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Conversation Starter: Mompetition. Have you experienced it yet?


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  • 3 Post By gardenbelle
  • 1 Post By Blcooper32
  • 1 Post By dickersons09

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  #1  
August 31st, 2012, 06:42 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 510
It seems to me that a lot of women in my area always have something to say about what another is experiencing whether it's feeling flutters/kicks, feeling the kicks on the outside, or being able to see/feel hiccups, or even to how long they've had a name picked out and whether or not their instinct on what they were having was correct or not. It seems to come from about EVERY mother/expectant mother in the area. And why does it matter when someone started wearing maternity clothes?

I don't understand why it is a competition for unborn babies or even a competition at all. Who cares? You're child will be perfect no matter what, just like mine will too. You do with yours what you want as I will do with mine. For me it is with one person in particular and I'm about at my wits end with it.

Why does it matter that I'm only 22 weeks and have seen, felt, and by lucky chance recorded the kicks that made my tummy bounce out for an instant? I will never understand.

So my main question is has anyone else experienced this? Whether it be from a friend or family member who may or may not have children or be pregnant already?
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  #2  
August 31st, 2012, 06:52 AM
gardenbelle's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 3,546
I hate to say it, but this is just a little taste of what is to come. Expect lots of "Well, my Billy stood up at X months old and can site read at 18 months." Then a pause for concern, "Oh, and your Suzy hasn't said a mama yet?"
I'm not exaggerating, you will really encounter moms like this and probably not just one of them! Some don't mean to, they are just proud, normal moms who love to talk about their children but some actually do like to compare and try to make you feel like your Suzy isn't as amazing as their Billy and I think it stems out of insecurity. Don't get sucked in.
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  #3  
August 31st, 2012, 07:23 AM
Blcooper32's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Tulsa OK
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Sadly yes it will always be like that. I even have a friend who's daughter is a month older then dd and every time I start working with my dd on something she decides she has to too and will try to make her dd do something she isn't ready for then gets upset when it doesn't work. I mean geez every kid is different. Just try to ignor them and take care of yourself and that little one.
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  #4  
August 31st, 2012, 07:38 AM
dickersons09's Avatar Expecting #2
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Location: Estill Springs, Tennessee
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Oh Hunny...its only gonna get worse! I actually just witnessed this type of thing on a friends FB the other week. She posted how big her 18 month old was and another girl tried telling her the Drs. must have had it wrong because that is HUGE for the age he is and that her daughter who is only a month younger is "such and such" height and weight.

It'll range from crazy Moms "competing" about their childs size, to giving you a hard time about what you feed your child (the same friend who had the above incident on her fb was also criticized by the same person for not allowing her child to eat a lot of junk food, she was told that she's depriving her child)....its amazing that other people care so much to try and seem like a better parent!
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  #5  
August 31st, 2012, 07:44 AM
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well, that sucks to know. i'm a competitive person but when it comes to children i don't want them to grow up thinking that they aren't good enough the way they are. i want them to be secure in themselves and their differences. but for it to start with competitions in utero is just ridiculous. i'll do my best to stay out of that nasty little whirlpool. "/
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  #6  
August 31st, 2012, 07:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dickersons09 View Post
Oh Hunny...its only gonna get worse! I actually just witnessed this type of thing on a friends FB the other week. She posted how big her 18 month old was and another girl tried telling her the Drs. must have had it wrong because that is HUGE for the age he is and that her daughter who is only a month younger is "such and such" height and weight.

It'll range from crazy Moms "competing" about their childs size, to giving you a hard time about what you feed your child (the same friend who had the above incident on her fb was also criticized by the same person for not allowing her child to eat a lot of junk food, she was told that she's depriving her child)....its amazing that other people care so much to try and seem like a better parent!
My child will be SUPER deprived then as my husband and i have agreed not to take him to mcdonalds or burger king or any fast food restraunt and that when we go to restraunts he will get some of our food instead of a kids menu. partly because we want him to be open to all new foods and not just one kind but also to help curb obeistiy later in his life. hopefully. my husband is very health conscious...me not so much. but i still tend to eat healthy for the most part. i can't believe that though! deprived of sweets...they can't be deprived if they don't know what they're missing.
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  #7  
August 31st, 2012, 08:00 PM
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Lord have MERCY just wait until the baby comes, lol!

Yes. One upping and "mompetition" is everywhere, it seems. Just wait until all these babies get older and start talking, walking, eating this or that, potty training, etc, we're all gonna try to one up each other hahahaha. Just kidding, kind of, but you'll see what I mean.

Sometimes, though, it's hard NOT to compare your child or parenting choices with someone else. And sometimes we can take things the wrong way. I have a friend who's daughter started talking sentences at like 12 mos old, she's always been very advanced, she's 4 and already reading, etc... and then there's my kid that really didnt start talking until age 3, could care less about the ABCs, but has always been very physical. It was very hard not to compare my child to hers, like what was I doing wrong that Charlotte wasnt doing those things? Anyways, it still happens some with my 2nd, but not as much.

But yes a lot of moms are very much like, "Well MY kid does this and this and..." and you just wanna be like, shut up! LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blcooper32 View Post
Sadly yes it will always be like that. I even have a friend who's daughter is a month older then dd and every time I start working with my dd on something she decides she has to too and will try to make her dd do something she isn't ready for then gets upset when it doesn't work. I mean geez every kid is different. Just try to ignor them and take care of yourself and that little one.
LOL yes! My friend I mentioned is like that, too. The day I decided to start potty training Char, she just HAD to start potty training her kid. The day I bought a toddler bed for her, she just HAD to go out and get one, too. And of course, she liked to point out how few accidents her dd had had compared to mine. *sigh*
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  #8  
August 31st, 2012, 08:57 PM
anna.rose's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Wisconsin
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Yes and no. DD is pretty advanced for her age so I try not to bring anything up around other moms that she's doing "ahead", but like Mary said sometimes its just a proud mommy moment and you want to be excited with someone who would understand. I don't get the size comparing at all and I don't get trying to put other parents down. Sometimes when other moms post that they've done certain things with their children I try them to see if DD catches on, somethings she does, somethings she doesn't.

Unfortunately you will have to deal with this your entire life. Oh and also being judged on your parenting decisions. That's also my favorite. DD was BFed for 13 months until she self weaned and is still ERF at 17 months with no chance of turning around anytime soon. People are appalled by that and my family argue/s/d with me about it all the time. However, I also let her get McDonald's kids meals when life is on the go and stressful (like this week has been) and people think that's horrible to do to. You can never be right by everybody.
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