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Does this make me a bad mom??

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  • 1 Post By NYCgirl
  • 1 Post By Repti.Mom

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August 11th, 2012, 02:12 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 827
I went on the labor and delivery tour today, and was disappointed to find out that the nurses wont take the baby to the nursery for you. With both of my other kids, after LONG labors with both of them, I was exhausted! I was comforted when the nurses would take them to the nursery for me to sleep a few hours, after all the excitement calmed down, and I was finally ready to crash a few hours. I trust them completely, as its their job, and theyre qualified to take care of them, and they would always bring them to me to eat, so Its not like I ever went more than a couple hours away from my babies... But my Mom didnt even want me to ask them that, because who wouldnt want their baby with them the whole time?? I don't think it makes me a bad mother to want a few hours of rest, knowing that the baby is in good hands. Once he's home, I'll be on my own. I'm not MAD they won't take them, but I dont see why they can't for a few hours so I can recover and sleep. I know I can sleep while he's in the room, but for some reason, It was so comforting to know the nurses were awake watching them the whole time, making sure they were okay, breathing, everything was normal, and I could totally rest for a couple hours without worrying at all. Am I crazy for hoping they would do that? They offered to at the other hospitals.
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August 11th, 2012, 02:20 PM
NYCgirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Posts: 978
Everyone is different and has different needs. If that is what you want just ask. One was or another is not right or wrong, nor does it make you a good or bad mom.

I am on the other end of the spectrum. I have a hard time stepping into the shower right after the birth of my babies because I can't take my eyes off them! My DH has to stand right there holding the little baba! From the moment them come out of me there are right beside me. I never even used the fish bowl bassinets they have in some hospitals.

Again we are all different. We need to do what is best for us as moms and that is what makes us the best mom we can be!!
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Ryan 18 months.

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August 11th, 2012, 02:34 PM
Risa's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 211
Are you sure they won't take them? My hospital is very "family centered" and encourages you to keep them with you (the nursery was empty when we toured) but they said that if you do want the nurses to take the baby for a few hours they will. I think you just have to ask rather than it being assumed they would take them for the night.

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August 11th, 2012, 02:55 PM
MrsB1227's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 3,074
Maybe they didn't mention it but I'm sure they would take the baby, I mean isn't that their job? With my DS, immediately after delivery I let them take him when they asked as they brought him back when he needed to eat. Basically I was just nervous to have him alone with me because I'd never done so much as change a diaper and it made me nervous to be alone with him (silly, I know!). This time I'll have baby with me every second). I totally get wanting those few precious hours of sleep after such an exhausting experience and am sure that the nurses will have no problem taking him.
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August 11th, 2012, 03:08 PM
alicenwonderland's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Rochester NY
Posts: 14,022
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While i got plenty of sleep with my baby in the room, i can understand craving those precious hours. My last birth was awful, and if my son didn't sleep the way he did, i would be begging someone to take them.

As or the 'why', it probably has something to do with staffing. At least in my hospital (where i work) We have a 2 units, a c-section and gyn surgery unit, and l&d. They put staff where they are needed. Each laboring mother gets her own nurse. If there are a lot of laboring women, the c-section nurses have to take on all the post partum patients in l&d. If someone wants to sleep, they have to open the nursery and put a nurse in there.

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August 11th, 2012, 05:50 PM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,641
There are two sides of the spectrum, you have hospitals that want to take the kid the whole time to the nursery and then the ones that encourage rooming in. The hospitals even more encourage rooming in for first time moms. A lot of first time moms send their kids to the nursery too much because they don't know what to do with it. I'm sure they'll take the baby for a few hours here and there.
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August 11th, 2012, 08:14 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,663
I agree. They may have meant they dont have a nursery where baby automatically stays overnights in, or where they routinely bring baby during certain times, but still they'd probably watch baby for a few hours whille mom naps or showers. Espicially considering your situation where you don't know how much you can count on DH to help you out.

And no I don't think you are a bad mom for wanting uninteruppted sleep at all. I've asked the nurse to take the baby before just so I could get some real length of uninteruppted sleep and wake up fresh and able to take better care of baby. Espicially when I knew I'd be going home to lots of other kids and no more rest!

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August 11th, 2012, 09:34 PM
MJTKNT's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Springfield, Illinois
Posts: 3,001
I don't think it makes you a bad mom. When DS was born we had to use a hospital that was 1 1/2 hours away from us. He was born late Fri night, and DH had to work the weekend, so I was there alone. I know I didn't sleep well when DS was in the room with me, just b/c he was so new and I was so worried- every little noise that came out of him kept me up. The nurses offered to take him to the nursery for me for a couple hours, and I let them once (had to be in the hospital for 48 hrs b/c of GBS+) and that was the only good sleep I had while I was there. I haven't done our l&d tour yet, but I am going to ask about it, for sure, because if I get in the same situation again, I want to have a couple hours to rest before I come home with a new baby and a 3 year old.

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August 12th, 2012, 11:32 AM
bettyearl's Avatar Beth, mom to 4 boys
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,919
Whaaaat? I've heard of hospitals encouraging rooming in but not out-right saying nope. They must be short of staff and call this their excuse. My guess is your husband won't be there to help you and you could really use the help!

Perhaps you'll have a little chance to rest when they take him to bathe him, etc. after delivery unless you'd like to be there for those things.

You are NOT a bad mom by any means, for goodness sakes!
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August 12th, 2012, 06:16 PM
Blessed Mommy Of 5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,056
No, that does NOT make you a bad Mom!! I personally keep my babies by my side the entire time accept when they make me let them take the baby for different things. That is just preference. Plus my DH has always been there the entire time so he could watch the baby while I slept. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you trusting the nursery to care for the baby while you get some much needed sleep. I am shocked if your hospital simply does not provide that service. Never heard of a hospital that doesn't provide a nursery for the newborns.

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August 12th, 2012, 07:43 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 827
Well, that's what I thought.. Maybe they just encourage the rooming in, but I'm sure they will take him If I need them too.. Until the lady doing the tour took us by the nursery. She said "Oh there's a baby in here! There must be a special reason." Which led me to believe its not common for the babies to go to the nursery just for the mom's to sleep... I'm sure it will work out just fine.
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August 13th, 2012, 10:43 AM
momma_d's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 6,227
Our hospital is similar. They encourange/push rooming in, but they don't outright tell you no, that they won't take the baby. And actually, I don't think they really can. Expecially if you are by yourself, and need to shower or something, they would need to take the baby, right?

and NO it does not make you a bad mom at all!!
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