down time. Ok, I am not against my child spending the night with grandparents, but he will be five or six before that happens. I chose to have this baby it is my responsibility to take care of him and not "pawn: him off.
I got told the same thing with DS to a tee. "You don't have to be superwoman" "just get the drugs" "you have nothing to prove" yada yada yada. What is wrong with people and their stupid unwanted comments?!

I'll tell ya of course it did hurt but it feels like very strong menstrual cramps and I breathed through them and was fine until transition, when I started to panic and got a shot of the IV drugs (didn't do anything for pain anyway lol) but until I got scared, I was doing great.

Fear makes the pain worse, it makes the body tense up, and everyone agrees state of mind and where people are at mentally when in pain has a lot to do with it, too. After birth, I was up and walking on my own to the other room, and doing great almost right away. I remember the nurse coming in to check on me, the first thing she said was "can you feel your legs yet?" and I looked at her like she had 5 heads thinking, what the heck are you talking about, I didn't get amputated, lady! And then she laughed and remembered I was "the one" that went without the Epi LOL. I sat there thinking I couldn't imagine sitting here after labor is all done and not be able to feel my own legs! lol!

I definitely encourage anyone looking into having a natural birth to surround yourself either online or in real life with people who can give encouragement rather than just crap talk it all the time. It really sucks that people do that, it always made me feel like such crap!
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  #23  
August 7th, 2012, 03:47 PM
mrs.wagner.10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by (Calebs_Momma) View Post
I definitely encourage anyone looking into having a natural birth to surround yourself either online or in real life with people who can give encouragement rather than just crap talk it all the time. It really sucks that people do that, it always made me feel like such crap!
Thats what I am going to do. I finally have Dh on board to let me try to do it. My ob is on board with it he actually prefers natural over the epi's is what he told us when I talked to him about it. :O I was so shocked! I am pretty hard headed to when it comes to what I want. The only thing I am worried about is the fact that I may have to have a C-Section with out even trying due to my PTC. Im ok with both options but my OB knows how much I really would like to have a natural birth and hes going to help me as best as he can he said. I am glad I have you guys who have been there and done that with both the Cesarian and the natural either way.
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  #24  
August 7th, 2012, 08:29 PM
white.house's Avatar Kelli
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Location: Southeastern, USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.wagner.10 View Post
I dont understand why people can not leave us alone as to when it comes to our choices. They got to make theirs let us make ours!!!
I used to get pretty annoyed by comments too, especially with Eli.
I've tried to change my outlook on it now so that I don't get annoyed as badly. I try to take most things with a nod and a smile and try to remind myself that MOST people are trying to be helpful or well meaning (with the exception of a few... who I allow myself to get annoyed at!! )

I know at this point I have given advice to some pregnant friends (in a well-meaning way) and I'm sure some of them have shaken their heads or gotten annoyed. I think when you are a mama, seeing pregnant women brings back a lot of good memories and you can't help but share your experiences... although it doesn't always come out in the best way from some!!
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  #25  
August 7th, 2012, 08:35 PM
rachkel's Avatar Super Mommy
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I'm finding I'm getting a lot of advice and assumptions from non-moms. I mean, I get the annoying advice and opinions from my mom all the time, but I just ignore her now. I'm more irritated with the non-mom advice...

I have a non-mom friend who told me that if I think I'm tired now, just wait until the baby is born. I looked at her and laughed, and said that I'll have DH to help with that. She just gave me this puzzled look and said, "Well you have to feed the baby. He can't do that.". When I told her I wasn't BF and would be attempting to pump, she looked horrified and tried to lecture me on BF. I told her that I had my reasons for wanting to pump, and one of them was so DH and others could feed the baby and bond with him. She couldn't understand any of that for the life of her, and still to this day, will bring up that I have to "feed the baby" every few hours at night.

My MIL told me I needed to "rough up" my nipples. Then proceeded to go into detail how pumping would be more traumatizing for me and worse than BF would be. Did I mention she did this at Easter? In front of the whole family?

Another bit of advice I seem to get a lot, that I really don't care to hear (I want to make my own decisions) is that since I'm not BF, I need to sit topless while feeding the baby so we can have skin-to-skin bonding. Part of the reason I'm not BF is because I don't want to have to lift up my shirt constantly, or pull out my boob and I really don't want to cover up. No matter what I do, I will bond with my son.
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  #26  
August 7th, 2012, 08:47 PM
white.house's Avatar Kelli
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^ BFing was NOT my main source of bonding with baby! In fact, there were moments few and far between where BFing actually created a moment of bonding! It really, really annoys me when people try to shove it in your face that BFing is the best/only/perfect way to bond with baby!! So I am with you on the annoyance over that Rachel!
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  #27  
August 7th, 2012, 09:55 PM
mrs.wagner.10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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No matter what happens you will bond with your child. Heck labor and delivery is a "bonding" moment. I have learned to be a duck and let it roll off my back. Even tho I am going to try and BF I HATE how pushy people are when it comes to BF or Circ or Vaxing yada yada yada. My thought is I am the parent. I will make the choices no one else. I try to steer clear of the topics. When people who dont really know me or I feel matter ask if I am BF or FF. I just say well we havent desired yet or It depends on how the baby is going to do. Just give a very vague answer and go on. Kelli, I think I have gotten better at just smiling and saying thanks for the input ill keep it in mind and go on with my day
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